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Hi everyone, I've not been on in a long time. Everything has spiralled and I'm just starting to come out. I have recently found talking is difficult. If I put myself in to work mode I am generally ok but at work I am in control. Outside of work I struggle to speak to the point I have given up...

My partner has been struggling a lot lately. Over the last year we have grown close until the relationship moved further. She has been going through a lot with a lot of pain related to her menstrual cycle. She is finally pain free due to an implant but is now facing the likelihood of a...

According to my auto correct! I was having a bad day and tried to tell my friend I was struggling with hyper vigilance but my new, untrained, phone decided to change it to iguana. I only noticed once I sent it. The ensuing laughter it caused really helped my day! I thought I'd share.

I went out today to collect 12 one day old quail chicks. They are just so cute! I have a deal with the breeder that she will take back any males and trade for females but it means I get the fun of raising my own. They really are very small. I thought a couple of photos might make people smile.

Before I start therapy I have to complete a course on PTSD to help me understand what I am going through. I started it yesterday, most people do it as a group but it was felt I was better off one on one. The first appointment we covered symptoms and discussed which ones I can relate to. I also...

My friend has just popped up for lunch. I've been having a bad morning as there is a dog show and fete being held next door to my house. I have had to shut all the windows and doors to block out the noise of people. I am really struggling to keep calm or at least I was until my friend got here...

I had a different flashback today, one where I was punished for speaking and told to shut up repeatedly. My friend came to help me while I was in the flashback, she brought me back but even afterwards I couldn't speak. The noises around me were too loud and I couldn't speak, every time I tried...

I received a phone call today from the trauma service. My friend had called and told them she was worried about me and she wanted to know how much longer I had to wait for help. It has spurred them in to gear and I now have my first appointment on the 25th June. It is with the doctor that...

As the title says I had a flashback at work today. I had one at lunchtime when I was at home then got up and dragged myself back down to work, I thought it had passed. I ended up speaking to my friend in the staff room but something triggered another flashback. It was only myself and my friend...

When I was at my assessment the doctor had me hold a stress ball and a bottle of lemon scent. I kept having flashbacks and he talked me through using the stress ball or the scent. We came to the decision that I was better with the ball than the scent from a grounding point of view. I think I...

All along I have tried so hard to keep going but today is too much. I have a Doctors appointment this morning and then straight after that I have a meeting with HR. I am in such state already even the dogs coming for attention is too much. My heart is pounding. I just want to disappear...

I have found lately that I am struggling to remember conversations with people, even if I have just had it. Sometimes I will remember if something nudges my brain in to it, for instance I had forgotten about being told the BT engineer would be coming out to the house today until he showed up...

I'm terrified, the last meeting did not go well... More can be found here on that - https://www.myptsd.com/threads/just-lost-my-support-network.41602/#post-675845 It's not until Thursday. I am doing better at work not but I will be on my own in there as well as having to run the place on my...

Does anybody else get them? I have regular short flashbacks, snippets of time but I have also had the occasional big flashback where I relive a large portion of the main trauma I went through (sorry I am not good at writing the word). For a few days before I get warnings, a pressure on my...

I am curious as to who here have told their families about their PTSD? I have had several people comment to me that it is surprising that my family do not know what is going on with me at the moment. I generally reply I have my reasons and refuse to say more. The main reason is that my Dad...

Or maybe I should say exit. Wherever I am I have to be able to see any exits from the room. I can sit with my back to the door but I get very stressed when I do and find it hard to concentrate on anything until I can move to a position where I can see the exit. Where I sit in my house I can...

I am not one for opening up. In fact if my problems had not been affecting my work I would never have told anyone. Two people know what is going on and see me regularly, my manager and my colleague. They have both checked in on me regularly, instigating 75% of outside work communications. I have...

I have debated starting one of these and decided that given I most often use writing as an outlet it would be beneficial to me to share my thoughts without burdening just one person with my troubles. I wrote this as a way to explain to a friend how I felt, to give them an incite in to me. I...

Two weeks after seeing my doctor for the first time I finally received a call from the MH team. They asked a bunch of questions that just pushed me to the edge then said they were referring me to the trauma service and I should expect a letter in the next few weeks. That was that, done. I am...

I had a night of nightmares. Over and over I saw what happened to me. Normally this just leaves me exhausted and numb the next day but this morning I woke up with cuts all up and down my arms. They are jagged but don't look like I used my nails. I have never self harmed although recently I have...

I didn't manage to speak at first instead I just handed over my notes of how I have been and my managers letter with list of symptoms I have been displaying. The doctor read it and then asked me questions, she was brilliant in that she seemed to realise when she pushed to hard and she backed...

I have just been sent home from work. About 3 weeks ago I stopped coping, my brain stopped pretending everything was ok and my ability to deal with the world has gradually disappeared. Through all of this my manager has been great, she has supported me, advised me and pushed me to seek help...

Hello, I have not been diagnosed with PTSD but it has been suggested by others that it might be the root of my problems. I cannot talk about what happened to me, I can barely even think about it but it happened five years ago when I was 19. Ever since I have been cautious of new people...