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I wouldn't consider any of what you said "small steps." Opening up to your wife, getting in touch with your feelings, and allowing your wife in to that place in your life that is so private to you these are amazing steps, ones you should take great pride in. Kudos to you!! When I opened up to...

From how you describe things, and knowing what I do about my personality, I would send her the christmas card, along with a letter inside expressing what I wanted to say. I would go out of my way to be respectful in the letter, but make sure I got my point across as well. After that, I would...

Hi Wendy - I think this is a neat idea. I live just outside of Wilmington, DE, and I would really like to have a meet and greet with some local (to us) members. But either way, I am fairly close geographically speaking.

To tap into what The Albatross said, I too think it couldn't hurt to call your T in this interim period. I would try not to make it a daily habit, but I suspect (s)he would rather you call then start to slip backwards.

Yeah I agree with nursenurse - a simple "Thanks that's really kind of you!" sort of thing is what I try to do. I am also horrible at taking a compliment. I feel like if the person knew my back story they'd give me a restraining order instead of a compliment, so I try to be concise and smile. :)

@dead and gone - First off I'd like to welcome you here! This forum is an enormous help to me, whether I am either lurking or sharing. I truly am sorry for the mess you have to go through right now. That is an enormous amount of crap going on - enough to bring most anyone to their breaking...

Hey Reds. I too am sorry for what you are going through. A couple months' ago I was pretty down, and wrote the following. It was helpful for me to get it out, and I hope you will find it useful as well. I hope you are feeling better. ******************************* Once when I was about 15...

So I was in the hospital for the past few days. A lot of my PTSD revolves around trips to the hospital, and that pit in my stomach that forms when I find out I''m to be admitted (again). It's the same feeling of dread every time. So I am laying in bed, in a fairly decent amount of pain, and...

@Georgia- Welcome to the Forum! I hope you find it as helpful as I have the past few weeks. This site really has been a most welcome addition in my arsenal of tools when it comes to dealing with my PTSD, and being here has already shown some immediate results in my behaviors. Honestly I...

I used to have problems watching TV shows - it wasn't necessarily any particular series or type of show - just any show at any time that would cause a trigger in me. TV is an important distraction for me so I really was getting a bit anxious about this. It helped me a lot to read up on how a...

You may also want to keep a dream journal if you aren't already (sorry if you said you were and I missed it.)

Howdy. :) You know, I never really considered it but I too have very similar tendencies as you described with Max. For 90% of the time I live on the "good" side of the moral line, usually to an extreme. Then my own "Max" will come out and for no good reason just salt the earth around him. I...

HI! Thanks for being willing to post. It took me a while to feel comfortable enough to switch from "lurker" mode to "poster" mode, and I was very nervous as well. I figured this would just be another venue where I was misunderstood once more. I could not have been more wrong. You are not...

Hehehehehe.... :) Get him pink edible panties just for the shock value. And...you may want to update your CV while you are at it. :)

Hi Lauren, i want you to know you're not alone here - there are many of us with those same feelings. I was shocked at how many people here could relate to the feelings you expressed above. As such I have found this site really helpful, I hope you do as well. If you are not seeing a...

Hi adam, welcome. Firstly, I completely agree, this is a safe place - you're among people that understand. I too have similar reactions to stories of animal cruelty. For a long time it had bothered me. How a story of some dog I never knew being abused had the ability to basically shut me...

@Emotional Retard - I can also relate to those feelings. Getting better is more than just work - it is a commitment to change. For me, I know that there are times when the last thing in the world I can handle is (more) change, and I think, "screw it - I'm broken, I can live with that, at least...

Yeah, that was a huge milestone for me as well. I think it's great you are recognizing what you can do for you - it's so important to remember you are a good person and deserve to walk your path of life with a smile instead of a frown.

@WendyA - There are two very strong positives you can take away from suicide not being an option anymore (and I truly hope it isn't) here are two main, positive takeaways you now have: 1. You have one less major event to worry about. 2. You can get back to the business of living. PTSD is a...

@DeathRay - I've received that a lot from my mother as well - In part, my mother was right. I was, on some level, blaming her...holding her responsible...for not being there when I needed her. To be honest, in my case, I was simply holding her to an unrealistic standard. Here is the...

I used to have many such instances when I worked in my higher-stress environments. There were times I would go through a lot of what you described. Because you are at work your options are a bit limited I would imagine, but one thing that used to help a lot was finding a bathroom, hopefully a...

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*smacks self in face* I just realized something (God I love my "smoke breaks" ... they are so tranquil...) If the meek does not inherit the earth, then the other people will. That may happen on my watch, but not because I allow it. Go us.

Just try to buckle down. Have you ever seen the movie, "The Matrix?" If not I highly recommend it. In that movie, in the opening scene, there is a woman being chased by someone. She has a choice. Can I make this leap, or can't I? She didn't know, but she tried. She made it. As she sat on...

@RussH - That was very inspirational to me, thanks! @FortMillian - Very apt quote. I would like to say one thing, though regarding the quote, "The meek shall inherit the earth." Going off of Webster's definition, "meek" is synonymous with "gentle," "submissive," "humble." I think what...