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not sure how im going to pay my mom's bills. pretty sure I can't use her money from disability or ssi even though she got it on the 3rd, and died on the 4th.
was gonna say something else but I forgot 🤔
It's just quiet. Very very quiet.
Can't shake the feeling that I never stopped having a breakdown. My boss triggered me so badly in 2022, and stuff leading up to that was so spirit crushing, I just haven't had anything left.
I have had undercooked little caesar's in the oven for two hours...
It is portrayed that way a lot, but I think a big reason for it isn't brainwashing as much as culture. The current modern world needs evidence to trust things.
I have a scientist background. so. I just didn't see evidence that was unshakable before then, i guess.
I wish they had had security...
I haven't been able to cook a single meal since my mom passed away. I thought it was because I don't like my mom's kitchen (which makes me sad because she always hated how small that kitchen was and how it has no storage space and sucks and then my dad ruined whatever positives it DID once...
Thank you ❤️
Her house feels so empty without her. It was nice seeing her friends and family at the celebration of life service. She is dearly loved
I got COVID from the social gathering, so I have lots of time to rest because after I found out, I stopped visiting the family from out of...
It was very difficult watching her do the breathing gasps of a dying person. I slept on a sleeping bag on the floor of the hospital that night. She made it to morning but she had stopped gasping. I knew it was over the night before, though, and I know that that type of breathing isn't painful or...
Lion passed away even younger. You can just find it to be your time at any age. Children death is the worst but yeah, any age. Life is an interesting experience
I'm just so worried that her death would have been prevented if id paid better attention. This is also how my aunt felt when her wife passed away. I imagine it's common even without the presence of OCD making it worse. Just trying to remember that my mom deserved the independence she wanted and...
My OCD + chronic guilt really really wants me to use anxiety/survival instincts to find what I did wrong that lead to my mom's death.
I would live in a thousand times the filth to have her back :(
Thank you
I am so glad I always took all my anger out here and not with her. I was so afraid of hurting her that even saying angry things here bothered me, but she never knew about them and hopefully won't find out (do angels get wifi?)
I would stay in an uncomfortable place forever to have her back. But I am at least happy she is at peace. And I hope she knows I love her so much and that she meant the world to me