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I've always been aware that I keep a distance from others and find it hard to trust people. I avoid social events and I don't follow up on the occasional "yeah, let's get together some time soon". When my T asked me if I "fake" friendship, that question sort of stuck with me. This is...

YES!! I think I would have been much more like my daughter. She's so confident and she loves being around other kids and easily expresses herself. She also stands up for herself and doesn't take crap from anyone. Raising her is like having a "do-over" for all of the things that should have...

This sounds so familiar! Only I'm the one that needs my space/distance and my husband is smothering. He has become resentful and angry. Since anger is a trigger for me, this pushes me further away, and down it spirals. He seems to be hyper-focused on the (lack of) intimacy, like it's the...

I feel the same way about parties - this is why I called myself "wallflower". I dread the thought of standing awkwardly as everyone else around me strikes up conversations and chats with others. I have always felt out of place at parties and like I don't really belong, even with my "friends"...

I've noticed that when I'm stressed, I struggle to remember words. When I'm "triggered" it's worse and I start getting stuck mid-sentence which makes me shut down more. I also don't remember details about stressful events. One time I recorded an argument with my husband and when I listened to...

A place where people understand me

Thanks Anthony. This makes sense. I guess the memories don't matter as much as just knowing that the neglect and abuse happened. My therapist seemed to change focus when I didn't have memories, which concerned me.

Thanks Suzie Q. Maybe it's a blessing that I don't remember much. Princess, wow. I'm sorry you went through this too, but on the other hand, I'm relieved that I'm not the only one.

Today I asked my T "what if I never remember? (childhood years)" She said that it is possible that I never associated. I didn't think this was possible, since the memories *have* to be there somewhere. Have any of you ever heard of not associating? If so, how do you heal without processing...

Thanks for your responses. I am in a safe environment, but I'm not sure it's a healthy environment for me. After reading through this forum, I think that my husband also suffers from ptsd. He has a very similar background, but his response is much different than mine. I disassociate and he...

I've been in individual counseling for about 6 months after years of marriage counseling was not helping. I recently came to the realization that I don't remember much at all from my childhood (very little before age 9). I had one session of EMDR and all I remembered was an empty, dark house...