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Overly positive people make me suspicious. I just think, "get back to me when life happens to you". Is that bad?

I was told I have CPTSD. Anyone know how this differs from PTSD?

Church is certainly a trigger. I was raised in a cult.

I'm trying. It's a thing we discuss constantly. I feel them well up and I shove them back down and she calls me on it every time. I still can't get past the fear and feeling like shit about myself for showing that weakness.

I cyber stalk mine as well. She doesn't know. I'd be mortified.

I'm very hypervigilant. I won't even sit in the waiting room, I stand with my back to the wall in a corner and wait. I feel like a freak. I'm so reactive to any perceived danger.

I haven't told my T that I'm attracted to her. Not sure if it's transference or if I just have the host for her. Hots

I'm a lesbian, I'm terrified of males. My T is hetero married with kids. I chose her purposely and transference still happened. But it's not about what is true. I get that. I trust no men. I won't even give them a chance. Are there good men, sure. I'm not willing to find out which ones are.

I have a horrible time with the dentist. Ask about sedation.

I became lethal in 3 fighting styles after... My hope. That I will never again be a victim. I hope I'm right. Every tool you have makes you stronger.

I write. I find it hard to even write some words. My T says words have power and I need to use the ugly ones. I don't know yet how I feel about that.

I have a hard time crying. It feels like weakness. I hate it, it makes me hate myself, and makes me hate whoever helped illicit it or facilitated it. My T says it's normal and necessary. I can't seem to get there. Crying terrifies me and my T sees it as a victory of sorts. It causes a lot of...

My first T told me that therapy had to be as difficult as I needed it to be. I didn't understand that. But I've never gotten anything the easy way. Therapy is no different. I fight it every step with avoidance and anger. 2 steps forward, 1 step back.

My T asks me that probably every session. I feel like an idiot because I really don't know. Hang in there.

I see a Trauma therapist. She is wonderful. Cognitive therapy is hard. You need a therapist who knows what she's doing. I would drown without her.

Agreed. I get satisfaction when the perps get their due.

I wake up sometimes barricaded in my closet. Once I was holding my handgun. It scared me enough to get it out of the house for now.