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I like this....it is very true.

I'm not frustrated with you. I can see your pain. I've been down that dark place, it's hard to see much from there.

Not for now, but for future...self soothing works for me if I do it Before spiraling down, once down in that dark place it doesn't interest me or work. It sounds like your dark place has adrenalin in it. Does exercise help. Can you angrily vacumn the house, scrub the grout with a toothbrush...

You're not a freak. I like to label my issues as quirks rather than issues/symptoms/problems, it helps me to feel less odd. Can you do that self sooth now? Can you be kind enough to yourself to allow yourself to do it.

It seems that your boss likely knows at least some of your symptoms (from when you left). Can you chat with your boss saying you loved your job, your not not sure you're quite ready to come back but your bank account needs you to, and is there an option for something paid that's less stressful...

I'm not sure what might be helpful for me to write, but I didn't want to leave your post without commenting. Do you self sooth, does it help.

What helps me is reminding myself that the reactions will pass. Not to diminish how horrible they are, it just helps me to know they will lessen and pass.

I've felt that ability to say things but later react. Can you do something self soothing now. You just did something very brave, now is the time to be gentle with yourself. Do you have a list of self soothing options, or would you like some suggestions.

I have always known and had clear memories of specific events but lately I'm aware of "more". Like you these are just impressions and there is nothing really solid to hang onto. You are definitely not alone in this. I'm also managing my denial. I think denial is not binary (i.e. On or Off) but...

I'm so sorry all this happened, and that it can't get resolved like it should. I'm so proud that you believed and are supporting your daughter. I was molested as a child by my gymnastics teacher. When my parents found out (similar details as yours with that bit) I was told to "keep yourself...

My brain has done this too. I still remember the moment I "realized" that the abuse happened for many more years than I had previously allowed myself to believe. My story: my parents knew when I was 10 (diary record - so dated and factual) I thought it stopped then. One day I re-remembered...

It's interesting watching my reactions to all your helpful comments. The idea of writing it out grates at me, I think because it breaks my bubble of denial. Clearly this is something to work towards. I need some paperwork from my T and she will write some. She mentioned putting PTSD on it...

When I was in my 20s I had a friend who had been physically abused as a child lead me for about 5-10min on a visualization of my abuser restrained to a chair and I had a gun and bullets. In the visualization I had all the power to take his life, or not to. I felt something shift with that...

Minimize and/or deny. It's interesting that you make the point that both suffers and "normals" can both do it

Thanks @Junebug It's denial. Just seeing that word in your text made me "see" it. My parents were/are in denial about the abuse so I had to hide any and all symptoms from it. I learned that it's easier to delude yourself than actively hide things and "act" for others. I also learnt how to...

What's helping me improve is a using a task tracking sheet I have a list of behaviors I want to do more often, it seems to help motivate me and also keep me honest about how often I'm doing them. Example...

Yes, this !

I just thought of something which to me is funny (like a joke). With heights, the "worst" that can happen is that you fall and die. With cleaning for moving, the worst that can happen is that you get in trouble. I'm meant to think dying is worse, but I don't.

I understand where you are coming from. I'm too suffered sexual abuse for years as a child and believe it would be easier to explain it if my problems were from military, or cops or caused by me being exposed to bad things because I was noble and wanted to help people (military, cops, ambulance...

My problems are very intermittent which in a way is great, but it causes problems with therapy and explaining myself to others. Does anyone else have this, and how do you manage it. For example, 2 days ago I had a really bad day and booked a urgent T appointment for today. But today, I'm okay...

Yes and no. I view it more that things that overwhelm me, don't overwhelm others. But I also try to remember that somethings overwhelm others but not me (eg some people struggle with heights, I don't). But yet, I do acknowledge that heights are more socially understandable to struggle with.

This really stood out for me and I had to go research the definition of passive aggression to be sure. My understanding is that passive aggression comes when you don't state your boundary but instead put aggressive consequences "y" in without the friend clearly knowing you don't like "x" Once...

I'm thinking more that it's not something to "undo" but a new thing to learn and frustratingly it will take time. Be gentle with yourself.

Can I ask... Is that you feel worse, or that you don't feel better. Absence, excommunication, death etc won't delete our feelings...it can change them but I think the intensity remains. Also, this is a new version of you now. In that, you have always had that relationship in your life and...

I struggle with understanding boundaries and how they work so if I'm wrong, I'm open to the discussion..... But....To me a boundary only works if it's.. If you do x then I will do y At the moment your boundary is: if you call me at home then I'm no longer your friend. But this is a boundary...