Search results

I just finished reading "The Body Keeps the Score". That book was definitely enlightening. If nothing else, it made me feel more normal in my feelings and behaviors based on my childhood experiences. Towards the end, he talked about a type of therapy that had people role play the...

I was at least a little productive today but not like I should have been. Guess I'll be working this evening. I'm still thinking about yesterday's therapy session. I'm trying to take credit for the parts of the letter I did go through but I'm pretty angry and ashamed about the parts I just...

So, went to group tonight. It was okay. We discussed grounding techniques. Most people weren't really into it. We talked smack about football a bit and I talked about some random things. I was so tired. My brain just couldn't do more therapy after the session earlier today. My next...

Today did not go at all as I thought it would. My T did not read my letter. I was surprised and he stated that until I gave him explicit permission to read what I wrote, he would not read it. The way he was acting, I thought for sure that he had read it. I did chicken out on the great...

Finished X's group for the week. Next up is the big appointment tomorrow. Tonight at the IOP grad group, we talked about coping strategies. I talked a bit about my box but got some good ideas on how to create a travel sized option for when my life isn't lived solely within my four walls...

@ladee , I don't like myself a whole lot. I want to but I just don't really see the good. I'm trying. It doesn't help that I not only have a lot of things come easily to me and this doesn't but also that I have no compassion or patience for myself. I hope in time that I can learn those skills.

@ladee , the thought occurred to me after I wrote that. I know a common problem I have is being way more critical on myself than anyone else would ever remotely be. The problem is that I deeply love my students but I deeply hate myself. I have endless patience and kindness for them and none...

My third period class broke me to tears today. I was teaching them something new- substitution method for systems of equations. Most students struggle with it- I've seen that year after year. This class was really trying to get it though. They were genuinely trying to do the work. We were...

It's Sunday night and, although I did get some schoolwork done today, I am not at all prepared to go back to work tomorrow. Ugh. No snow days this year either. Luckily there is at least a long weekend coming up soon. Yay! But this is heading into that awful time of the school year where...

I drove over to L's house yesterday and visited with her for awhile. I got to pet all three of her dogs. I brought her a container of cookies and she sent me home with an even bigger one. It was good to see her. I played games with friends last night. It started out okay but eventually more...

Was determined to get things done today but accomplished nothing. I woke up really late and was super lazy. Hopefully I will do better over the weekend. Tomorrow I am going to go to visit L and then play games with friends to ring in the new year. Winter break went by quickly this year...

Tonight was my T's group. He tried to get us to talk about SMART goals but the group wasn't having it. We ended up talking about our Christmas experiences and talking about family dysfunction. Basically, the whole group had something to say on this. One of the other members talked about how...

Tonight's IOP group hit me hard. It was an excellent conversation but a really difficult one. Tonight's topic was on suicide attempts. One of the other people is coming up on her one year anniversary of her attempt and wasn't sure how to feel about it. I opened up a lot about my second...

Well, today was my fourth wedding anniversary. The husband creature went out and picked up some takeaway food for us. It was a subdued but lovely evening. I did another video visit with my sister-in-law today and this time she was at my mom's house. My little niece was awake this time and...

Today should have been a good day. I spoke to my brother and his family. My niece was particularly sociable, which is rare when she speaks to me. My guitar lesson went better than expected since I didn't practice this past week. I played Among Us with friends for a few hours. Overall, it...

Overall today was an okay day. My husband got me a 32 inch SMART TV to mount on my office wall so that I can have a fourth monitor hooked up to my computer but can also watch TV on it if I so choose to. I feel like it's too extravagant for me to have it. I'd like him to return it butt he...

@ms spock , thank you. I hope you have a lovely day.

Another good day overall. I got nothing productive done today, which is not so good, but I continued to work on my calming box. I ordered more crafting supplies on Amazon to have the right tools for the job. I played Among Us with my students. It was fun but more importantly, some of the...

Lots of positive things today. First, I've been really working on my calming box. It involves glitter and rhinestones. I forgot how much I enjoy crafting. Perhaps I should get some crafting kits to do when I start EMDR. I have paint by number kits (yes, plural) that I have never done and...

My new temporary T challenged me to an artistic project as my homework. I was supposed to create a heart map. I have no idea if I did this right but I feel like, with my limited artistic capabilities, this is a reasonable representation of what I feel like my heart looks like.

Went to the IOP group tonight. I'm a little shaky from it. We talked about journaling and different ways to journal. I think I do a combination of a brain/heart dump and just stream of consciousness on here. Sometimes I'm just typing and things come out that I wasn't even aware were circling...

Went over to my in-law's house tonight. It was okay for the most part. I got doggy snuggles, so that's always a win. Made some progress in listening to "The Body Keeps the Score" today. It's hard to hear the information in the book but it also explains some of my behaviors and thought...

I feel like I get blamed a lot for things that aren't my fault too. The truth is, many people in the world don't want to own up to their own wrongs and are looking for someone else to blame. I myself am an easy target because I have this compulsive need to take responsibility for what I did...

I get this 100%. I actually made the conscious choice years ago not to have children because I was worried that my mother would show that she could love, that she had the capacity, children just not me. I never had children as a result of this thinking from way back when I was rather young but...

@mumstheword , the therapy thing won't resolve until January 5. A part of me feels like I blew it by writing the letter but I also know that I was just trying to use my voice. So as much as I feel like I screwed everything up, the truth is that therapy is not meeting my needs currently and, as...