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I cut so deep I had to go to an urgent care type facility. The ER would be all night and I was afraid of pysch eval. I was not suicidal and felt a lot of shame and regret. The staff was very nice and didnt make me feel like I did something wrong. They asked if I was in distress, the Dr. said...

I'm not going into details as not to trigger, but I had a major episode and feel the shame of hiding wounds all over again. My therapist looked so worried about me it made me feel like I failed her. I've been suicidal for the last few weeks, fluctuating in severity. Same with SH, comes and goes...

I'm 3 weeks into 10mg of Prozac and it was okay, but it started to change and today I'm almost paralyzed with depression, self-harming thoughts, and lethargic beyond words. I feel so guilty for not being better by now, and so alone in keeping how I feel a secret. I know its bad, but I feel like...

My T does some therapy techniques they use with children, and it helps. She has a box of stuffed animals she wants me to hold when I'm twisting my fingers or really figetting. I said, "So, I'm like a disturbed 9 year old?" She said, "Some parts of you are." She's right... that broken boy is...

I can't stop hurting over being abandoned. Its been with me all day, and its painful - very painful. He just left me. How can you just leave your own flesh? If he really loved me, nothing could keep him away. He showed up again in my early teens and he's always treated me like I'm an idiot...

I was in a really bad place a few weeks ago. And, as it always does, its passed. I know it will return, but I'll do what I always do, cope, cry, pound my drum set, journal. I've been dealing with depression long enough to know that no matter how it feels, I do not really want to die. I just dont...

Last year when I was in the midst of unraveling I wrote a frenzied story about a guy who was where I was and it got published. I named the main character after myself, and most of the story is based on real things in my life. I'm about to publish book number 2 in June. I'm a magazine writer and...

How many, of those here, sexually abused in childhood became very promiscuous adults: To deal with the pain? Because being someone's sex object makes you feel normal? Because being loved makes you feel weird or uncomfortable?

Hi all My childhood trauma has been becoming more clear over the past year and this weekend I remembered something horrific. I'm having flashbacks along with feelings of dread, like something is going to happen to me, or the need to hit something, lash out like you would if you were in danger...

Hi everyone I've been having flashbacks and have been in a triggered state since Sunday, more feelings than memories, but I am having memories. I want to curl into a ball and disappear. I won't, but I'm not okay today. One way my sexual abuse and abandonment has manifest itself in my life is...

Hi all I've read a lot of people express their anger and I applaud them. I'm not there yet. I still can't completely put the blame where it belongs, and still turn it inward, including the blame. Its easier for me to see myself as a bad child than to accept that I had bad parents. I can say they...

Hi everyone Last time I was here, also my first, I confessed to pointing a gun to my head. Its a week later and I'm doing okay today. I didn't tell anyone about the gun, but I did talk about how depressed I am. But, today is one of those days when I'm okay. Yesterday, I was totally triggered by...

I'm new here, but not new to the issues discussed here. The only people who know I'm depressed are my wife, and my Dr. Everyone else knows, nothing about my depression, the sexual abuse I suffered, my self-harm, and being in therapy. I live my life with a facade of normalcy and control when I'm...