Relationship Relationships And Its A Touchy Question?

[still_i_rise]

When my husband doesn't want me to touch him it is not a matter of him not feeling 'safe' but from a state where he's afraid any unexpected physical contact from me may lead him to punch me.

There might be some variations of touch that he is more comfortable at different times.
When my husband is okay with holding hands, he's usually only okay with having his hand around my fist. He hates having our fingers interlocked. No escape.
Other times he can't handle holding hands at all.

 

[emz315]

I notice at times even from the beggining he just wasnt that affectionate and at other times he was all over me.....he hates it and trys to fight against it...even when it came to intimacy sometimes it felt like it was his first time then finally relaxed. Other times nothing was stopping him.;)

 

[Sighs]

As hard as it is, I find the best thing is to wait until he initiates physical contact. If I try and give him a kiss hello I'm likely to get the kind of peck on the cheek you give your grandma. If I don't initiate it after I've been home about 15 minutes he will give me a proper kiss and cuddle hello.

 

[emz315]

@Sighs ...omg thats what i have been getting a kiss on a cheek ..and nothing more right now...i dont live with him so its hard when thats all im getting on the sundays when i see him :( but i dont want to push anything and i am asking permission for a cuddle most times.

 

[Sweetpea76]

There might be some variations of touch that he is more comfortable at different times.

When my vet is on edge he cannot take light or rapid movements. For instance, I went to scratch his back in circular motion like I do with my kids, and he almost crawled straight across the ceiling. Instead he prefers a solid non-moving hand on his back. It is more grounding and calming, and less... irritating.