DARVO in the workplace — "Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender."

[enough]

I guess I thought I was just an un lucky coworker of an incredibly gifted gaslighter, a real pos that couldnt admit he had fallen in a lake if he was drowning, more likely to blame all of the people in dry clothes for ganging up and pushing him in.
It turns out he is far from skilled, he is just another mental mis fit using the easy path of DARVO to side step any appearance of bad behavior.
I was just made aware of this type of bad acting, and the more i know about it the more times i can clearly see that i have run up against it in my life.
At this point I am starting to think it is very very common and am wondering how i got to be this old without knowing what it was.
Or, am I just an incredibly un lucky co worker of an incredibly gifted gaslighter?
I urge you to look up DARVO and share your opinions and experiences. If it is as common as I think it is, it needs to be discussed and understood, recognized and avoided would be nice too.

 

[whiteraven]

I'd never heard of this, @enough, but wow...it describes every manager I've had up until my current one (who is wonderful). I still need to do some more research on this, but I will--I think this is pretty much the way most companies operate, at least in the US. It wasn't until I got my current (temporary) job in 2021 that I discovered there are ethical managers and teams that openly admit when they do wrong and work hard to fix it. And I was 60 when I discovered that!