New in my life due to medical treatment

[lunamasri]

I have and still am spending an inordinate amount of time online with banking payments calls customer service issues where the company- walmart Verizon was in wrong got nm atty general involved and sutuatuon was corrected. I am not a victim but I am worn out. Going in a store frankly just bucks. These issues take time away from things I want need to do. Just venting and it helps.

Sorry if I misread but I think you said your husband served in Iraq. For my work I spend time in high conflict regions and know many who were in Iraq at the time. Regarding your husband in Iraq, it might not just be the physical injury that he suffered from there but also mental. I know you mentioned PTSD. But from speaking and working with many Iraq veterans many of them suffer intense feelings of guilt or shame. Some its remorse but for many they feel they were sent to an unjust war and have seen the consequences of this war throughout the world. Michael Prysner is a famous example if you've heard of him. Forgive me if im overstepping but for my work I studied religion and focused on conflict zones such as Iraq, etc. I understand that his doomsday beliefs are hard to shake because like you mentioned everytime you turn on news you see something that could confirm his beliefs. Maybe you can feel some peace knowing what scriptures say regarding "end times" and why the "righteous" need not to prepare or hide. You mentioned you go to Church I thought this passage would be helpful to you as I deeply studied its meaning at uni. "Then the kings of the earth, the nobles, the military commanders, the rich, the powerful, and every slave and free person hid in the caves and among the rocks of the mountains. And they said to the mountains and to the rocks, 'Fall on us and hide us from the face of the One seated on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb..." — Revelation 6: 15-16
Of course the book of Revelation was written metaphorically filled with allegorical questions but if you want to read it literally, I think it will still give you some peace possibly...
I apologize if I overstepped in anyway regarding religion or your husband's service I hope something i said was helpful.

 

[KA60]

Thank you. Your post was helpful. I do understand shame and guilt remorse with ptsd. I have to process my own..yes I am spiritual like you raised as a christian..I have survivors guilt. I was am a codependent ..I got very ill caring for my first husband doing everything to keep him going. He died of course but I lived and recovered. I do not think I have moral injury. What I can't understand is my husband's flat out refusal that he has anything wrong or needs any type of help. I have had to do radical acceptance here. He was in the air force - para rescue- special forces..I think to myself at times now what have I done? Marrying this guy. He does not have any skills like I was taught. Wait. Stop. Etc..fight flight fee fawn management. Boundary setting? Hah hah. Working on things only He can control..

He really is a good man. Thank you