Search results

@Friday - loved your earlier explanation. When my vet is triggered he is clearly an adult, highly trained, very responsible Company Sergeant Major. Therefore he verbally abuses the hell out of whomever is around him to make what he feels needs to happen happens right f*cking now goddammit. Is...

For me personally, the line is waaaaay back over there behind me. These days I can barely see it. I'm the boiling frog. The abuse started slowly and increased slowly and now I'm so used to it that it takes someone else pointing it out for me to realise it. :oops:

@shimmerz - unfortunately it leads to meltdowns and blowups on a regular basis! Last night we had been talking about Dressage Tests and I had said I would dig out some of my old scores so he could see how they are marked. Then he said "Have you got out those reports?" so I went and got the...

Oh lordy! One of my vet's triggers is miscommunication. As in - if coms are not clear then people die. BUT due to his PTSD (and judging from the scars on his head several undiagnosed TBIs) he also loses words so I get a lot of "Pass me the doohickey" or "Can you make sure you tell Old Mate...

Bleugh! I want a partner not an opponent!

You're 21. You are entitled to your own life with your partner. It is not your responsibility to "fix" your mother or care for your mother. She has to help herself. Hugs if you accept them. (PS - I am the daughter of a combat veteran with PTSD and now the partner of a combat veteran with...

Sorry to hear you're hurting. Hugs if you accept them.

He may not be responsible for the fact that he has PTSD but the fact that it is untreated and therefore unmanaged is on him.

Hahaha! @Dergrosse - my vet refers to those things as "cheap leadership tricks" - usually while bitching about how slack the civilians are and how he has to treat them like spoilt children. He complains that he can "no longer make the planets align" because the civilian world won't allow him...

The harder you pursue the harder he will push to get some space.

Not really. I have never ever seen any group of civilians act in the same efficient, focused, punctual way as a group of soldiers (or ex soldiers). Can individual civilians be punctual? Sure. Efficient? Sure. Communicate clearly? Sure. But put two or more of them together and all of a...

Please be wary of taking on the "saviour" role. Its impossible. You cannot "cure" your vet's PTSD. Trying can suck the life out of you to the point that your mental health suffers. By all means, love him, support him and help him. But just be careful with your own sense of self and your...

It sounds like you (and your husband) have been dealing with undiagnosed and therefore untreated PTSD for a couple of years. That's hell on wheels. Now that you have been diagnosed are you receiving professional help? Can you, or your therapist, reach out to your husband to try to explain to...

I wish my veteran was that predictable. Depending on a whole heap of other things (like whether its an anniversary of an event - which half the time he doesn't realise until AFTER the fact - or whether he had a nightmare last night, or whether there is a smell in the air which is causing a...

@EveHarrington - Instead of constantly requiring supporters to be mind readers maybe try writing notes in your phone about how much we do for you and review them every day. Sorry - couldn't help the snark this morning after a particularly difficult weekend. Believe it or not, we run out of...

@Florian7051 - you guys do such a good job of faking ‘normal’ that it’s easy for us to forget that you’re faking. It’s taken me 5 years to really understand that my vet’s level of functioning is similar to yours so if he manages to do a load of laundry while I’m at work that is a big achievement...

Sigh! Yep. Its not that unusual. I don't know if its psychopathy - more likely the push/pull of PTSD. He wants to be close, he wants a relationship with you, so he pursues you (and how!) but once you become close, that frightens the hell out of him and he bails. Vent away. There are many...

Does he have PTSD? Are you supporting him? What did he do to make you so mad?

Beautiful. I love the metaphor of the tide and the shore. I know how strongly I feel the pull of the tide when my veteran retreats and how much of myself I have thrown into the waves of his PTSD. Sigh!

I just wondered because to me at least, you are coming across as.. well... snarky. The "terminology" used here is - like all jargon - a shorthand way to explain situations. Telling us all to "do something new" kinda sounds a little like 'can't you lot just get over it' and asking @Freida...

@wildwumon - do you have PTSD? do you love or support someone who does? What are you seeking to gain from this forum?

@Rugby02 - I managed to work it into conversation with my vet last night and his view was hiking with a bunch of vets sounded good. Its hiking with a bunch of civvies he's not interested in. So that was kinda revealing. ;) Apparently he can cope with the physical pain - its the mental...

I don't mean to be Negative Nancy here, but most infantry veterans have done more hikes than they've had hot dinners. Their shoulder, backs, hips and knees are often damaged from carrying 60kg packs on 80km forced marches. Not really sure they'd want to do any more hiking. I could be totally...

Unfortunately, you can’t schedule isolation. In my experience it always seems to happen at the worst possible times. It never happens when I will be away anyway – usually happens the moment I come back. He has literally walked out the back door of the house as I’m walking in the front door after...

Can we all take a deep breath around the use of the word ‘normal’? My view is that it is ‘normal’ to develop PTSD in response to a category A trauma. In other words, it is not because of any weakness or fault of the sufferer. That does not mean that PTSD does not severely impair a person’s...