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I. Am. So. Tired. Ok, so maybe my friend has some hoarding tendencies. But she also has sensory issues and because of that she gave me about 10 trash bags full of practically new clothes that she wore once or twice then decided they bothered her too much. Same with shoes, I came home with 3...

I’m going to help a friend clean and organize her house today. This wasn’t possible before I started taking Neltrexone. It’s been a miracle drug for me! I’m not looking forward to it much but I’m glad I’m capable today of leaving my house and being productive. Being on disability leaves a...

Apples

My online university classes start Monday so I’m able to preview them on blackboard. One is a 300 level Bible class on Romans and the other is a 400 level Theology class so I should enjoy them. Looks like a lot of research and writing but that is my strength so I should be fine. It’s my first...

All I can think about is “he hurt me” “he did that to me” “nobody helped me”. I can’t get those phrases to stop looping in my head. I’ve never been that child. It’s always been about my parts. It’s never been me before. I feel so broken that this revelation evokes no emotions in me. Not...

Ok, I’m totally following you now but I had to read that 3 times lol! At first I thought how does she get that and doesn’t it stink! Haha my brain is mush after EMDR. I actually really like your way too. I might try something similar!

I love this. Thank you for sharing! It’s encouraging to know things can get better and the parts be able to help.

I’m glad you have good coping skills. I’m still working on that. I need to build some functioning skills for in between sessions. I waste a lot of time just sitting on my porch rocking. It’s nice for a time but it turns into hours a day as a way to escape how I feel. I don’t really have...

Yes! I have a treasure chest with chains wrapped around it with lock and key and we sink it the bottom of the ocean then at the start of next session we haul it up with a crane. It has worked surprisingly well! ?

Today’s session was really hard, but I’m thankful that I made a little progress. We started working on this memory 3 sessions ago and finally today the little girl being hurt had a face. And at some point my language changed from using she and her to me and I. I’ve never been able to...

Ok, this is harder than I thought it was going to be. Normally I go to church on Wednesday nights but I just can’t bring myself to go tonight. I’m going to have to come up with a plan for better self care for the day after EMDR sessions. I’m not sure if staying home or going is better self...

I’ve been thinking about the body memories. It all happened so fast and I realize today that they came on really strong and I had the thought “here we go, this is body memories from processing” and I felt it for about five more seconds and then I have no more memory of what happened. So, I...

I dreamed about my mom and brother last night but thankfully it wasn’t a nightmare. Probably my brain trying to finish processing my session. So far I feel okay today. When I was trying to fall asleep last night I had some body memories that were intense but I was able to remind myself that...

I'm thinking that I just post here and come back and add to this post for each new entry. If that is not correct, someone please direct me to the right way to do this :) I'm finding EMDR exhausting. I came home and took a three hour nap and still didn't really want to wake up. We started...

It does suck. I wanted to feel so badly but now, usually the day after an EMDR session I’m questioning my sanity lol. I’m ultimately thankful for the opportunity but I’m starting to feel some anger that EMDR is even necessary.

@Rumors I am also not someone who really cries, however I have cried a little as the years have ticked by. Not buckets, but a tear here and there which is pretty HUGE for me. Mostly, I had this dreadful feeling of loneliness which was deafening to my emotions. I’m not able to cry, that is one...

I’ve recently started EMDR and we are going super slow because I have DID. I’m taking Naltrexone so I don’t dissociate right now, but I don’t necessarily have any coping skills to replace what the parts have always done for me. So, we are moving super slow and it seems to be going well. I tried...

Yes, it’s so hard with parts. I found it helped to encourage my little parts to do something while t was away that would make my t proud of them when we had our next session. It seemed to settle them some and became a surprise they planned for t. I don’t know if it ever gets easier. It has...

It sounds like you made a very difficult but healthy choice. I’m sorry you had to be in that situation. Sounds like your t had bad boundaries and you did what was best for you. I had a t with bad boundaries a couple years ago and unfortunately it took me two years to be willing to try again...

I started Naltrexone about a month ago and it 100% keeps me from dissociating so far. It was a little hard for me at first because I felt like I had abandoned my parts but it is very helpful. I’m able to do EMDR with the dissociation under control. It’s been a miracle drug for me.