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  1. P

    Passed!

    It feels almost as good as my old green skin. :D I think my mum's really pleased, as she works for the fire brigade. We'll have to get another family photo with us all in uniform.
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    Passed!

    I'm only a volunteer myself. Still full-time with the coastguard for now. The idea of being back in a front-line role makes me feel so much better than I have in a long time. The feelings of helplessness and self-doubt all disappear the moment the fire gear goes on.
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    Passed!

    I passed my Point of Entry test for the fire brigade. I start my basic firefighting course in January. A chance to be useful again! Actually properly useful! :woot:
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    This Is Difficult - Training And Flashbacks

    I know that feeling. 'If not me, who?', eh? They're going to put that on my gravestone. :D
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    Self Blame As A Default Mode For Those With Ptsd From Combat, Medical Or Accidents?

    I do. I mean, my problems stem mostly from my own feelings about our inability to save certain people and my part in that, so self-blame is absolutely central to the whole mess.
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    Does Anyone Have A Bucket List?

    Get my commission in the Royal Navy. Get my seaplane class rating. Get my conventional undercarriage (tail-dragger) class rating Get my multi-engine rating Get a motorcycle licence Get a 1940s Harley Davidson Get a Series 2 lightweight Landrover. Travel to Mongolia and spend a good long time out...
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    Remembrance Day - Veterans Day 2012

    Thankyou. I've just arrived home from work and am having a hot chocolate to help me sleep. I've been thinking about some of my friends who left the Army with PTSD or with bits missing. I want to apologise to them for not being able to march today, you know? Anyway. I've hijacked this thread...
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    Remembrance Day - Veterans Day 2012

    No worries. It happens to combine three of my main areas of study from my youth: English literature, Latin and war. With regard to the other thing...I don't actually know what to say. Nothing I can think of seems quite adequate. I'm enormously touched. Today of all days, I mean...I never...
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    Remembrance Day - Veterans Day 2012

    'It is a sweet and righteous thing to die for your country'. Said in earnest by Horace and in disdain by Wilfred Owen. In fact: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dulce_et_decorum_est_pro_patria_mori
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    Thanks. I just get a bit down on the night watches at the best of times and with today being what it is... Thank you.
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    Okay, um, on a bit of rollercoaster tonight. Feeling pretty bad about not going to the parade this morning, but it starts at 0930 and my watch isn't over until 0700. I still have a medal ribbon to sew on to my tunic and my shoes need to be bulled. I've not got time, I don't think. I always get...
  12. P

    A Turn Away From Dissociation: The Association Thread

    :wtf: Finger sandwich?! Knuckles!
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    Ok, now I'm feeling a bit better. Just had a proper old-school search job. Just me, my colleagues, a paper chart, a radio, two RNLI lifeboats, seven merchant ships and one small vessel with duff electrics whose crew couldn't navigate for toffee. I feel like a proper Coastguard for a change.:woot:
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    Worthless. I was feeling pretty good earlier as my practice run for the fire brigade's point of entry test went rather well, but now I'm quite tired and have my usual bout of night watch loneliness. On top of that, tomorrow is Remembrance Day. Lots and lots of stuff tied in with that.
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    Remembrance Day - Veterans Day 2012

    I was hoping to join the Coastguard contingent to the parade in town this year, but I'm on the night watch tonight so I'm not going to be able. Well, technically I could, I just don't think it would be wise. I usually get very emotional at these things and going along having not slept for nearly...
  16. P

    Ptsd And Religion/ Spirituality

    Maybe he isn't the deity for you? Have you tried connecting with any of the others?
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    Breathing is slightly easier but pain my arm is worse. Really tired and a bit lonely. Not slept for a long time and not up to talking to folk at work today.
  18. P

    The Wish Game With A Twist (Just A Bit Of Fun)

    Granted. Please allow 28 days for delivery. I wish for my damned shoulder to stop hurting...
  19. P

    Poll Has PTSD Caused You To Attempt Suicide?

    I'm the kind of person who enjoys dangerous activities even when I'm feeling great, so I don't count stuff like that. I've thought about it a lot lately. Came the closest I ever have about two and a half months ago. Had a row with my wife as I was having a panic attack and she was having...
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    Sore. My throat is raw and my ribs ache from struggling to breathe because of this wretched allergic reaction. Also, an old injury to my right shoulder is playing up again. Sigh. EDIT: Also annoyed that I keep dropping the terminal 'e' from 'breathe'.
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    How Did You Sleep Last Night?

    Didn't sleep. Couldn't breath all night. I think I'm badly allergic to something my local supermarket puts in their milk or something their supplier feeds the cows on (oilseed rape, I'll bet). Not feeling at all well.
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    What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

    I don't mind people doing that sort of thing to me in theory, by which I mean I see that it's done in good humour and don't object to the intent behind it. However...I have had to warn people who are that way inclined not to do it because my first reaction on being surprised is usually to...
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    Ptsd And Religion/ Spirituality

    I'm strongly religious, which is unusual enough in my part of the world where athiests are a majority but even more unusual considering I'm not a member of any of the more common religions here. Anywho, I don't hate my Gods for the things that have happened to me; I voluntarily put myself in...
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