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Tyraary- I can so relate to what you wrote. If it wasn't for my wife, I would have been gone long ago!
Does a mental hospital near you have a day program? I attended mine. It was five days a week from 8:30-3:30. There was group therapy and individual therapy, as well as sessions/classes on...
I've been having the same damn dream for over a decade, with little variations. I was a teacher until I went on disability retirement last year, but I still dream of being in a classroom full of kids I can't control, I have no lesson plan or materials, and the principal walks in to give me a...
Oh, and when I'm anxious I'm also prone to "ear worms"- you know, when you get a song or part of a song playing over and over in your mind. Bad enough for a few minutes, but very disturbing when it lasts for hours.
Do you experience this by any chance? I've found no way to combat this phenomena.
SeekingAfrica- Yes, I totally experience this. When I feel panicky it is difficult to do things. It's like being deer in the headlight frozen. And yes, I do feel dizzy and faint. I think this comes from racing heart and shallow breathing when panicky. The advice about counted breathing is...
I'm so sorry you are having such terrible experiences getting weekly therapy! I applaud you for your perseverance and standing up for yourself. Is there a county or state agency that might be able to assist you in obtaining your therapy?
I wish you the best news on Monday- I hope they can take you. Some insurance companies will pay a portion of out-of-network visits if you self-pay and then submit your bill/claim to them. Have you looked into this? Also, how about county or stat executives? They are supposed to serve the public-...
In the USA, if a doctor deems a person an imminent threat to their safety or the safety of others they will require hospitalization- if that is the case you need to be hospitalized. My frequent suicide ideations come from wanting to escape the misery of my conditions rather than feeling life is...
Thanks for the reply- writing a letter (even if I don't give it to her) is a great idea. It's not an idea that's new to me- but it never crossed my mind in this situation! That's what I love about these forums. Sometimes they offer new strategies and tools to use, and other times they remind us...
Thanks for the feedback! I completed most of the paperwork- I just needs to look up a few details and I'm finished. I listened to a track I have of Buddhist chants while working- and it seemed to help.
I'm not sure which is tougher- convincing myself that my condition is really that bad or...
I have to fill out forms for Social Security disability. When I've tried in the past I get in such a panic attack! It's hard for me to even write legibly. I don't want to include triggers but you know what panic attacks/anxiety feel like already!
Still, it must be done (I've put it off for...
Thanks for the perspective desiderata:) She is dealing with physical and emotional issues of her own. By love do you mean sex? I can see that it is love/sex no matter who initiates it. But I don't think it is the same for affection. And I do ask. I ask her to massage my shoulders or forehead (I...
I'm not in the military and don't know someone who is, but I wonder if those in the military joke about it to hide their own fears and insecurities? Of course even if that is the case it doesn't make it right!
But is it really affection if someone does not initiate it on their own? It's like if someone doesn't listen to you. If the person doesn't want to pay attention to what you are saying, is it worth it to ask them to? My wife constantly cuts me off in mid-sentence or doesn't respond to something...
I'm sorry that you also know the pain of "having to deal with garbage no child should have to." You stated the situation perfectly. I also lived with family secrets, and it's amazing the damage they can do. Knowing my past and how it affected me is a start- now I need to find a way to process it...
Thanks for the feedback watundah and boodle. Yesterday my wife worked on the bills and got in a frenzy over the fact we have more bills than money to pay them. I fell down the rabbit hole of guilt and shame. I told her I wanted to try to get a job but she pointed out I'm not even taking care of...
I don't know if she just rejects/overreacts to my statements of what I want or feel or if I'm just so awkward at it that it comes out as an attack on her. Like I said, she's so overwhelmed with work stress, her parents' health, and her own physical and mental health that it seems like she does...
I wouldn't say that you misunderstood my question. Maybe I wasn't very clear. Except for a few very traumatic experiences most of mine is a series of daily occurrences that wove themselves into a tapestry. I don't recall many of the threads as they were woven- all I see/feel/think is the overall...
crazyhorse- Thanks for the response. I used alcohol for a year or so in my early twenties. It's been 31 years since I had a drink but that hasn't been easy. Medications and therapy hasn't helped, and I am still tempted to drown the inner critic that way. My older sister had the same conditions I...
For me, Walker's statement fit my experience perfectly. He wrote something to the effect that in such a dysfunctional family, expression of anger is treated as a capital offense. I find it difficult to be angry with anyone but myself. Like you, I'm afraid if I express my anger it will get out of...
I feel I can’t ask any more of L. than what she does/gives. She does so much as it is, is so overworked, and has physical/emotional issues of her own. Still, I’m going to assert myself in not wanting her to interrupt me when I’m talking. I usually just accept it on the grounds that I’m not...
Just popped into my head a possible drawback to the card for the police officers idea- (I can think of something to worry about any and everything!). Cops are so nervous themselves (and with good reason considering how many have been shot this year), that reaching for the card might cause them...