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Woah, thank you so much for the thorough response. Gonna read it more in detail. I didn’t know any of this!

I haven’t really been known as a “good sleeper”. I struggled as a kid to fall asleep, as a teenager I was borderline nocturnal, staying up all night and sleeping or napping during the day (but this was more to get peace, I wanted to be alone and was very creative during that time). I was...

I didn’t know dbt is effective with treating bpd. I’ve heard bpd doesn’t get better, but I’ll look into it. The latter you talk about is trauma splitting/structural disassociation, right?

Yes, I meant it as an example. I know you can get CPTSD from different kinds of trauma than child abuse. But combat ptsd is different than cptsd from child abuse because of the “rage valve” I remember reading it on this forum how combat ptsd has that mechanism to fight enemies but back home they...

I see combat ptsd as it’s own type, personally. I’m aware it’s not one event at all, but it’s also really not the same as CPTSD from child abuse. I think of single event ptsd as like you were raped one time as an adult, you were held hostage at an armed robbery, or you were in a car accident...

I really don’t care if cptsd gets added to the dsm. There’s already treatment plans and therapists that know how “cptsd” and “single event ptsd” are somewhat different. They know the difference when you tell them you were abused for 17 years vs. having been in a care accident once. I don’t think...

This is not how someone who’s “gotten over their trauma acts/reacts”. It kinda sounds like the relationship is over unless she seriously decides to put forth the effort to communicate and improve things with you in general. Your needs are fine and valid and her being traumatized doesn’t excuse...

Thank you 😭😭😭 I used to read a lot of stuff for fun about being married to someone with adhd and a lot of people had really negative views on it. Especially when they didn’t understand adhd, so when they met and fell in love and the adhd person is all taking you on adventures and hyper fixated...

I love that about this forum, it’s a great resource and also amazing community. It’s amazing too how you can see how others have gotten through some of their issues. Some mental health spaces don’t really have anyone that’s gotten better and it makes it seem hopeless.

You’re right that women don’t really do the same as “gamer girls”. Guys really can get addicted to video games, especially with adhd, it’s about the way they are structured to go up levels, it’s a challenge to improve and it’s a clear system where you get rewarded when you do well and if you...

That’s all very true lol. I’m not really looking forward to all the triggers and flashbacks that are going to be associated with childhood/parenting. But we’ll figure it out. I’ve done the process you describe with other triggers before and it’s very effective, but it takes a long time and...

We’re gonna be able to manage this well, I feel good about it. It’s crazy being so effortlessly transported to some kind of neglect/abandonment moment as a child and not really able to get out of it on my own. But yeah that’s ptsd for ya.

The fact that he has adhd doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I think my brother has adhd too (undiagnosed but my mom taught him to manage it well) so I grew up around it. Makes me chuckle when I see stuff like “adhd ruined my marriage”, it’s like seriously? Like I don’t fetishize adhd but...

I’m sorry to hear your relationship was ruined over it. You’re so right how that shit haunts you… like you can’t really escape it. We work through a lot of stuff. He’s always really kind and supportive, and he listens when I bring things up or say I’m being triggered. This won’t end us, but...

That’s true enough haha, I guess I was overly optimistic. Yeah, I see marriage as a journey and as long as you keep working at it and your partner does too it’ll be successful. (Saving bad marriages with dv or the like). This kind of stuff is just stuff you work through, improve what you can...

It definitely helps but won’t “shut her up” lines instantly or anything, but it would help you deal with it. It may not change your treatment with that therapist, but if you get diagnosed with something you don’t expect (that’s an accurate diagnosis) you may choose to change your treatment...

Pros: -better understanding of what you’re dealing with -able to make an actionable plan to treat what you have if you know what you have -validation (this was huge for me, I grew up constantly being told I was manipulative for crying, belittled, gaslit, etc, being given a diagnosis helped me...

I definitely think this is part of it. If you read my update, he said he has this sense of “getting in time to game now that he can”. He knows if he spends time with me before gaming, he may not get to game. But I’m kinda like **face palm** Sunday nights he games with friends online from like...

Update: We were driving home for an hour and I discussed it with him. I cried a lot lol. He said he feels like he won’t get enough time to himself so he kinda “hoards it”. He knows he won’t be able to game as much with the baby (I call bs, I know we’ll have similar struggles with having the...

Hey. It’s been A WHILE. Lol. I’m married now, and pregnant (somewhere in my second trimester). I’ve been married for a little over six months and pregnant for a little over five months. I’ve been depressed for a couple months (probably longer), but not like Major Depressive Disorder, not the...

I think some people don't get to the planning stage and that's probably a good thing, but then again it depends on how impulsive you are. But I have known people that didn't really plan and weren't impulsive enough to kill themselves so they just worked on improving their mindset.

I like how these are more practical

Excellent ideas, thank you Friday Also, you changed your profile picture and it's throwing me off! hahaha But seriously, I like those ideas

Thank you for your insight and your words, it’s good to hear

I know a lot of CSA survivors deal with this. But damn it's hard. I have core beliefs that if I say no to sex, it'll be worse for me (because my abuser manipulated me a lot, like if I didn't do what he wanted, he would say I didn't love him, and shit, he was my dad and I was abused from toddler...