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Thanks @blackemerald1 I’ve been learning how to minimize my blood-sugar spikes and how to convert from a sugar-burner to a body-fat burner and this has been the key. I very rarely feel hungry on keto. And after the first two weeks it becomes easy to maintain. I also have the advantage of living...

During my childhood, I had feared that there were big black shadowy shapes (imaginary monsters) within the darkness beneath my bed. There were times at night when I’d feared stepping out of my bed for fear a hand might reach out a grab my foot. I’d also feared the shadowy darkness within my...

The big, black, shadowy mass I can relate to — but then, I can’t recall nor have I ever imagined a monster sexually grabbing me nor showing any sexual interest in me. Within a few nightmares a monster had grabbed me, yet even then, its wasn’t sexual. But then when I’ve sometimes been sexually...

When my sister and mother were killed in the auto accident, I’d completely stopped eating. Only later the following evening had I realized that I hadn’t consumed any food nor water. I think I must have been stuck in dissociation. Weeks later, I’d often prepare my meals yet forget to eat them...

I’ve been on Keto for 6 months now, yet this doesn’t seem to effect my dissociation. My sleep quality has noticeably improved however, perhaps because keto has greatly eased my relentless feelings of hunger. It’s not easy to fall asleep when hungry. My first two weeks on keto were difficult...

Thank you for your info @Sideways I might be getting ahead of myself in looking for answers for my CES. Last year my PCP suggested I see a neurologist after noticing abnormal leg reflexes. My neurologist then ordered an MRI of my neck, then my leg EMG, now the lumbar MRI. Muscle strength...

Because my recent EMG testing diagnosed chronic nerve root disfunction at L5-S1, I’m wondering if this might be related to my many years of unexplainable cardiovascular abnormalities, bradycardia and incomplete heart-block — tests found no cause. I’ve had no back injuries and very little back...

I would say that, the invisible, faceless and formless monsters are the most frightening. How would one fight or flee from them. I can certainly relate @Freddyt As for myself, I haven’t been able shake the brief that my invisible monster is silently approaching me from behind with the...

I’m wondering, if, my many frightening panic attacks might had been the 'painful' after-effect of my many non-contact sexual abuse experiences by my father. These random panic attacks, seemed to occur from out of nowhere. Interestingly, these ended around the same time my father’s sexual abuse...

Yes, I suspect I have felt the pain of my abuse and only afterwards, due to the ending of my dissociation. In regards to my own CSA, which I suspect, had always been entirely non-contact abuse by my father — I have no memories of physical pain nor of never being touched inappropriately...

When in my 20s to early 30s, I only rarely and briefly felt suicidal and perhaps only when alone and dissociating. During my dissociation, I’d felt as though nothing were real, including myself. My self-preservation then seemed totally meaningless. Just like my many panic attacks, my...

I’d suspect that, the artist’s inner voice is quite necessary to guide them through the creative process. This inner voice might also help the artist develop the skills to manage their many conflicting inner voices and opinions. As one who paints, I realize that a decision must be made at some...

Hi @felecula My simplest answer is no. I've always only heard my own inner voice -- however, I'll try to explain. My PCP added Dissociative Episodes to my medical records a few years ago, after my brain surgery hospitalized (5wks). Someone removed schizophrenia from my records at that time...

I’m been using the Keto diet for more than three months now and have lost over 25 pounds. I’m only eating two meals per day (no processed nor canned foods, very little salt) with a minimum of carbs. In between meals it’s filtered tap water — sometimes with added apple cider vinegar or my most...

I’d suspect that, initially, every living creature might seem monstrous to a child. Yet I can’t recall myself as every being traumatized when viewing unfamiliar animals for the first time. If such traumas were likely, I’d suspect that young children might be denied admission to zoos. However...

I’ve often drawn intuitively from my imagination yet, never entered art therapy. But during my early 20s my imaginary drawing would evoke too much anxiety. I was fearful of my subconscious mind and that it might reveal something that I didn’t want to know about myself. However, my more...

When a piece of artwork greatly excites me, it isn’t the artwork itself that contains this energy. The artwork itself is actually only an external inanimate physical object or perhaps, vibrating pattern, if music, or whatever. This ‘wow factor’ is actually only me experiencing myself. And if...

I would agree with your T, in that, you were so totally involved in expressing your feelings while sculpting. In other words, I suspect, you were deeply connected to both the making of your artwork and to your own feelings, during that same time. In so doing, your artwork then becomes an...

I agree, music is very therapeutic. I had been playing my piano almost every night after both my parents and younger sister had suddenly and unexpectedly died. Playing piano in the dark at home was fine with me, since I’m unable to read sheet music anyway, due to my reading aphasia. Yeah, music...

@LittleBigFoot The more meaningful artworks are created by those who understand that, their personal connection to their artwork is the only valid communication during their creative process. When you’re focused on listening to these inner negative criticisms from others, these thoughts will...

Of the five or more T that, I’ve had since age 20, none of my T asked me about my sexual fantasies nor did I ever bring up my sexual fantasies to them. My T likely knew I wasn’t often sexually active. So, they just never asked. Then too, I’d assume that, my sexual fantasies would be a different...

Oh thank you for explaining @Skywatcher. I misunderstood. You might want to keep a journal about these rooms in your 'dream house.' I've never kept a dream journal, myself, as very rarely will I remember them. When I was hospitalize during my bran tumor surgery a few years ago, I was told that I...

As I’ve previously mentioned my fear involving doorways, closets and cave entrances, in this thread, my home's darkened windows when viewed at night also heighten my anxieties. As long as I can see through these windows to the outside world during the day I’m fine. Yet, at night their blackened...

Your monsters or haunting experiences are very different from mine. Mine basically reside within my own mind where I'm unable to move away from them. However in your case, I'd move to another house if I were you, if that's an option. Life is too difficult as it is without having to experience...

For me, these frightening monsters might resemble a very dark blurry cloud or dark empty space or dark opening that seems to gradually enlarge or drift towards me. I’ll begin to fear that it might engulf me or consume me within its own space. During one childhood nightmare, I can recall...