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is this the first time he's hit you? and have you spoken to your doc re: your psychotic symptoms and social anxiety? that's where i'd start. wishing you well.

I have the same thing: chronic fatigue syndrome. as snafu said there's no help for it, so it doesn't reallly matter if you see a doc or not. some of us have had some help with antivirals, etc, but there is no full recovery. not sure if connection with ptsd either, besides the general poor...

I think I'm supposed to respond to this why read that post as disrespectful when it clearly isn't? but let's be honest, this is what's really offending you. why are you picking on someone who has been forced to grapple with the same situation without your own resources? I find that...

thanks to everyone who wrote. I'm grappling with the fact that I don't really know what happened. several years all seem like a blur. I remember vaguely a day I visited the emergency room for a migraine, and not having any medication for it because I didn't know I didn't have to visit the doc...

really? in a lot of ways I feel like my lack of supportive relationships (and inability to engage in them) is at least partially responsible for my chronic feelings of being rundown, needing solitude & solace. I don't think anything good came out of the abuse: it screwed up my body and my...

what did you have? they tried to gaslight me too, it was terrible. my immune system is in the toilet as well, I assume it's some epigenetic consequence of growing up under severe stress, or maybe endorcrine burnout. I never believed them tho, just was too sick and didn't have the resources to...

wow! how did they get away with that?! glad to be speaking to someone who can relate.

I think I've finally realized why I resent kids so much. I think for a lot of people childhood is a time of easy narcissism, a chance to be loved and adored by parents looking for an excuse to live vicariously thru someone else. in my family, it was about being terrorized by a mentally ill...

what are some of your friend's past abuses towards you?

thanks to all for the support. I am really not sure how to write about this as I don't really have access to all of what happened and I think I don't really want access. honestly at this point I'm not even sure that I have ptsd anymore: I don't tend to feel nervous, I'm not on edge, the only...

I'm clearly very not-not-rich then. looking forward to sequestration whenever that kicks in. how nice it must be to be able to treat your medical and psychological problems!

I have three things to talk about: 1. getting the shit beaten out of me as a kid thanks to mentally ill mom. 2. coming down with severe ME, going without food heat and medicine, and having the shit simultaneously beat out of me. 3. never, ever, ever being believed. docs think that the fatigue...

@Chava, that's hilarious! as if! therapy is for rich people. so, apparently, is seeing the doc.

spent three years being bedridden barely able to cook, clean, run errands, often not able to at all. was abused thru a period of this time. I'm going on nearly a decade of being sick, and it's had a profound impact on my life, and yet there are entire years which are gone for me; I am unable...

@fogshots, the entirety of mommie dearest had me mesmerized. my mom never cared abt my intellectual or emotional development although as a child I showed signs of intellectual giftedness. of course the child abuse has taken care of most of that, but that which remains seems to exist just to...

I think this is the right one, and it's other people who don't want to see the truth. the trauma is there tho; comparable images to what I knew throw me into a numb, traumatized funk. my mind and body won't let me forget.

an unfortunate cross between Faye Dunaway from mommie dearest and Mo'nique from Precious. can't tell if narcissistic, sociopathic, bipolar, borderline. definitely deeply troubled, self-absorbed, lacking in empathy, w/ psychotic features. not sure if the 'psychotic' outbursts were abt control...

@WildMermaid it feels neither, but I think I need to be there with the feeling. it feels absolutely miserable but is over at last.

thanks everyone. my crying is 'in control' so to speak what's worse are the memories. a lot of things which I regret despite not my fault. sry to hear abt the violence at work ladyghost, I have been there too. :0

these past few days I have found myself in a depressive hole of sorts although it seems to be aided by frequent crying spells and baths. do we just have to wait for these feelings to pass? after spending the last couple of days resting I'm slowly starting to come thru this funk. do y'all have...

I wonder what it is, this need to feel something. I used to ride my racing bike very fast in the middle of the night, and sometimes I listen to music very loud. I used to date random guys just for the thrill, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea anymore. I'm good at managing risk, so I...

I had many, many teachers like this growing up, and I think that this definitely contributed to my own problems. I enjoyed reading your post as it helped me think back a little on my own experience at school. It's hard to talk about abusive teachers. Not many people seem willing to engage in...