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"They'll find out. Every employer eventually does, and then they all have the same reaction: 'you're too much, time to go.' To call it a fear is a disservice, more like an obsession. I've spent years trying to hide this, clearly it isn't working, and they ALWAYS find out and then I get hurt...

Wife and I are both PTSD survivors. Something we noticed when we finally moved to a much safer (nonlethal) area was, just how uneasy we seemed to make people in public places. Dont think it was our general appearance as much as we tend to move in very deliberate ways, and we're not afraid to...

I'm beginning to believe that "fixing" us isn't really the end-goal. That is, removing all the damage also removes a huge part of who we are, what we've done, and who we've affected over the years. What we CAN do is support more of our own, until our presence simply cannot be ignored by...

"Object" in this case just means something with a tangible, physical presence. "Object permanence" in this case is being aware of the presence of something when it's no longer detectible via senses. Classic infant example is "peek-a-boo", the idea being the baby doesn't (yet) realize that the...

Had similar advice from a T, and it basically boiled down to "If we can't get closure in the way our tiny inner human is demanding, then sometimes the next best thing is to conclude the story in a different way." Not erase or rewrite things as they transpired, or how they "actually ended"...

The endless dance of "I need to function as a Normal Adult in Normal Society" and "I've been hardwired by battles most people can't even conceptualize and it makes life feel like a weirdly surreal war movie all the time" is a fun one for people in our position. It's a bit eerie reading your post...

Well the single biggest driver here is guilt. Whether it's accurate or not, that informs everything you're feeling about this. I used to work in online safety for a long time. One thing that came up a lot when coming across things like domestic abusers or people grooming kids was the...

One thing about being a kid is, we're not exactly aware of how little we know or are able to clearly process, until we're not kids anymore and can see the whole thing in hindsight. Kids of any age are still trying to figure out themselves, life, the world around them, all while trying to learn...

Well hello there. Welcome. Also lived in a deeply unsafe area for a very long time. Even without the baggage I had before being dumped there, it 1000% sealed my fate as a fringe antisocial weirdo. XD It's a rough road from there to recovery, one I'm still on and will likely be on forever. But...

I'm slowly, painfully beginning to realize this. The only people I've ever bonded with on any level, my spouse included, are also all CPTSD survivors of one kind or another. Everyone else felt to flighty, superficial. Felt like they ignored my needs to feed their own. Still feels that way some...

I've come to realize that neurotypical people - especially those without a background like ours - will never understand it and can't ever understand it. It's my belief the only way someone can accept something this awful is to experience it first-hand. I've actually had people tell me to my face...

Worked in online safety (trust & safety) for about 10 years. Began to uncover an unknown but long-preexisting CPTSD issue to juggle, something that simultaneously made my entire work history make a LOT of sense (didnt know I had traumatic responses, so they often dominated social interactions)...

Cup

Not sure a better way to say this but, thank you so much for your kind words. It might be the first time in a long time I heard other folks speaking "my" language as it were...always thought I was on an island there. Deeply relieving to learn that's not the case. :D So far, the emotional...

Hi. Newcomer here. 45, CPTSD survivor from emotional neglect and psychological abuse to the point where I learned all the wrong lessons about socializing, and now have...no socializing. I don't know how to. Never have. Can respond to questions or requests but I can't talk about anything...