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Depends. In the Structural Dissociation book, they talk about 3 stages. 1) Stabilization 2) Overcoming the fear of the facts of what happened 3) Overcoming the fear of the emotions of what happened So, if you're scared to talk about it at all, then you're at stage 1 or 2, and talking about it...

Kinda, sorta, but not quite. You're paying him because he thinks, and because he can have advice that helps, and questions that get you to think about the things that you'd otherwise avoid thinking about. You care about what he thinks of you, about whether he thinks you're a good person, and...

I respect people who can recognize their emotional limits. As a sufferer, that's something I find difficult to do.

Please note that if you try that format & question, you're probably going to get a justification of the hurtful statement (as you know, he thinks he's 'just telling the truth'). The trick is to be able to keep asking questions at the six-year-old level in a very patient and calm tone until he is...

"You're being mean" isn't an undeniable fact, though, it's an interpretation. "You said that I'm a child" is an undeniable fact (in your examples above). He's not stating facts, he's stating interpretations/opinions. Quite hurtful ones. Your responses seem appropriate- it's impossible for him...

Regarding EMDR, it's quite powerful. Side effects vary from 'fatigue' to 'severe distress'. (Personally, I'm at the severe distress end, but it was worth it.) There are several threads on EMDR in the Therapy sub forum. You want to be very comfortable with talking to your therapist, and...

That sounds horrible. A horrible thing to happen, and a horrible thing to remember. I'm glad that you've had some recent positive experiences, and hope that you will have many more. Did the psychiatry help? Do you have a psychologist or psychiatrist at the moment?

You seem very level-headed in the way that you're talking about it. With the extremely limited information that I have, your reply doesn't feel like good news. It sounds like you're in a very bad situation. If you've made a choice to stay, then I'm uncomfortable, but it's your life and you...

Yeah. The single most distressing memory I have is of a time that matches that description. It is an awful feeling. One that I haven't repeated in the last ten years, so that's something. Improvement is a real thing, and I believe you're serious about making improvements.

Yes, I was exaggerating for (intended comic) effect. You're right, it was a poorly considered example, and your response is absolutely right, in that scenario, you don't try to understand, you get safe, you get out, and you get the protection of the law. I hope that you are safe now, and that...

My most upsetting flashbacks relate to happy memories; I found this very confusing for a long time. The theory of Structural Dissociation allowed me to make sense of it. I'm afraid that if I allow myself the happy memories, I will open the door to the Bad Things. The good news is that if I...

I find this very relatable. One thing I'm completely sure of: your therapist got a very valuable glimpse of something. I'm sure that it would be useful to talk to them about your feelings in relation to the event as well. I suspect myself of 'putting on an act' at times. I have good reasons for...

Although I'm inclined to agree, we have no way of knowing, not at this distance :( Most people wouldn't suspect nasty motives in most cases (mostly). If they do suspect something, then there's a reason at work. Very hard for us to identify the correct combination of reasons.

If you need to disagree, then talk about the need that motivates the disagreement. "OK, you say you're not upset. But before I said anything, you were quietly reading the newspaper. Now, you're holding me against the wall and holding a knife to my throat. So it seems to me that something has...

1) Don't forget that your effectiveness as a career depends on your own well being. Take care of yourself. 2) Pete Walker has written some really good stuff from a practical standpoint. Ono van der Hart and Nijenhueis (sp?) are the ones who came up with the theory of Structural Dissociation...

In addition to what @Sweetpea76 said: He needs therapy. He needs to learn how to talk about things with someone who is on his side and doesn't want anything from him emotionally. (As his girlfriend, you want a loving relationship with him, which is an emotional want and it disqualifies you from...

Best use of Covfefe ever. I think it is really important to remember all that we've achieved, despite all the PTSD covfefe. Covfefe (n): a category of thing that denies happiness, increases irritability, and makes you want to complain about your life on the internet. E.g., "This job has been...

Don't believe the content of the words; however much he may believe what he's saying, if he's diagnosed with PTSD, then he's out of touch with himself. Don't fight him about it either! Attempts at mind-reading tend to be infuriating. Do talk about your own feelings. "I'm unhappy that I said...

I think it might be time to hunt for the silver lining. He's the best man you've met so far, but you're still alive; there is a future. You've come to appreciate some things you didn't appreciate fully in the past: this will help you identify them in future (to find one who is even better)...

MAYBE (as an experiment, if you think it might work) you could practice a similar gesture using the soft parts of your fingers. If you do that at times when you're not angry, or only mildly annoyed, it MIGHT become available as an option when you're not in control. Controlling the rage for me...

Sound like a flashback. One that you handled well.

Is there something physical you can redirect the energy into? Is it an option to feel the anger without acting on the anger?

It's this uncertainty that really put me off becoming a therapist myself. If they get much better, they leave and you might never find out. If they get much worse, they leave and you might never find out. In this case, it's pretty clear that we were so incredibly awesome that a full cure was...

Yes, it's hard. Fortunately, you're not contracted to your therapist. In early 2003, I self-diagnosed with schizophrenia, went to my family doctor, and got sent to a psychiatrist. He diagnosed reactive depression (what with getting laid off when the Internet bubble burst and my mother dying...

Leaving aside the thread (I've read the first page of replies, but nothing since then). My understanding of your situation is this: You had a complicated, difficult experience with a boy, and you don't like him anymore. His behaviour since the sexual event is not the behaviour you would like...