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Exactly, that´s what I am getting at. I feel like there are people who deserve a type of intimacy and people who don´t. I am not going to share my whole intimate life with an acquaintance who isn´t ready to open up on their part. Interesting suggestion by your therapist... you would find...

I can agree that friendships don´t happen overnight. The friends that I made in the past, it took a little while but they were always engaged, in the sense that they were curious about me and actively wanted to invest themselves in a friendship with me. The thing is I am not getting any...

Ok, so... I have a problem. I have never really had a lot of close friends. Mostly because I have moved around a lot (I counted my moves a while ago, more than fifteen times so far). There are people that would make good close friends, but they all live at a distance and I just don´t see...

Thanks Junebug, Your logic helped me feel better, because yes it´s an accomplishment to me. I would love it if he could see that too, but then again maybe ten months are not enough to understand the stuff in my head. I can imagine it seeming contradictory to him. I said I really wanted to be...

If you feel that starting there is good, then starting there is good. Deciding what YOU want versus what everybody else suggests you could do, also builds self-worth ;) My perspective is based on my experience, and my experience is I had to grow into an adult first. The inner child came out...

"Recovered" is a big word, but I would consider myself recovered. In the sense that 75% of the PTSD is gone. I still have that diagnosis but at the moment I would classify myself as "anxiety disorder" more. That´s not to say it can´t come back. Lessons I can share Stop thinking that your...

Thanks. I´m aware why it is. I think I also know how to put an end to the cycle. It´s just the how I do that, which is hard for people.

This is an important question. Because self-worth is closely tied up with what is valuable to you, and then sticking to what´s valuable to you. And if you can´t do that, then look for what traits you admire in others. The reason you admire them in others is usually that you recognize them. If...

"dyeing your beard a shit color by mistake" #justboythings "feeling like a wild mountainman in the city park" #justboythings "skipping the barber shop and looking like a mushroom" #justboythings

Great Rolemodels Implement Enlightenment Very Eloquently WDYMBT

That´s a good idea. I have friendships where there is no such dependency (not to that degree) so I can compare. The main difference is it´s much easier for me in healthy friendships to put them in the back of my mind. Whereas if I feel emotionally dependent on somebody I will think about...

I don´t know. Sometimes I feel like I´m not capable of it. I don´t think he wants more, we tried to be "close" friends at the beginning (six months ago or so) but he was too busy with his kids and his work to be able to have any type of close friendship, which is why I tried to distance myself...

Thanks. I apologized to him for the way I turned away. I have a tendency to be very aprubt about it and I guess it makes sense that he sees it as something personal. I know all relationships require interdependence but the dependency I feel (on him, too) is particularly unhealthy, it makes...

Hey @blackemerald1 , thanks for your response. I don´t really see it that way. I can see where you are coming from though. It´s a different perspective, I am mostly stuck in the perspective that I consider best for me. My main thing is I told him from the beginning that I have issues with...

Hey there, I´m in a bit of a weird situation. I´ve had one supporter who is very loyal, now for about ten months. He doesn´t know me very well yet but he´s one of the most supportive people I ever encountered. There was one goal I had been working on even before I encountered him, which was...

Dances With Goats

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Maybe I should let him... knock himself out... (I´ll show myself out)

Thanks, that helps :-) I often feel like I "should" do something due to pressure from without - like the pressure from this guy to open the door :P It feels better to just stick to my own needs.

I am just going to drop off some frustration. I live in shared housing. Meaning that we have the same landlord, but I don´t really know the other people in the place. We share the bathroom and kitchen, though I tend to prepare food in my own studio so I don´t really see them. Since last...

I´m not. I might listen to some more Marillion. And wonder what I want for the next year. I wish all of you a good ending of the year and a lot of light in the next one.

Thanks NatBird. You didn´t go on too long. It´s helpful. I ended up sending an email to my closest friends, telling them I have changed but I could use some more help in that department. But I have my doubts as to whether that´ll work - after all they are just words on paper, when what I...

I´m not sure that would work - I´m very wary of unequal/asymmetrical power dynamics, and the relationship with my or any therapist involves some of that. There are very few people I trust fully, ideally it´d be great if they helped me, but I´m not sure how - and the idea scares me senseless...

Hi peeps. I have a question for those of you who have childhood trauma(s). I´m assuming you also have problems with intimacy. This is the case for me, and I kept people at a distance for a long long time, but I really want to be able to get closer to them now. Meaning closer in the sense...