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Well, the assessment went well. I think I will like this psychiatrist. He said it's going to take a few sessions to do a full assessment. He said he thought beyond the PTSD, that I might have Major Depression that's predating my PTSD, as well as an anxiety disorder. The depression I can see -...

Just off the top of my head, I don't know if this would be of any help - but we do have telehealth in Ontario, and that (I don't know where they're based) it might be less physically stressful. As for CPP, have you thought of applying for ODSP in conjunction (you can be on both at the same...

Just giving an update. Haven't been doing so well, waking up in anxiety attacks with dizziness. I don't really like to avoid things, but the anxiety is so pronounced without anything actively triggering it, that I haven't been able to do much more than make sure I eat something and rest. Today...

Merry Christmas. I'm off to go cook for 5 hours *grins ear to ear*. Any excuse to cook.

Thank you Tammy. I'm on disability now, and right now I can't work. That said, my future ability to work is quite plausible although asking a professional right now might be a little tricky as I'll be doing my intake with my new psychiatrist and not yet built up a working relationship. I will...

I'm trying to see the logic in working myself into a frenzy, putting my anxiety and stress levels through the roof and in all probability, crashing. For an exam? For a paper? It doesn't seem worth it to me. I love school, and I love learning, but this just seems ridiculous. Why would I force my...

Thanks, Tina. Needed to hear that. :) My focus isn't good right now, I don't think it helps that I'm supposed to be making 2 three course meals with desserts over the next two days. I'm trying not to beat myself up for this but I keep feeling like I should have known better, I know I didn't...

So, I got in touch with my professor about this class and the workload and ongoing problems. Unfortunately he needs the grades now, at the latest on the 27th of this month. I have one page out of the twenty done, and an exam to write all by then. I'm very stressed out. Recent stressors have...

*mini rant* I'm just heading off to bed now but today turned out to be one of those days. I got stood up at my intake appointment, I waited for 40 minutes and she never showed up. *sigh* Then I went home to find that my super's went in my apartment because of a "noise complaint about the dog...

Would like to chat over a cup of coffee/tea with a fellow sufferer. A. Lauren

Okay, for whatever reason today, I feel the desire to look at journals I wrote when my primary abuse was occurring. I don't know that it's the smartest thing, given that I'm trying to write a twenty page paper in the next few days and prepare for an exam as well but my mind wants to go there. *sigh*

reallydown, I'm close to being in your situation, I can reduce my courseload to two credits a term (40% of a full courseload) and still be eligible for government financial aid, but that's because my file says I'm disabled. I'm taking 60% now and have thought about reducing it further. Lisa...

Thank you for your responses. It helps to know I'm not alone. I think somewhere along the way I forgot what's been going on and how much those stressors really affect me (and how long they affect me). This by no means undermines the role of PTSD in my life, not am I able to say "Next semester...

Today is better, or at least right now I'm doing better (one moment at a time, I suppose). I think I can be clearer now about where I'm at and what I'm struggling with, the ins and outs of what's going on and what's not. In regards to therapy, well I think I'm done with the therapist who...

Hello everyone, I'm not doing so well. I feel like I'm losing a part of myself. Still struggling to complete anything academically, and I'm looking back on the past three years and seeing all but the same thing. It would be easy for me to say it was this or it was that. I know it hasn't been...

"Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.” - Tori Amos "You can only be you. A lot of times it's never enough for...

Update: I got a couple candles yesterday for the remembrance ritual I want to do, had a weekly checkup with my GP who is keeping a close eye on me and my health, as he knows when my stress levels get bad, my health conditions tend to follow. Yesterday was hard. My stalker was on the same bus...

I thought I might give you an update into how things are going. I've decided to have ritual of sorts. As I was not invited to the funeral, I don't feel that I've truly gotten to say goodbye, so I'm fashioning a small ritual where I can say goodbye to them. I know the term ritual may seem very...

Hi guys, I think I found that place where I feel emotionally barren - the wasteland where I’ve been trying to push myself away or through what's been going on for so long that I end up in the thick of it with no idea where to start. I haven't posted in a while and I should have - I've been...

Yup. *too tired to write anything else*

I'm not mentally able to write a long post, but I wanted to thank you for bringing this up - I'm definitely having trouble with my memory too. It's good to know I'm not alone and maybe share what works for keeping our sanity in tack while we work through it? It's driving me batty with midterms...

So, I'm going to a Tori Amos Concert tomorrow and this is a big deal. Her music has been a part of my healing for almost a decade now. It's seen me through some very dark periods, some happy places, and the many in between. I actually bought waterproof mascara just for the occasion. Oh, and...

So I'm seeing a counselor in the interim, and am setting up an appointment with my GP to get a referral to a psychiatrist. I still have no idea when my primary psychiatrist will be back and its getting harder. I suppose because he has been one of the few people in my life that I have trusted...

I have difficulty with ideas where the mind goes back to 'the way it was before' PTSD, as I don't have a frame of reference. I can't remember how I behaved when I was two, and I don't think I'd like to be like that again, lol. I don't know how the type and length of trauma endured would relate...

I've found that I tend to have a few close friends that I've had for years, a boyfriend who is still learning about what it means for me to live with PTSD, and that's about it. I find the more I am able to focus, in general, the easier it is to study and to maintain friendships. When my PTSD...