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(Sorry for the long post): So, I am in marriage t because my husband has been lying to me. Basically what he was doing is lying about stressful events like money or if an issue came up related to money or employment. We figured out it has to do with two reasons: 1. He does not have stress...

Ha, I so needed this thread right now. I think butterfly yoga, but I am kind of hippie so of course I would think of that. Or kittens? Kittens and yoga? But, goat yoga, that is really random.

If he failed at bringing comfort to others or to me then he feels the pain too or he feels 'bad'. These are his words, I just asked him. He also has mentioned often how he does not want to get into trouble or feel responsible for some how causing me to be upset.

Is it bad to seek comfort from a spouse? I honestly don't know. Would this be ok if he could handle it in healthy ways? Should I just always try to only help myself (not ever asking him for help)? I thought this was ok as my T encouraged me to do it as he is a "safe" person.

So, I am reaching out to the supporters on here in order to get advice or insights to potentially give to my husband and to use in therapy. I have CPTSD, he has minor depression and self worth issues. We are just starting marriage therapy. We are working together on skills we can use right now...

So I was told I had PTSD really bad by my college psychiatrist. I don't know how I felt about that. I cannot take any meds accept a low, low dose of klonopin and that is only when I really, really need it. My story is more rare for psych meds. I have heard far more stories of meds helping. Also...

@Rain it sounds like you are really working through some things. You were a good mom in many ways. I am not sure about your whole story. I can hear you going back and forth between what you did well and also that you failed them. This sounds a little bit extreme or black and white. Maybe you...

This is all very wise. I think the "just barely" is key. I like thinking of this in terms of foot holds. I often times think I should be perfect. And that was a destructive thing with my mother. She had a narcissistic perfectionism which I can almost feel within myself, but not fully realized...

Thanks for your response and for saying you struggle with this too. This post was an exercise in vulnerability while at the same time having some pride. I think if there is to be any change from generation to the next in terms of trauma and abuse, there has to be deep introspection or a sort of...

So, one thing my T told me that you could say to you kids is: I am so lucky that I get to be your mamma. Other phrases I use are: I love that about you. You are strong. You can handle this. I love hearing your stories. I really love your ideas. You make me happy. You can google, "positive...

So, I have been thinking a lot about this as I have been in therapy. My mother is at the core of all my trauma. She held a narcissistic bond with me and used emotional abuse, enmeshment, and covert sexual abuse on me. She allowed others to physically harm me. But, she was in an idealized...

I am sorry. You will figure this out

I don't think his response has to do with your past abuse. That may be what he says or what he blames. He is making an excuse for his behavior and blaming you. Belittling you and threats of harm to your kids is not something that is justifiable or explainable other than the fact that he is...

I agree that a therapist could really help. It sounds like the issues that can be addressed are the anxiety/fear/intimacy issues. How are you now? How are you functioning now? Chances are, addressing issues and building skills may trigger some memories. Perhaps you could also process the...

Yeah, so I think this is the most likely scenario. When ever I freak about my T, I always use "check the facts". She never seemed very focused on her rate. I am at a sliding scale already and she has never seemed concerned/focused on the money. I think that for the past 2 weeks I did not know...

So, I just saw my T after taking a week off on Tues. I talked to her about my decision to keep seeing her. I mentioned this post and how much people helped me. I told her I was excited and willing to invest in working with her and that I am deciding to take more risks because of this. She said...

I am trying to start a side business selling art.

Insomnia could mean the inability to stay asleep, so maybe you have it a little bit. It sounds to me like you may have intermittent insomnia at worst and most likely just poor sleep at times that fluctuates into good sleep. Insomnia really can mean NOT sleeping at all, the classic laying awake...

Yes, I agree. This is the most important. I do not want guilt/indecision to get in the way of my therapy.

So, I do have out of network benefits. I am using them. They cover the cost at 60 percent, but only after a 2,500 deductible has been met. The other issue is that they will deny claims over and over again before accepting them. I am going to use an app that handles this claim process, but then...

So, I think the best steps to take in being vulnerable with your T is just with baby steps. Treat it like exposure therapy in increments. I like to use DBT combined with Brene Brown. She says the antidote to shame is vulnerability. So then think about the DBT page on shame. Notice when you feel...

Yep. That really helps a lot. You really do get this! I will remember that.

I mentioned above this feeling of paying my T to love me. I don't know how to get around this. I know the "love" I am referring to is therapeutic. I define it as validation, being seen and heard. And she does it deeply with me, it is specific. She really listens and remembers and uses this like...

So I think that with pregnancy, there is always a part of your plan that you have to do without. For example, I got to have a vaginal birth, but struggled with breast feeding and had to use formula which made breast feeding even harder and this was deeply distressing. But I had a friend who had...

I can totally relate to this. I like the point you make about big, sound and important purchases like a good hair cut and lasting shoes can cause guilt. I was denied many "needs" as a kid over and over again so now I can be polar opposites with money. I will purchases things to make myself feel...