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I'm just so disgusted with myself. Starting to think the abuse I received was deserved. Even in healthy relationships I've managed to develop since then, people just end up angry at me for my problems. And I'm joining them. In another forum-thing right now talking about how much I hate myself...

I haven't buried any posts in a while. Maybe should write about something else next time instead of moping

Ok, going to listen to more endless streams of funny videos while I do cat litter for the next hour and maybe heat up some corn dogs or something for me and the dog to eat lol

At least I may have my month's food stamps now. Probably going to spend it all on the holiday but it won't be the same

I'm genuinely sorry, not trying to be difficult. I know you're right on some level

The "people" who told me my mom was always in the wrong were my own therapists at the time, even I guess I feel betrayed, but it's not like they actually personally owed me anything. Like, I understand it wasn't their fault, and I should have known better or something But I can't undo it and...

I'm really glad to hear you're getting better/life's worth it And I don't want to sound like I'm whining or being dramatic because I understand logically that I should just ignore these thoughts and take the advice. You have good advice and I recognize you're right. But the events of these...

Something I said in another PTSD group. Not sure why I'm recording it here anymore because I haven't spoken to a therapist for months now. So no need for a record to refer back to anymore. And really hate posting emotional stuff like this that makes me sound ridiculous or dramatic. Best friend...

This is a nightmare to be honest and there just isn't a way out. I'm not even asking for an easy solution, just something to hold on to. I really feel like I've lost everything and done everything wrong

I slept through my psychiatrist appointment again. Could barely stay awake to say anything about it to the receptionist. She sounded very frustrated at me. They didn't tell me it was supposed to be an in-person appointment, which is part of why I slept through it. Fell asleep waiting for the...

Oh, hey, welcome back :) And thank you. Sorry, I couldn't bring myself to say it to you in DMs. Been too stressed for friends. The site owner came out as loving trump btw lol

Apocalypse being my mom leaving. And suddenly realizing how mentally unwell and delusional I really am

He cut my hair for me and now I'm feeling less stressed. Being autistic is dumb I still feel like I'm alive after the apocalypse though

I did ask my best friend if we are still friends and he said yea. I just really feel like he isn't benefiting and is in fact in worse shape for supporting me. He said that wasn't true or else he would just stop being my friend, because he has boundaries. I am trusting that. He said he wasnt...

It does help. I'm very worried I'm going to be going to jail sometime next year. Hopefully not, but justice doesn't really care about people slipping through the cracks. They care more about setting examples. And I'm an idiot and a half. But anyway, if it's a long time, if it happens at all...

I feel bad sharing it. Thank you

I did get better. It didn't change anything. I'm angry at people who told me that it gets better. It doesn't for some people.

My best friend feels angry that I'm not taking care of my mental health. Especially the wanting small cute items. I don't want to trouble anyone, seriously. I'm just exhausted. All the self worth I gained is gone. I feel gutted and the next best thing to do is to be physically gutted.

Cops called an ambulance on me but they couldn't take me because I refused and am not technically a danger to myself. People don't usually care unless you have the knife to your throat

Guess I'll go home (hour drive) and go back to sleep. Shouldn't have bothered going out. Didn't deserve it Just keep making everything worse

What even if there to be optimistic about anymore

Great news, the week somehow got worse. But it's my fault this time so that's fine I guess. More okay I wish I could just end my life now. I feel there's a perfect version of me that will exist if I kill this stupid current me

Nothing at all has gone right. It just keeps getting worse. I don't have enough money for my bills. I get 500$/mo from disability and no snap this month. Had to steal. Bills are over 1000/mo and that's with me avoiding paying rent. Amd that's the least of my worries. Don't know why I'm...

Was thinking maybe it's time to come off of all the medications. I'm tired of the stress of them. Always running out and now inconveniencing my psychiatrist and then missing my appointment after having to ask him to do all that paperwork for housing. Receptionist telling me to feel bad about it...

Thank you I'm not wanting to be rude, but I don't know how to feel about this right now I guess so. She was nearly perfect and I acted stupid about her mental illnesses. I wish I could apologize Pretty upset today. Got discriminated against today by the "owner" (?) of the neurologist...