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It's happening again, although now it's a mini panic attack every hour. Just trying to weather the waves, but I feel so useless right now because I'm so behind in everything and have stuff I need to do by Wednesday. I don't know what else to do, because doing anything makes them worse but doing...

Thank you @Movingforward10 !! I’ll keep working on it!! ?

Thank you @Movingforward10 ! I've met people through writing accounts and such that have been awesome and not like that. I'm hoping to go to grad school for writing or at least do community writing events so maybe I can meet people through that! Or create my own local queer writing or...

@Movingforward10 to your last note, that's exactly how I felt, and that's how I was taught by my first boyfriend. Sex was all he wanted from me. I feel like I've made progress on that but it's flipped, like I can't do the sex thing at all. This I think is a narrative I'm stealing from the...

Hi @Movingforward10 thank you, I honestly don't know if I want one. I just feel like I'm supposed to a bit. Like I'm pressuring myself to and I can't still, which makes me feel weak. I think if I developed a relationship with someone over time, it may be different. I'm just worried that that's...

When I first started dating again after being in an abusive relationship that included multiple rapes I did it with a sort off blind abandon, whoever I could get to love me etc. I would have sex 3 dates in. This mimicked that 3 dates in I was sexually assaulted in my first relationship, and I...

I *JUST* realized that this week and last is a bunch of trauma anniversary dates. That's probably why! I think it's good I'm forgetting the dates but my body doesn't forget and kicks me into overdrive. Now I don't feel like I'm losing it anymore and know what I need to do to process it. And that...

@Friday Making art, writing, drawing, baths, taking walks. I did a lot of that today and feel much better. Having dinner w my parents (I live w them) was a stressor or at least has jacked up my anxiety again. Lots of triggers there, but I won’t get into that. Gonna do all the things I love and...

I think this is a big one for me, as well. I feel "not good enough" or judge every single thought I have. I practiced last night sort of self soothing when I had a thought that scared me instead of hating myself for it. It's like everything I do is just never good enough for that inner critic...

I tried everything to go to sleep tonight and be anxiety free. I meditated, did yoga, journaled for an hour, did visualization exercises, took cannabis oil (which usually puts me right to sleep), went to a cooler room, did some more stretches, did breathing exercises, took Benadryl. I'm still...

Thank you @dcb2410 for your openness. One thing I could never do is cheat. I’ve been on the other end and anytime I feel close to doing something like that I stop myself immediately. I won’t even talk to other people who see me romantically while I’m in a relationship. I feel guilty just...

It's still really bad, like my inner critic going on a rampage every time I do anything. I'm trying to recognize and change the thoughts though.

Something I've noticed a lot with my relationships, especially if I'm interested in someone romantically, is that I will get really anxious and clingy at first, and I used to just continue that way and eventually wear people out. Then, I decided, okay, I'll see when I'm being clingy and needy...

@Rainman8772 definitely struggling with re-instituting structure. I feel like I can't really make decisions about what to do with all this free time, and I either push myself too far or do nothing. Can't find that balance. I think having a summer class will help some!! it starts this week...

@Annalyn78 thank you! Yep it is, have had a lot of pain in my life but endo is the worst

@Annalyn78 they’re so hard to deal with! I’m on these to control endometriosis, and so far it’s helping some pain. Just feel like I fix one thing and break another lol.

thank you @Annalyn78 ! yeah it's probably likely that. I've been using some coping skills and letting myself rest I just struggle. still not sleeping that well, but also have way too much energy.

This month school ended and I've been getting increasingly anxious not having some semblance of structure. I also had to go into a hospital for unrelated medical treatment and I think it's starting to make me paranoid, it was sort of painful and I'm adjusting to new medication (hormones). I...

Thank you @lovelyladysarz that's really helpful! I think I have a budgeting app somewhere, but I'm VERY bad at it haha. I'll start practicing now! Thank you @Friday that's a very good point ?

Thank you @whiteraven!! I'm excited. So soon.

Hi @osiris thank you!! We'll have to see how this virus affects mortgage rates, I would love to buy my own place but I also feel uncertain about moving to a new location and immediately buying a house. I think maybe it's a bad idea to move so far away, but in my gut I know it's the right...

Hello all! I'm not sure if this should go here, but it's sort of related to employment and education?? please move if it's not in the right space. So, I am only ONE YEAR!! from graduating college. It's taken me six years, but I'm going to finish. There were times I didn't see the finish line...

my state is still on a stay at home order, but you wouldn't know it by the roads outside today. Just as busy as pre-virus. People not wearing masks everywhere. Nice weather = virus doesn't exist anymore. Maybe they were going on rides like me and my family, though, but I see people shirking the...

I'm sorry you're experiencing that. It's not a fun experience, and it doesn't feel good to not be able to stop while having sex. I can't tell you for sure if your flashback was a memory, but this is my personal experience. Most of my assaults (repeated rape from a boyfriend) were while I was...

it's even worse today, but I worked for almost 11 hours straight. I'm absolutely gone anxiety wise. just feel like barbed wire under my skin. but I am taking steps to make it better