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For me, it's the dad who does this shit to me. And maybe the brother, but I get muddled thinking about that. And what you said about acting stupid, I need to think on. I think that explains one of my defense mechanisms. That is so true This is so completely the truth. I remember getting an...

Hard to know, without having all the context, but I'd have found it slightly odd. But I completely agree with Movingforward. Since she moved on with her questions I wouldn't find it that odd. And it might be good to explore why you are still thinking about it.

Thank you all, your replies have been helpful. I felt relief at the idea I don't have to forgive. I wonder why I feel I have to forgive? The first thing that comes to mind is my family told me I have to. Sigh. Acceptance...hmm... What does acceptance look like? I may have to think about...

I know it's come up before, but it's been a while since a thread has been made on this subject. My T and I were talking about forgiveness, specifically regarding my dad. He didn't just abuse me, he abused my brother and mother. He abused animals. I don't know if I can forgive that. I told my...

Of course. Sigh. So yeah, I know. I should extend the same caring to me. umm.. ok. If my needs impinge upon other people, I'm too needy? I don't know. I guess I feel like I should be able to resolve things myself. If i'm involving other people that's a problem. Also if my needs just get too...

Dealing with an alcoholic is hard. It's so easy to get hurt and entangled. I think on some level you probably know, it's not as straight forward as him choosing the drink over you. When there's addiction happening, thinking is distorted and it's so easy to slide back into the disease.

I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago. Like SRG said, you get good at watching your finances like a hawk. You adjust. But the burden of now having that crushing debt makes it worthwhile. Not sure where you live but there are a lot of resources out there. Debt counseling and stuff. Just make sure you go...

Ugh. Hate birthdays. Sorry you are struggling. Say more when you can.

Thank you all for your replies. My brain is being dumb. I feel like I can't ask for pain meds. That I will be too needy or come across as med seeking if I do. Great tips about the anesthesiologist. I will definitely talk to them. I also need to tell them I get super nauseous after anesthesia...

Sorry about your back, Friday Goat for today- Don't push too hard.

Well, this morning I decided to make a list of things I need to do prior to surgery and work up a schedule and stuff. (I am a planner). And I did that. And right now the anxiety is on over drive. The list of things I need to do is long but I am ok with it. I have a plan. Then I got to the list...

Congratulations. It's such a scary thing to do. And it's such a relief to be able to be your true self. I also have zero regrets

ever since I was a young kid, I've wanted to open up an animal rescue. I'd specialize in special needs pets and put my veterinary nurse skills to use. So that dream never goes away. Right now? I'd settle for paying off my medical bills. Being able to buy groceries, gas, meds and such without...

Well, after a lot of waiting and appointments and frustrations I finally have surgery scheduled! It will be July 5th. My best friend is coming up for the first week. She will be in my house while am the hospital to take care of my animals. That's a huge relief. And I should only be in the...

Thanks everyone. Your responses were about what I suspect. I appreciate it. That's a good idea Of course. To clarify, I've had suspicions but have kept an open mind. I had said nothing to him about what I suspected. The reason I brought this up here, now, is because a few sessions his T...

Yes, I have very much experienced that. It's a hard feeling. I'm not sure if I've really dealt with it. I think I've probably mostly repressed the feeling. No, you are not. I guess I have worked through this part. You are being abusive or dysfunctional to them. So you aren't contributing. And...

My boyfriend started therapy recently and it seems likely he has PTSD. I suspect he is going to need support as he starts his journey. This site has been so helpful to me and I thought about telling him about it. It might be awkward though, if we are both users. I have talked about him in my...

I've been following along (low on words), but I'll agree it sounds like you handled it well. And I would find the whole thing strange and unsettling if I was in your shoes.

I had the appointment with my surgeon today. I agreed to the spinal fusion. I don't know why, but I feel like melting down. Like now it's a reality. At the same time, the surgery isn't scheduled because I need insurance approval. And so I can't plan anything. And honestly, fusion scare the wits...

Completely understand where you are coming from. It's so hard and draining. Be gentle on yourself and try and find some good distractions.

I am so sorry you went through that. And I hope you can take on JoeyLittle's wise words. My father sexually abused me and I used to always do the comparing thing. It starts as a self-protection but it really interferes with healing. What matters is that harm was done to you. That someone in...