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Thank you @jess_trustno1 . At least I know I'm not the only one going through this. It is SO surreal. I guess I've waited years for this day and thought about what it would feel like, and I never thought this. "Easier said than done," is right.

So I'm officially graduating from undergrad. My commencement ceremony is tomorrow. For the most part I'm excited. It's been a long road with two kids, two jobs...and going to school that's 70 miles away in a program that requires 20-30 hours a week of clinic on top of regular class time and of...

Did you know that a majority of psych programs require, or at very least, highly recommend receiving therapy while you're in school. Partially because it's stressful obviously, to hear some pretty bad things about other peoples' life and then not let it bother you, but also because it helps them...

Talked to my therapist about it today. He did not say anything specific. I did not work up the courage to ask specifically about bipolar. Working up the courage to ask in general was hard enough. He basically said he isn't sure about it. It could be PTSD, it could be anxiety, it could just be...

@Speak - I like your ideas. I may try to do something like that. It is difficult to get time alone like that with two children though. I have experience with clonidine. Not in myself, but my son takes it due to some issues he has and a boy I used to watch took it as well. I would think it could...

This is exactly where I felt it may not be PTSD: the "planning" on staying up all night. It's isn't like I really want to, but at the same time I just know sleep won't happen, so why try? Thanks, that helps to know that others do this. The only part of bipolar that doesn't make sense to me, and...

Oh my gosh! EXACTLY! The more the better right now. I'll be up for 40 some hours, and all I want to go do is run 5 miles, or roller blade for hours, or play a hockey game. I mean I literally can't sit still. I have less energy when I do get sleep, which is still only a couple hours (max) at a...

Sometimes I have extreme difficulty sleeping. I know difficulty sleeping is common with PTSD, I've had PTSD for 10ish years, I've slept terrible since before that, but for reasons I blamed on the PTSD since the time I can remember having it. However, there are some times, more so in the last...

Oh yeah...definitely agree!

I was SO afraid to have a flashback at therapy. This is my first time in therapy voluntarily, and it was one of my biggest fears to have a flashback in front of him. Well, it happened today. It's only the 5th appointment, but we have talked about my past and trauma. Mostly through email...

I felt the same way yesterday. I'm a little better today. At least I'm getting a few things done. Hope you feel better soon.

Sounds like a bad dynamic to me as well. Fear and anger and the sorts of reactions it sounds like she gives you would push me to harm myself more. My T does not have these reactions when I tell him about my self harm. It's something he wants to work on, and he has made known that he doesn't...

Before I was with my fiance' almost 7 years ago, I was "one-nighting" it with a lot of guys so that I had somewhere to stay. All I can say is that I didn't care about these guys at all, and although I'd still have bad dreams sometimes...I never had any dissociation problems or anything with...

I'm 24 with two kids, and been with my fiance' for 7 years. I still worry about this every day! I do feel older than anyone around me, and I think that's because I had to grow up so fast, but also because at 24 I'm in a very different life situation than most of my college-aged peers. I don't...

@zaniara - "Cornered" is a good way to describe it, but I'm not sure that was all I was feeling. He has been very open about it, in the sense that he's made it known that he's against it, but he's also accepted the fact that it isn't something I'm just going to be able to stop in a day. I'm not...

It's not like he's just from some random place, it was through my school. They have a program for identifying students who may need help without actually making them reveal who they are first. The invitation to fill out the survey, that was connected to the messaging system came to my school...

You are very right there. I can tell you that it isn't as bad as you're thinking. I can also say that at least for me, I've definitely had the it gets worse before it gets better problem. After two appointments, I'm going back for a third though. You can try to find someone you can email online...

2nd appointment....not doing so well after. I'm still not out of it and its been more than 24 hours. We talked about my "other" trauma. How ridiculous does it sound to just keep labeling things and your first trauma, then your other trauma...then the trauma after your other trauma...etc, etc...

Alright...if you could sound ANYMORE like me, I'd think you were me! I've been doing the, do I go to therapy do I not go to therapy thing for 10 years. I know exactly what you mean by making it seem "real" then, and like you're broken. I can't speak as to how it works, because I've officially...

I don't want to make you think things you weren't maybe already thinking, and possibly worry you more. Is there any way you dissociated and forgot what actually happened? Like something traumatic occurred that caused your trauma, and because its too painful, you don't remember? It's not...

How in the world did you accomplish all that damage in your sleep? I'm not a good person to be asking about diagnosis. I'm not sure your trauma would "count" for the current standards applied to being diagnosed with PTSD, but I'm unsure...I'm not a psychiatrist either. In any event it sounds...

Right?!? I'm actually afraid of what I would do with more free time, probably think more about my trauma which is not something I want, so I keep busy. I really hope so. Right now it seriously is like my brain has a mind of its own, and the rest of my body follows that brain, not the one I...

@Justmehere - are you saying you just do them randomly, like all day? Or that you know you will get anxious, so you do them proactively? Either way they both sound like they could work, I was just wondering what you were suggesting. I could definitely try to work some time in where I just do...

@desiderata310 - After writing that, I've been thinking about it too. I do have a couple hours before my class afterwards, but I'm questioning it as well. There's no way I'd ever be able to make an appointment when I have nothing going on after. It'd be nice, but my life is just too crazy for...

Wow just read parts of this thread. I hope she finds help and stops abusing people...but WOW! Definitely understand the situation a little more from when I was temporarily banned, and why it happened so quickly with very little investigation. I'm surprised she got as far as she did. Thanks guys...