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I really enjoyed this book. SO and I discussed it and now he is better at giving me what I need to feel loved. He is very quiet so was always second guessing my self before this book.

My BF tells me all the time I over think and I agree. He's told me before that if he says something that's what he means and leave it at that. I'm trying to remember that.

You could ask him but honestly where is that going to get you. You already know that he lied about being out of town. I know you are having his baby butt I think you need to take a step back and focus on yourself. Do the test when YOU are ready. Enjoy this pregnancy as much as you can...

Thanks a bunch. This is really helpful.

I have to write one of these letters for my BF's PTSD claim with the VA. Does anyone have any experience with this? I'm not sure what all I need to say or what kind of format I need to use. Thanks in advance.

I LOVE this. I see this all the time on FB. It used to really get to me as my BF has such a problem with affection. I used to think what’s wrong with OUR relationship that we are not happy like THOSE people. I realized that it is just for show, because really I know those people in really life...

I'd like too say you sound to be on the right track with therapy and all. Good for you. He needs to resume treatment. As a supporter I've learned our own insecurities cause the most problems. It doesn't help that our loved ones are so closed off. I'm sorry you feel this way. I've been there.

I didn’t know what I was dealing with at the time either. Like you I got hidden. He finally told family when I was around 5 months but most friends didn’t know until after delivery. I pulled away from him. I informed him of appointments with no expectations. Surprisingly once I stopped trying so...

The reason I asked when the pics were taken was because once I asked my BF about how he handled something before PTSD and he told me "nothing is the same as before." He is a different person. He did things then that he can do now. That carefree side is hidden somewhere. It comes out sometimes...

I got pregnant before when got the PTSD diagnosis. My SO did have a hard time dealing with it. He didn’t tell his family until I was almost 5 months along. He was distant a lot of the time. I did pretty much everything regarding the baby. A lot of the time he would show up for appointments but I...

May I ask what all you know about PTSD? Some of the things you are expecting are in my opinion unrealistic. I do agree that a discussion about where you relationship is headed is a good idea but I also feel that expecting an I love you may be a little early in the game as it has been only 7...

True words here. This happens in any relationship. PTSD or not. I don’t think it’s something that we can control. We can control the magnitude of the hurt but not completely eliminate it. People are too different to not case others issues. Not sure that makes sense. This in my opinion in going...

Im sorry to hear that. You sound as if you are on the right path. Thats awesome. :)

In that case no matter how hard it is you need to respect her wishes. Continue to focus on getting you better. Stay away from the behaviors that made her feel the way she does now. Prove to her that you can and will be better for the both of you as well as the baby. Hopefully with some time she...

In my opinion no. If you have doubts the best thing is to ask her. You may also try to learn about the 5 love languages. I read the book and explained to my SO what I need to feel loved and he tries hard now to give that to me even tho it is a bit out of his comfort zone.

Being in a supporter role is so confusing. I always used to think if we didnt talk every day somthing was wrong. Some people dont need that constant interaction. I do. I take it upon myself to reach out to him. If I think Im bugging him I ask. He will either say no or I get no answer which...

Hello, I have been through what sounds like almost the same situation except I am the supporter in my relationship. Trust is such a hard thing to regain once its been lost. There are times I feel that I am all out of forgiveness and can’t continue. Somehow I stay even when its against my better...

Hello and welcome. My only advice is to gather as much knowledge as you can about PTSD. Really do your homework so that you can try to understand. With that said it is still sometimes very hard to deal with and you need to have a lot of patience. Remember to take care of yourself and continue...

@DeedeeRSM i feel that way sometimes. Like Im in the relationship with a shadow. After 4 years he still holds back so much from me. I love him and I know in my heart that he understands that he needs and loves me and this is where he should be. Sometimes he drifts but he keeps coming back...

As you already know having a baby is hard. Just imagine having one with someone who is there but not really. There are PTSD suffers who are numb. I remember feeling grateful my BF was able to bond with our daughter. I couldn't imagine a poor innocent child feeling the way I do at times. If...

@Cmac I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. It's a hard situation to be in, made even more difficult because no body in your life seems to understand. I've been through the separation period and came out somewhat ok. If you need to talk I am here for you.

Dimplesg520 I'm currently in the same situation. It seems like every year around the same time my DB gets triggered and turns to the same things. I'm sorry. I'm trying to figure out if i can get past it.

First off thanks for the input. Well I do know one thing for sure and is that Im not going anywhere just yet. I joke that Im not the leaving kind but its mostly true. I lack either the abilty or good sence to give up on him just yet. :) Snowwhite what you said made a lot of sence to me. Since...

Gingerly I completly agree with you. I often times feel that I should have stayed away the first time he tried to break it off. I followed my heart to and sometimes feel that I did this to myself. I blame me for the broken feeling. I also after 4 years am realizing that I cant change...

Hey all, Well it looks like I’m back. Not sure anyone remembers but I ended it with my suffer last June due to finding out he was talking to other women while we were living apart. Did really well I thought. Limited contact with him unless it concerned our daughter. Then our baby girl got really...