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Yes this was something I've spoken with T about. Initially I didn't think he had any responsibility in it simply because he was a child. Having worked through with T why that isn't the case, I do now accept he had some level of responsibility/ culpability. Not the same as an adult. But some...

Thanks @Ubergirl ... sometimes a simple sentence can stick out at you and you go 'Yeah, that's how it was'. And that's validating. 🙏 I have a few different aged parts who carry shame. Some as young as 2/3. I have parts which carry shame from separate csa events in my life, nothing to do with...

I guess only by being taught about it explicitly? I've read about this a bit. In today's society in the UK, there's a push for parents (rightly so) to be teaching children about bodily boundaries. About what difficult feelings are and when and how to say no. I've even found and read books to...

I don't want to go too off topic here so will just say this quickly. Wanted to ask you @Midnightmoon if you know about the potential for being referred to various NHS funded dissociative disorder assessment/ treatment clinics in the UK (funding depends on your local commissioning body)? There...

Me too.

So interesting.... and sooo complex .. it's just all such a head f*ck ... So I guess what we're saying is, all trauma has the capacity to change the person's identity on some level... whether that be never allowing it to develop healthily in the first place, or by breaking it even if it was...

I have a very basic understanding of this topic (really interesting thread btw). So please don't read too much into what I say - just thinking out loud. And I may be waaaaay off. But I've come to think of the broad difference between PTSD and CPTSD in terms of developmental identity trauma...

Thanks @sidptitala ... this is a good question and it's one I've pondered a few times without really fully understanding it...I do see that it doesn't serve me in many ways but there is a part of me which obviously feels it's necessary to hold on to... and I haven't totally understood why...

Yeah absolutely and imo what you've said here applies to all 8-12 year olds... Thank you @scout86 that means alot... sometimes going through stuff so openly on posts (which I'm doing more and more) feels a bit like shooting myself in the foot, for the feelings it stirs up and the opportunity...

Thanks @scout86 ... interesting to hear different people's views... I'm in agreement that it's not normal. I'm pretty set that, for kids of any of those ages I gave, it isn't normal to be having sex with each other and that if they are, there's been a crack in either or both of their up...

Disconnected With everything and everyone around you

Ok I have thought about this before with a former T. That was her take on it as well. I found it hard to reason that my parents were at fault. My dad lived somewhere completely different at the time. Though given his track record as a father , if he'd have lived with us at the time, it would...

Ah ok thanks for clarifying.. yes that makes sense... No not at all..I don't see that as derailing... it's all the same thing... discussing these things is important to see how we're not alone... If you feel comfortable only though..

Yes, tutus and bozo slippers, whip and chair handy... brilliant... she needs to be lower than me... and she also needs humiliating, as she liked do to me, as a form of entertainment... maybe she needs to jump through the ring a few times... Thank you for offering this perspective...I can see...

Thanks for saying this...I have seen posts written about cocsa here where I can see others' well- meaning posts have glossed over or down played the issues at play... none of us have the exact experience of others here - always parallels... but it's important we don't claim to know more about...

yes I know this well. It's a never ending loop. It won't ever get you anywhere. It's very destructive... I think this is crucial... it has been for me... when I've been at my worst, this thought pattern has been at the centre of everything... it is really worth while jumping out of it and...

Interesting that it helped you. That makes sense from a having no one to stick up for you. At the time when T suggested it, I immediately had a bit of a threat response as I thought it would make the part/ voice stronger which I'd have to deal with, without him alone. But this part has...

I love this... One of my abusers (not overtly sexual, but covertly and highly emotionally abusive) was my dad's partner. I think the image you've used here is perfect for her. She had such vitriol towards me growing up from very young. And although she's in her mid 80s now, part of me is still...

I haven't really. I very much relate to alot you say here and can't offer too many words of wisdom I'm sorry. I had a bad relationship in my teens with him. I was very scared of going to stay with him (parents were divorced) but I thought my feelings were wrong because I was 'mistaken'...

Thanks @arfie ... this is interesting to me because my own therapists, and I hear generally on the grape vine, that we should be treating those more difficult voices/ parts with understanding (they played an important protector role), and to try to treat them with compassion... my own T...

TThanks @Sideways .. Yeah I think this is the bit I'm struggling with... the part which logic and understanding doesn't reach... it's like 'Sorry, different part of the brain here. Don't hear or understand what this explanation is'. That driving force you're talking of is the hard one to...

Been deliberating whether to think about this, let alone post about it. But it keeps surfacing and knocking at my door strongly in the last 3 days. Think it is because I read about the need to accept when abuse happens to you. That it's abuse. If only parts of it were that simple. I have one...

This is great 😊 I think you're doing great... Just keep going, one step at a time... and if you have a bad day, just remember to tell yourself, it's just that. Just 1 bad day. Everyone has bad days. And things do evolve and change. Easier said than done. But you're already doing the hard...

Oooh you know about... I'm going to look up some of the ones I haven't heard of... thanks!

Thanks! I'm going to give it a go... May have to look up an instructional video on YouTube 🤣 Always up for a new card game!!