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I totally respect your comments @Ragdoll Circus For me these more academic type discussions about definitions really help. I find it far easier to think about and "talk" about my abuse from these types of threads. As someone with far lower abuse than many here (maybe even most) I have never...

Ability to escape still plagues my mind. In situations where the person is definitely held captive under all definitions ... I'm sure in many of these situations that were long and ongoing there would have been an opportunity to escape (maybe a really bad option, but technically an option). I...

Ability to escape is such a loaded question for me. I still don't know where that line is

So....not for sadistic pleasure but for an external purpose? Not arguing just questioning with interest.

Learning Self soothing changed my world. Mine are simple things like watching meaningless TV, cups of tea, heating myself (eg heaters, blankets, hot water bottles) and walking around a specific department stall shop (don't know why that one works but it does). Basically it's anything you like...

My second childhood sexual abuser abused me and his enjoyment came from my emotional pain and confusion and fear. It was calculated and scheduled (specific known times each week - unless something interferred with him getting away with it). I was trapped as he conned my parents and everyone that...

As people have already said, take a break from EDMR. I think if you make the decision that you will take a break while you allow yourself to adjust then you will feel some relief from a decision made. Now that the future has been managed, you can focus on the now and how to manage the now...

If you put the pillow in a large soft bag you can use it easily and while carrying it, it just looks like an extra bag from shopping.

This reminded me...one of the words that is a huge red flag for me .... "should". Eg, I "should" not have done that means a very different thing than the internal dialogue of I "wish" I hadn't done that. Should implies blame and failure, wish implies an unfortunate mistake.

Boundaries are a significant thing to learn and need to be tailored to both the individual and the circumstance. Walking away is typically a good solution, but you say your mood has already been affected. Maybe walking away AND doing something to improve your mood. Maybe there are indications...

I really like the Ho'oponopono blessing. It's to be said to any and all bad things in the world. I found it a really valuable replacement phrase for almost any internal thought I wanted to displace. The great thing for me was that it's not a blessing to me, but a blessing to the world in general.

How to identify.... I ask myself questions like... - If my best friend told me this event, what would I say to her. If what I say to myself is different to what I'd say to her then I'm being too hard on myself. - if I post the event here, what would people here (that have my respect for...

I know I couldn't do it. In contrast, you think you can, and that's why you are posting here. If you think you can then I think you should try.. Just be open to it not working and be ready to walk away without guilt. But again that's just me...I know I would struggle to walk away which is part...

I was there once in a similar dark place you are now. It was a therapist that pulled me out (but it was also a therapist who put me in that place). If you can find the right T they can do wonders, mine (good one) would never push medications, but she did encourage them and they were great for...

I feel for you, I hate clothes shopping too. Some ideas.... Can a friend shop for you and choose something? Can you borrow something? Can something you already own be made suitable with the right accessory.

Regarding pain medications. I personally strongly believe in them. Life is too short to suffer needlessly. So, with that in mind.... I had a close friend who had a lot of pain. She took a variety of pain meds until we found the right one for her. It was my responsibility to not let her take...

I think this is why I didn't get much from that Ted talk. Thanks. A person who normally is a good human, and cares about me can change. They can change forever (eg breakup) or they can change momentarily (eg in a fight). There is a phrase I read once that really resonates for me regarding...

It was only recently that I learnt that my asthma attacks were actually panic attacks.

My 2nd abuser liked me to be emotionally suffering...if I didn't show emotion the abuse was less...so I learnt to not show it which is best done by suppressing/denying the emotions rather than hiding them. Now, when I do feel something I don't like to share it, and I don't see the advantage or...

Yes!!!!! Bad therapy is very difficult to spot when your in it.

While I totally agree with going slowly, and also maybe that means your pushing too fast .... This does not undo your success to be able to have that post it up. Massive success. Maybe take it down and continue with smaller steps, but the fact that you could cope with that big one up is a...

Welcome :)

I was encouraged to - talk about what happened, details etc. things that I've never told anyone and I wish I could take back. - find childhood photos etc of the abuse time periods - collect a timeline like diary of everything I knew or could find from that time period. - theorize on details...

My first T launched into trauma work without stabilization and left me a mess, suicidal etc. But it was the second T I'm most angry at. I rang the practice on a recommendation and told them I was suicidal because of my first T"s trauma work for my Csa ...I was very clear on my history and...

I might get backlash for this but ... the comments that say you can't write a romance novel with a character with PTSD implies to me that a person who has PTSD can't ever have a enjoyable romantic relationship. That's a very negative perception.