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Prazosin is an anti hypertensive used to treat high blood pressure. It also has other uses but absolutely can lower your bp which is its intent. You need to call your doctor. Untreated hypotension can stress all of the body's organs and left untreated can be dangerous and even deadly. It can...

Thank you both so much @Hashi and @scout86 . You are both so right. I need to drop the punishment and aim for closure, not from her but from myself. She will never change and feel the impact of what she has done and continues to do. What a great trick going blind was, I could so picture this...

@TimeToHeal, thanks for checking in, unfortunately I wasn't successful at not burning. Aaaagggghhh, the good thing is it pulled me back into myself. I hate this, I'm sure you do too. Now i get to look at another scar and try to explain it as a burn from the stove...again. Tonight is gonna...

In my thread, I did not say that I wanted to persecute my mother. What I said was that I wanted punishment for her actions. That punishment can be as simple as her validation verbally of her part in my abuse and a sincere apology. Seeing my mother cry for the first time in my 51 years may be...

I'm sure many here suffer from emotional, physical and sexual trauma. There is so much trauma that my therapist had me mentally put "it" all away in a "container" and deal with one trauma, one molecule at a time. My therapist is away for 9 days at a conference and the container is hemorrhaging...

I am having a huge problem connecting with my sadness emotions and being able to release them thru the oceans worth of tears I'm holding back. I just can't cry in her presence. I want to, need to but I am blocked. I feel like if she just held my hand I'd be ok with it but I'd rather swim with...

@Survivor2Thriver Unfortunately, this "option/choice" is one probably that everyone here has had to do. I'm thinking some have no longer needed to do so but for me, sadly yes, this an option and one I've unfortunately mastered.

@therisa. When you do figure it out, please let me know! Best if luck.

So I have another question. What do you say to the aunts who knew the situation and never stepped in? I am equally angry for them, was very close to one of them and now that I am trying to process this I am infuriated by their lack of protection as well. She absolutely knew the extent of what...

@Hashi, thanks so much for that. You know my mom has played the victim/weak helpless one her whole life. Nothing is different here now that she's 83. But, because she is 83 now she actually may have an excuse. You know I told my therapist that in 50 years, the death of my dad or her mother I...

@ survivortothriver. I feel obligated to have her in my life. If I choose not to the consequences will be worse. My siblings will be furious as they feel the need to protect her and are in denial themselves. I will not hurt them, that would be more painful to me than this. I do think writing a...

Thanks Macca. My therapist says the same thing. I guess I'm stuck in the angry phase. Hope I can figure out how to move on.

For my mothers constant inquisition, I just lie and say I'm fine. It's what she wants to hear anyway. If I tell her I'm struggling she just sighs constantly and makes me feel worried for her.......again! So, I lie, tell her I'm all better, she says oh good, good, good then 2 weeks later she...

Lithium shakes are horrible. If your on it have your level checked. Good luck!

Thanks, I guess I'm just a horrible person.

Thank you all for your suggestions. I never really correlated my circling the drain with our conversations.! Interesting and probable. I know she will never own up to her part but feel like she needs to be punished for it. Is that wrong?

Wow! You are all right!....and insightful. No, my therapist has not talked me to approaching my sister. Yes, I see now why it is wrong. I never thought that I was being used to manipulate my siblings... This is also a revelation and OMG, yes I am the parent and always have been. The staple...

So I'm 51 and grew up in a severely abusive alcholic home with daily terror. My dad was the monster. He is dead. My mom never protected us, even now and will never take responsibility in her part. She stood by and watched beatings, brought my brother to the ER with his broken arm and...

It's really hard. I'm thinking about approaching my sister about my guilt but I of course feel guilty for asking for her help! LOL. I don't think she realizes that when she says "you didn't get it as bad, we protected you and you were liked best" that this just fuels the guilt. I believe she...

Thanks Muse! I just can stop the flashbacks of my brother and sisters physical abuse that I witnessed. They mean well, tell me I am the favorite and say"thank god you didn't get it like we did. They also say, I'm so glad we could protect me'". It just feeds the guilt and I truly believe they...

So, my middle name is sorry. And I am...about everything. You see I absolutely got severe emotional constant abuse from my alcholic father. I was afraid for my life....daily. But, I never got physically abused. My arm wasn't broken, I wasnt almost drowned nor was I beaten regularly with his...

I can relate to your feelings. My therapist is away for 9 days. I have been seeing her for 7 months, twice a week so this lapse should be interesting. She is versed in many aspects of trauma....SE, EMDR, IFS. She knows I'm apprehensive and she told me I could call her and I have her cell...

Bedbug, I'm sorry to hear of your trauma. I know all to well both physical and sexual abuse as a poor innocent child. I am hoping you are working with a trauma specialist to help you thru this process and I hope it goes well. If you haven't researched inner family system therapy you might...