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Welcome! So glad you're here! Great job! -Hockeygrl

Friday, I wanted you to know that I have gone back and re-read this a few times. I'm sorry I haven't said anything until now. But I think you've hit the head on the nail! This, to me is the true definition of joy (through choice). Thank you so much for your reply!

Thank you all for such wonderful feedback. Right now, my situation is pretty tough. In a nutshell I have had to cut out my entire family, as well as begin the separation process (from my husband). I have essentially decided that for the first time in my life, I can either fall apart, or rise. I...

Thank you sweet gizmo! Great advice! ☺️

The title is what I need help with. I want to be happy, but I'm honestly not sure if I know how (or where to really start)? I finally recognize that this is my life and I can live it how I want to (and how I could -because I don't use the word "should", to best love myself). I feel so depressed...

Thank you for the encouragement.

I'll take any advice you're willing to offer. I am fighting, but I am always open to more solutions.

I have experienced weight issues on Abilify. Crazily enough, I never had a weight problem on Lithium, in fact I rarely had an appetite at all as long as I was on Lithium for the 9+ years I was on it (I never should have been put on it to begin with, but thats another long story). Anyway, I have...

Friday, Thank you so much for your reply. You are so wise, and incredibly helpful in all of your replies. I appreciate you! Yes, it was more of a venting end statement, but You are SO Right on this- TWO Completely Separate goals (Goal's I'm not even sure I'm necessarily trying to achieve, at...

Seamonkey, I was diagnosed about 4 months before I was married. (2013) I have never really, in detail shared my story here (or anywhere/with anyone) Besides, 2 counselors. I am so sorry for what you have endured, and what you are currently going through. I cannot even imagine. :(

All I know is that I cant take it anymore. Its not that I don't want to, its that I literally can't physically, emotionally, and mentally take it anymore. I have gone 30 years (my current age) without having a single need truly met (other than from myself, and my own efforts). My family treated...

Oh! I forgot to mention! What a cute kitty you have! :)

Hi Bingley! Thank you so much for sharing. The best two books I always recommend to just about everyone are: "COMPLEX PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving", By: Pete Walker, and my favorite book: "You Can Heal Your Life", By: Louise Hay. These two books have helped me tremendously in my healing and...

Choice

Wow, that was incredibly well written! I really appreciate your willingness to be so transparent (I know it's pretty hard to do most of the time, but especially about hard stuff). I commend your courage! Welcome to the forum! :)

Friday, I re-read this today. It has been very very tough lately. What I want to know is what you mean by "team"? I only have one friend here in the state that I live in. I am separating from my husband, and while i have spent the majority of my life alone, I am terrible at it. Where can I...

JuneBug, Thank you so much for your caring reply and advice as well.

Friday, I just wanted to say thank you so much for taking the time to offer such wonderful advice.

Thank you for your thoughts, LuckyDuck. I appreciate it.

Most days, as of late, I feel that I don’t want to live anymore. I have no way out anymore. I don’t want to kill myself, but it seems thats the only way misery will stop. I refuse to be a punching bag for life. For everyone to just keep wasting my existence (which I have come to learn is...

I love EDM :)

Friday, what a great perspective! ::hugs::

Yes. I am probably going to double up and do in person therapy too. Is that messed up? Having two different T's? lol maybe it will be good to have two perspectives! haha

Katiee, I am really sorry you're feeling all of this. Its tough enough to go through what we do on a daily basis, trying to find comfort, trying to heal, but I get that there is so much more to it all- especially the *noise* between our ears that produces even more feelings, and that those...

This entire post is just ramblings of things going through my head. I would love some help sorting all of this out. This forum is the only place I have to turn besides my husband, who is no doubt completely engulfed by this (me) as well. We moved 1300 miles (2 states) away from both of our...