Search results

@anthony - Believe me, I've been doing everything to channel it in productive ways (lifting weights, hobbies, throwing myself into my work etc). I will try yelling at a tree. Though the trees around here aren't very big so I'm liable to take one down with my screaming :p It's not like I'm...

@Sweetpea76 - I am hoping he gets some intensive treatment soon. He's finally open to getting some real help. I think this past week was a huge wake-up call. Totally sucks how it all came about. UGH. I am exhausted. Emotionally, psychologically, spiritually exhausted. I'm running on fumes to...

@Momofthree - No doubt I am cautiously thrilled that he admitted himself in. All year long he's had opportunities to get further assessed or consults with psychiatrists but he just hasn't been able to follow through. At first I was pissed at him for missing these opportunities. Then I realized...

NONE OF THIS WAS YOUR FAULT!!! You are a victim of sexual abuse. You are not obliged to want to have sex with any woman. It is in no way any indication of your sexual orientation. Glad to hear that you shared with your girlfriend and she supports you. Take care.

Frack!! Don't know where to keep my anger. He self-admitted into the ER early this morning. Just got a call from the doctor. They're going to keep him there for psychiatric evaluation. I've been wanting this to happen for a year. I'm relieved that we might actually be getting some real help...

Hiya!! I'm a sometimes impatient and sarcastic and irritable and unhelpful supporter too!! :p We all try our best. It's all we can expect from ourselves. We're not robots, we f*ck up. We get burned out. When we know better, we do better. But we can punish ourselves for what we did not know...

Rule #1 - Never seek validation from family regarding trauma. Sorry, I'm being snotty. But so far it's proven itself true for me. My husband has PTSD. This weekend he finally shared some of the trauma he endured to his father and sister. His dad was detached and both were dismissive and his...

When my husband doesn't want me to touch him it is not a matter of him not feeling 'safe' but from a state where he's afraid any unexpected physical contact from me may lead him to punch me. There might be some variations of touch that he is more comfortable at different times. When my...

Hi @Lemontree Sometimes my brain goes into spiralling downward avenues of thinking that trap me in anxiety. Some of the thinking traps that I often deal with: Catastrophizing - going straight to the worse case scenario beyond reason. I'm really good at this. I can go from "Damn, that email I...

Yesterday - Lift heavy shit. Well, kinda heavy shit. It's my deloading week...in so many ways :p

@The Albatross - Lucky red envelopes usually go to children and younger single adults. They are given in other times like birthdays, weddings.

Thank you all. I am learning so much reading through this thread. My husbands hyper vigilance is debilitating. He is always 'on'. He can't sleep because of the smallest sounds outside the house. When we first started dating, he always needed to sit with his back to the wall and facing the rest...

I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated and lonely and unappreciated :hug: My husband has periods where he can't even make eye contact with me. He don't know if he realizes this. On a intellectual level, I know he's doing what he can to get through that very moment, that hour, that day. But on a...

There're gifts??!? All we ever got as kids was money in red envelopes!! LOL! I would go with food. We love food. Is there an asian grocery store nearby? They often have nice gift baskets of a selection of candies or fruit. Mandarin oranges are big because they symbols of good fortune (they're...

@Sweetpea76 - If he was dealing with a hysterical pregnancy he would much more explaining to do.... :) Thanks for your supportive words.

@Solara - I can totally appreciate that you would need to reach out to other people to confide in. I can understand that he doesn't want to burden me with his struggles all the time. I can also understand that there are aspects of his trauma that he is not ready to talk to me about because I'm...

@anthony & @Momofthree , thank you for calling out the unsolicited and unhelpful 'diagnosis'. It's reassuring that I'm on a board that moderates in such a balanced and healthy manner.

That made me chuckle for the first time in days. Thanks :p Yeah, you're right that's his choice. I can't do anything if he chooses to continue trashing my trust. In an ideal world, he would provide these acts of trust-building because he actually wants to and understands their importance to...

@camabelu - Thank you. I am amazed at the compassion I've found here. I felt so petty and desperate for asking to see proof that he's called it off. I felt so small, begging for a sign that it really was over. When he refused I asked why he wouldn't show me and he responds with "my dignity"...

@FridayJones - Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. That!!! That freaking hits home!! I was sickened by her comment. You're not the only one that had violent thoughts upon hearing that. It haunts me that the rest of their communications might involved similar manipulations which...

Thanks @chicken sammich. This pain is all so fresh and raw. I'm afraid to go into couple counselling right now. I'm afraid I will just spew all that rage out there and hurt and trigger him. I am looking into counselling for myself. At the very least, my work as an employee assistance program. <3

Thank you everybody. I'm crying here just reading your supportive comments.

They are the best!!

This is so f*cking hard. I don't know what I want to hear back. I just want somewhere to park all this darkness. tl:dr - My husband cheated on me and I don't f*cking know I to deal with it. My husband is a PTSD sufferer. I am doing everything I can, being there for him, supporting and...

Scout86 - Thanks for your support. I know. That's what I tell everybody else. To take care of themselves first. I so suck at taking my own advice :p I will think about finding my own supports and therapy. Just reaching out to this group is kinda scary. Even though I have been part of other...