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I guess I thought I was just an un lucky coworker of an incredibly gifted gaslighter, a real pos that couldnt admit he had fallen in a lake if he was drowning, more likely to blame all of the people in dry clothes for ganging up and pushing him in. It turns out he is far from skilled, he is...

yep, regularly i guess. Maybe somewhere there are town halls held regularly like the first saturday of the month or such, but mostly i think it is when and where a leader or would be leader wants to get some in person exposure to their constituents, or at least appear to. And not always at the...

it used ro refer to the actual meeting places where open meetings for the citizens were held, in many small towns they still exist sone in the form of a karge church or as a room in a city hall or a school gym. Nowadays it isnt so much a place or an actual in person meeting but refers to an...

tailgater opted for the ditch rather than my bumper this morning. they are upside down in the dark, i am shaken but untouched. Fifty feet from a bad wreck but ok, gratefully. We were a mile from the nearest town and on a heavily policed road, I drove on and saw emergency vehichles headed to the...

erroneous post deleted

been counting and I am up to 5 medical interventions that saved my life now. And lots of others that saved me from injuries that technically would have killed me but death was not imminent. My birth was traumatic and I needed to be saved, does that count? 6. All of this hand shaking with death...

tomorrow i go in for a procedure that is non life threatening and i know i will be told “this might hurt” a dozen times and i will say “ do your worste, i have given up the will to resist” and they will laugh but i mean it. So many emergency surgeries, so many days in hospitals that i know what...

anger is supposed to drive action and all of that anger we experienced as kids was supposed to drive us to find escape from our antagonists. from age 11 when it started to 14 when i got a work permit and my escape i was constantly angry and constantly depressed by my inability to affect change...

de f'n pressed. with a comorbidity of tired

hmm. Trauma caused a disorder in my life. Dis-order. Are there any conditions that go counter to what is accepted as the desired, optimal “normal” condition that are sought after and worth choosing if given a hypothetical choice? Oh f*ck no.

My anger needs to be overwhelmed by other events, other more constructive emotions. joy at a newborn grandkids entry, fear when they struggle, overwhelmed by beauty at the south rim of the grand canyon, getting all goose bumpy during a symphony or at a good show, stuff like that. Stuff you cant...

i might be as close to forgiving my parents as i get when i can truly say i feel sorry for them. We all suffered because they fell into a cult but mine was short, I only lost about 3 years before i was able to get away but they stayed in until they died. Their natural and normal love for their...

weak and incompetent. why are you the only one that feels this way after near misses in traffic? why are you the only one that gets so bothered by unfairness in the workplace? why are you the only one so angry about the current administration? Because i am weak and incompetent? I like to think...

Appropriate has left this building. stupid is in place now. Still here? Myst be stupid. f*ck!

dont say “i was going to do that” when i am doing it fir you! When? when it needed to be done so long that i coukdnt stand it anymore? we were getting close, i stepped up, dont tell me you were going to do it. f*ck! enough!

celebrating breaking free of my chocolate and marshmallow and peanuts addiction. Its been a rocky road

circumstances are everything. the beatings were rough but you can get to a point where the pain is just a distraction on the way to being done and left alone. if the spanking is all about the pain and that's where it starts and ends, yeah, maybe its JUST a spanking. But if it is just a stop on...

so early, by 45th parallel standards. We are seeing maybe a half of our summertime roster of finch varieties, and the winter over doves and such. lots of nuthatches and some robins but not a single hummingbird yet. Patience. I did find a better source for wild bird seed, 23 bucks for a fifty...

try to remember the last time you experienced joy and rebuild it. Easier to say than to do. I am also swallowing anger all day and all night but I get glimpses of the light and it is when I am laughing or enjoying a media like video or music or working on something and totally involved in the...

still coming off of a n adrenaline spike, fear and anger return at tegular intervals as the thoughts come around again and sgain, i swear it feals like i was assaulted but in reality it was just another near miss in just another chance meeting with anotger selfish aggressive driver and i am...

not attributed and likely better stated by another source, but: if you have 99 problems and then add hunger, you quickly have only one problem.

wood stove heat. it just soaks into your bones nicely on a cold night. favorite wood, for burning or otherwise?

15 phases of Benzo recovery David Powers

very good. bophal india

overcome by despair