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It sounds to me like you have accepted that the relationship is unworkable. Is there something preventing you from leaving?

My experience was that once I changed myself, stopped being controlling, trying to fix, all that codependent sh*t, the fight went out of our relationship. I realized that if we weren't fighting we were emotionally estranged and that my PTSD emotional avoidance was part of it. If he is not...

He sounds a lot like my soon-to-be ex. Ugh. Do you think that he has independent relationships with different parts of you? This was a problem for me. Inner communication is key here. Important to know how everyone is feeling, what they want to do next, otherwise your ultimatums may be ignored...

I am in the midst of a long divorce process from a mutually abusive relationship that will also involve me paying spousal support. I don't have any good advice except to say I know how you feel right now.

I have never heard of the ifs model. My T is a Pdoc that specializes in trauma and dissociative disorders and as far as I can tell we are doing a standard intensive treatment for complex trauma. No EMDR, no hypnosis, just talking. I've never asked if he is following a model though. All I can...

What you describe is worrisome. I would talk to your Pdoc about getting some labs done now. I don't know what vitamin and mineral supplements you are on but it could also be potassium deficiency. Happens a lot to people on these super low calorie diets and can be life-threatening. What is your...

Until these parts of yourself learn they can trust you, they will continue to pursue their own survival strategies. Remember these parts are unloved children trying to survive - even if they appear in your mind as the abuser or some other being -that is what they are. Respect is not what they...

Can you go back to therapy? Sometimes Ts have a sliding scale if finances are an issue.

What has helped me is to go inside and try to connect with the abusive part. This anger or rage or sadism is part of you even if it doesn't feel like it. Something about your partner is triggering off your threat detection and you are responding to save yourself. Why? Could be something as...

Courage to Heal didn't work for me either. I get nervous just thinking about it. I go back and re-read Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation regularly. Love that book.

Wow - this thread has become quite heated, lots of disagreement on a lot of issues. @maryiscontrary it sounds like you have been desperately trying to find something to alleviate your pain for a very long time. You have discovered something that you define as killing your ego as the key to a...

This has been my experience as well. I'm sorry you had that experience. All patients regardless of their diagnosis have a right to say no to students. You should have been asked beforehand if students were ok and given the opportunity to refuse.

I just read this whole thread and as someone who earns a living doing gritty unglamorous medicine all over the world, I would like to respond to two points. One, there is a physiologic definition of stress that is common to all animals from humans to zebra fish: circulating catecholamines and...

I think its fantastic that you have taken the courageous step of going to therapy now. This will allow you to heal yourself and heal your relationship with your child. I didn’t go back to therapy until my kids were in their late teens and I really really regret that I waited so long. We are...

@JadeB - I thank you for your invaluable insight. It has been meaningful to me.

I think what @JadeB is trying to say is that once you have accepted wholly (not just intellectually) that all those feelings, memories and thoughts held by your parts actually are an indelible part of you, that acceptance cannot be undone. Once you can honestly say I felt so sad, angry, lonely...

As another survivor of CSA here, this worked for me too. I learned that I was less triggered when I changed the environment: time of day, lighting, sound, place, etc. all made a big difference. I had not been aware of how my body was triggered by subtle things like that. At first, I could only...

I was wondering about this. Is that because dissociation ceases to be a coping mechanism so therefore under stress you respond in a different, healthier way? Anger to me is the hardest emotion to tolerate, own, express. I think it may be because when we were young, there was so much to be...

I'm confused - are you are the older brother or the younger brother?

I think for your letter you should include it but maybe be more straightforward: I was (angry, appalled, saddened) at your (indifference, selfishness, obnoxiousness) and lack of (empathy, emotion, feeling) for this woman who lost her baby at the same time you had your C-section. It sounds...

This is what I am thinking happens. I had a part, a sort of unemotional managerial type that was very active when I was a teenager in therapy and was also active when I started therapy again in middle age but just recently, I don't feel him any more. My T says it's because I no longer need him...

If you don't clean the carpet in a certain number of days, will you be at risk of losing your housing? Is this a must do or should do situation?

I went into trauma therapy because I thought I just had residual PTSD. I actually wasn't aware I was dissociating and neither was my T at first. He doesn't really get into the parts either, no mapping or anything. We stick with whatever feeling or memory each part holds and try to bring that...

I agree with the earlier posts, something vaguely spiritual like a silent retreat in the mountains, no details needed. I also agree that giving an emergency number to your appointed lead will be important in making everyone feel more comfortable. The emergency number can be a friend or family...

How did you learn to do this? I am in a place in therapy where intellectually I know all of the memories and feelings of the parts are actually mine. I know why and when I “made” the parts and I am able for moments to be very close to my parts. Sometimes I feel their feelings and see their...