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As I continue to feel better, I feel like I am changing. I feel uncomfortable with this feeling because I am not holding on to certain behaviors. I have been holding on to pain for six years. I feel like I am not holding on to the pain as much, but I don't know if I am getting better by doing...

Thanks for the response Maddog. I am glad that we have both shared similar experiences and we both can learn from them. As you have stated, there are some that still want to be in a relationship even if unfavorable things did happen. However, I don't think the remaining relationships will be...

Yeah, the people that caused a lot of the harm said it... Just a form of trying to cover up their dirty ways.

Thanks for the response. In the second paragraph, I said, " I feel like if I'm not attached to pain, then the people I had difficult situations with will not have their justice. Inversely, I feel like if I do let go of the guilt and the people still hate me or don't like me, that it is wrong for...

I'm starting to realize that a lot of my depression is because of guilt. Recently, my feelings of guilt have been lifting. My therapist and my friends both tell me that I beat myself up. However, it seems like that's how I function now. I made mistakes six years ago and I still hold on to the...

I've been praying recently. I'm starting feel like I'm worthy of reconnecting with God again. Maybe it's that guilt is lifting. My desire to hold on to pain is lowering. There are many positive approaches. Personally, I'm trying to not hold on to the pain anymore.

I try my best. It's so painful. To maintain my sanity, I have to have a level of isolation. You're right. It shouldn't last forever. It seems like the only thing I can be is patient.

I don't know if anyone feels this way, but it's like there is something that needs to be taken care of inside. There's some aspect of myself that just feels wrong. I wish that I could make this aspect right. This aspect keeps me isolated from people. It makes me feel dizzy when I am getting...

For me, it's being able to properly process my emotions. I probably have a lot of pent up frustration, and instead of flipping out in a maniacal fashion, I hold in my pain which leads to chronic depression. Dissociation is probably the only option you have until you're able to work out your issue.

These emotions have to be released or I'm doomed. Finding a way to release them are so hard.

Even though I have been feeling better recently, I still haven't got over the "dead" feeling... like the average person is alive and I'm dead. It literally feels like I'm a dead person. I don't know if it's because I don't want to be completely reinvolved in life because of how bad it can be so...

Yes... A challenge for me will be continuing to let my emotions out to my therapist. My concern is that I don't want to psychologically damage him. Please continue... You can feel better.

Yes, I understand. I have not directed my anger at the abuser because it would be revenge. However, I'm working on finding a way of "walking it off" and cooling my head. I don't want to go the revenge route, but I've had internal anger and frustration for six years.

I can understand where you are coming from. It seems like I don't want to be attached to the belief of what happened. However, if I'm not attached to the belief, the problem might happen again. I think the more I understand the problem, I'll be confident in that area.

Today, I had a therapy session and it feel like I opened up. My therapist told me that I am opening up more. However, the more I open up, the more anger gets released. What I said today was pretty hardcore. During the conversation, I let my emotions go and spoke what I felt. What I said was...

Thank you very much Bone Gryphon. I'm glad that you are doing better. That's the approach I'm taking right now... medication and therapy. I'm looking forward to going back to college and finishing my degree. Stability is definitely a huge factor.

Me too. Glad you're feeling happy. I can feel the holiday spirit. I'm starting to realize that I have to get over my father's passing. I don't know how I will, but I can't continue living like this. Life has too much to offer.

I have been on Prozac for about six weeks. My mood elevates every time I take it. However, I am now starting to notice a feeling. As I'm feeling better, I'm feeling dizzier. It's like I'm trying to use certain parts of my brain and it feels weird. I'm feel like I'm reconnecting to parts that...

PTSD might increase the feeling of paranoia. I think it's normal to doubt feeling happier. As I feel better, I actually have a dizzy feeling. It's like I'm trying to reconnect to something alien.

New gamma rays, I know exactly where you are coming from. I constantly wonder if I'll ever be able to do the things I use to do without going through pain or shunning away. What's helping me the most is an antidepressant. It's actually battling the negative feelings. I'll look more into Undoing...

Thanks Lady Vet. I'll focus on the good things in life. My heart is slowly beginning to beat.

I know that I'll make mistakes, I just hope that I don't make big mistakes. When I had my breakdown six years ago, I consider something similar to a Britney Spears or Owen Wilson moment. I don't ever want to have one of those again. Just thinking about the possibility of it happening again makes...

It's hard to forgive when I'm concerned that I'll make mistakes again (even though I am pretty sure that I won't).

I'll try my best. This forum is good to be a part of along the journey :)

timid_flower, yes I feel like I'm still being punished from my past mistakes. Lady, me feeling rejection from people is something that can be hard for me to handle. If I get reinvolved, I'll have to deal with that drama again. I had the perfect opportunity in the past. I could have went out...