Supporter Currently In A Relationship With An Iraq War Veteran

[MoeX]

Hello,
I have been looking for an online support group for awhile now. I think I may have finally found a place.

I am currently in a relationship with an Iraq war veteran. We have been on this PTSD roller coaster for about 3 years now and I am trying really hard to educate myself as well as find a little understanding of my role as his supports system and caregiver. I really look forward to talking to people who are in the same situation we are as I don't have anyone else that understands.

Thanks for having me :)

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[Cult]

Welcome. As a fellow supporter I can say this is a wonderful resource. It really has helped me immensely. I too looked in vain for resources and this site is the only thing I found that speaks to me.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[intothelight]

Hi Moe,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

There is an entire section for supporters you may find helpful. It is a great place to share similar experiences and to get support and understanding for yourself.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[myvetswife]

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[Cmac]

Hi, I am also new to this forum. I have been in a relationship with an Iraq Veteran. We have been dating for 3.5 years. We started dating after he finished his enlistment. He hardly every talks about his involvement in the war.

I understand why and I really don't think I would understand what he went through. I have graduated in social work and will be going for my Masters so I understand therapy and techniques to help him talk. But it's completely different when we are in a relationship as most of you know. I have finally convinced him to go to therapy which I am so thankful for. But I am having trouble to continue in this relationship. As most of you know it's very difficult. He has major mood sings, nightmares and he wants to be alone but he always feels so lonely and depressed. I love to spend time with him and I think I come off as too needy.

Also a little back story to our relationship. We are from the same town. And when we started dating we were both in college. (He is still in college). We lived in the same town but then I moved and we were in a long distance relationship for a year. Then we moved in together (that was really rough) and then recently he said that he felt he needed to do things on his own and live on his own but wants to continue our relationship.

As you probably know my feelings were extremely hurt and although I can be logical, I'm still very upset. So its been about 4 month without living together we live in same town and hardly see each other. He just seems to become very distant. He did admit that not living together did not solve the problems he was thinking that it would. But at least right now I'm not sure I can continue but I also don't know how to live my life without him and I am worried how he will be on his own because I'm the only person he talks to in depth about things.

We have discussed a break but I'm scared if we do that it will just be over. I know there probably isn't any advice people can give but anything would really help at this point. None of my friends or family understand my situation.

 

[MoeX]

@Cmac I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. It's a hard situation to be in, made even more difficult because no body in your life seems to understand. I've been through the separation period and came out somewhat ok. If you need to talk I am here for you.

 

[SaintsFan1975]

Hi, my name is Jason. I recently started dating a woman who is a Gulf War veteran and suffers from PTSD. I truly care about her and the more I get to know her, the more head over heels in love I am with her. She has confided in me some of the things that have caused her to suffer from PTSD. I have been reading up on the subject of loving someone with PTSD because I am committed to making this a lasting and a loving relationship. I am very scared of not doing the right thing or saying or doing something wrong because I have no understanding of what it is like to be in a war zone since I was deferred from serving in the military due to health issues. I can see the pain and the hurt in her eyes every time I look at her and I know I can't undo that pain, but I do want to be supportive and nurturing and understanding (as much as is possible) so we can develop a long and loving relationship. Why? Because I believe I have met my future life partner. So if I am going to commit to a long-term relationship with her, I want to be a touchstone. I'm trying to take the approach of simply allowing her to talk when she needs to talk and I listen. I feel like that's the best thing I can do, especially at this point.