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Rob That quote was very touching.. kinda makes me feel proud for some reason.. I guess the thought that even though I've been through so much crap and am so screwed up now, that there's something beautiful that will emerge from the ugliness. Thank you for that. This forum has open my eyes...

I suck Hey Batgirl.. I have a husband & children (poor things) I was an emergency dispatcher for almost 11 years when they fired me cuz I'd run out of sick time cuz of PTSD. Bastards. So I guess in my case, I'm NOT able to work right now.. and its really screwing me up. Its making me...

against the wall Wow.. I guess this is common with alot of people, not just cops. I'm not a cop, however my hubby (Ubu) is. When I go somewhere without him, I sit in a corner or with my back against the wall.. so I can see whats going on.. bad stuff about happen etc.. I run possible bad...

tip-toes Well, so far so good.. mostly. Had to fight off a panic attack ALL day yesterday. (that really sucked) Got up today and managed 20 whole minutes on the eliptical machine.. downed a protein shake and a cup of coffee. Took a shower, got dressed, EVEN put on some makeup.. WOO HOO!! But...

this is my hubby Ubu is my husband.. he came on at my suggestion and got a page full of feelings off his back. (however, he fat-fingered the keyboard and lost 9/10 of what he had originally typed. I didnt read it, but by the look on his face when he was done, it may have been a bit therapeutic...

Lee Thank you.. I hope I was able to offer some insight or help of some sort. My husband just joined the forum.. I think its under the 'intros' still.. his logon name is 'ubu'.. We've had a rough week, but done alot of good talking and understanding.. I think having him on the forum will help...

I love Midler's funny, strong.. dont take no shit from anyone attitude.. she reminds me of the way my mom was. she rocks !! :tongue:

Pm Terry.. I sent you a pm.. let me know if you get it or not.. my brain is scrambled. :crazy-eye

excellent Like we always hear.. 'baby steps'.. thats great !!

whoa !! Lee.. get off the rollercoaster !! You need to do whats best for you and your children. Its HIS fault he isnt getting and KEEPING up on his treatment, NOT YOURS. Speaking from experience.. I'd rather be a child from a divorced home that from an abused home. Neither you nor the kids...

today.. Today I drove my daughter to work, and made dinner.. (ok.. I bought pizza) its Superbowl Sunday.. I felt the need to cook something.. (its a 'take & bake' thing.. technically, I AM cooking it.) :biggrin:

hmmm ok.. I like so many varieties of music I couldnt begin to name them all.. ya know.. depends on the mood.. Pink.. (strong) Joan Jett.. (strong) Clapton, Floyd, Eagles, Steve Miller.. (mellow me) Metallica.. Nickelback.. Hinder.. (rock me!!) Right now for some bizarre reason, Bette...

you're loved Beatle Opening up is the hardest thing to do.. It makes us vulnerable.. and we dont like that. I was raised being told 'you're the strong one'.. I happily accepted that title - and to this day, I think its part of my undoing. Being the 'strong one' kept me alive. Moved out...

Lmao!! Elvis.. you're killing me!! :rofl: Seriously.. thats the funniest thing I've heard in weeks!! I'm laughing out loud.. so hard that my stomach muscles hurt.. The visual.. God thats good.. Thank you.:claps:

hey !! Mouse.. guess what?? I got dressed yesterday !! :biggrin: yeah... not only that.. I left the house.. forced myself.. got my little one's hair cut.. mailed a letter.. AND I didnt throw up !! Today's not as good.. but not as bad as some previous days. Hang in there.. its the littles...

Hi Lee.. I am a PTSD sufferer.. and my husband and children are suffering right along side of me. Its strenuous on everyone, and you can only do so much. I think its good that you came onto the forum.. I've had my husband come on also.. its good for spouses/friends/carers.. etc.. to see whats...

Hi Rob.. welcome to our forum.. I felt the same way when I found it.. I was so happy to finally have people understand me. We're here for you.. keep your chin up !!

Thank you Terry.. I needed to hear that.. I wish I could have done something for Ron.. I felt so helpless.. I couldn't reach through the radio to him.. all I could do was sit there and talk.. I felt so helpless. I wish there had been a payphone that day. :dontknow:

bad, really really bad.

Catatonicky.. thank you.. I've written so many things on here within the last few days.. I appreciate what you've said.. I'm trying to get a grip. :frown:

Wayne.. remember what I said about my incognito husband? I told him about you.. I want him to talk to you, I really think you could help each other.. there are such similarities, its uncanny.. He's at work now.. but he'll get here as soon as he can. (I'm hopeful too that it helps you both, I...

Paul, look deeper.. she sounds like she gave up on you and did her own thing.. thats not your fault. I have PTSD.. and right now, I wanna leave.. run from my marriage.. there are complicating factors.. but I'm trying to look deeper at my reasons. Part of my reaction to PTSD is the fight or...

relaxation cds Ok.. I bought one yesterday.. the damn thing wont fit into my Ipod !! (J/K) but seriously.. I haven't listened to it yet.. I cant get 5 minutes of f'n peace and quiet to do it!! I'll let you all know how it went.. if it ever does. For now.. I'll listen to my 4 yr old son run...

eek! Panic attack.. I thought I was seriously dying the first time I had one. OMG.. seems like I've kept them pretty much at bay by breathing and removing myself from whatever/wherever it is thats causing it. This past week though has been the worst yet.. Every moment of the last week I've...

nice.. last night I couldn't fall asleep.. plugged in the Ipod and listened to Joan Jett.. Evanescence.. a little angry music added in.. I felt so much better !! (I apparently like to replace sadness & weakness with anger) But hey.. I like the music.. it makes me feel stronger. (and I really...