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Yes I have been absent a long time, I was having such a hard time I had to just GO AWAY from all support groups. I was triggering so bad over the past few months it was VERY VERY BAD! I had so many legal battles to fight, the deposition for the lawsuit, the psych eval for the state level of...

Veiled I can post about my experience, and yes I did have an abortion. The circumstance was that of no other choice, I had to have one because if I did not I would have died. It is still hard to talk about it, and I don't care what the docs called it, because of course they did not use th A...

You will get to that point someday Jade, even if it's not face to face it can always be in writting. I right now have no outside friends anymore either. The people I worked with were all considered "MY FRIENDS" I THOUGHT we were a very close knit group untill this happened. The one girl who was...

My therapist told me that in order to continue to move forward you almost have to hurt MORE. Writting that letter may trigger a breakdown but once you come back from it, you might see a clearer picture. There are actually alot of things that I have not let me self greive over, and I know when I...

Marlene YOU GO GIRL! It took me awhile to actually accept the fact that I have PTSD, and I think the turning point for me to get out of the denial phase was when I started to allow my therapist to really get me to open up about things. There are still times when I run around like you ON A...

Jade For a moment I had to re read your initial thread because it sounded so much like what I have said. I know it sucks, this last therapy session I had REALLY SUCKED, because it did bring up alot of things that need to be dealt with. Anthony and the others put it into very good perspective. We...

I had a doctor appt yesterday and I am a bit more calm about the whole mess. My Doc said not to stress it because if I flip out or it triggers an episode so be it, he also said if the testing gets to hard for me to tell them I need to stop. He said that yes this is in his opinon cruel punishment...

WHOOPEEE! Next Friday I have to go have vocational testing done, not real enthused about this because if it is anything like the neuro psych tests I know I will be completly drained. I guess they need to know ALL THE THINGS I CAN'T do to make a better case for me. I have to admit I am terrified...

I found the CT, and MRI to be a much better test than the EEG which caused me to get SICK. DANG why did'nt I get the HOT TECH LOL. No the guy that did mine was old and fat LOL. OH WELL. For the MRI they gave me valium and that pretty much made it tolerable because I to am clostraphobic, so it...

Yes I know he was not just a dog and your right I should not minimize the loss, it's just so odd though with this demon PTSD, that every single bad thing that has happened to me in my life comes to the surface now. SO MUCH FOR THINKING I HAD EVERYTHING IN PERSPECTIVE. The last couple of days...

Thank you Josh, I would never try to compare this to your situation but I guess the way it is explained to me a loss is a loss. You know sometimes I feel foolish even talking about it because most people say IT WAS JUST A DOG, yeah well I know that and no this is not what caused my PTSD, but for...

Last night I had some really BAD nightmares. They were about the loss of my one dog. I think because it happened on Christmas Day two years ago and with the awful situation that caused it this is yet another thing for me to recall. My dog had died at the hands of some very cruel people and I...

I am assuming this one comes from the impact of the car to my body. I have been working on it but this one just hangs tight. It's almost like one of those dreams where you think you are free falling. I can talk about my flashbacks with little trigger response even some of the new ones that...

The most persistant one for me is the feeling of being propelled forward and not being able to stop it. I have a variety of them but this one has been there from the beggining and I usually have it several times a week. This is also the one that will make me wake in a state of panic and fear...

For me the memory loss is a hard one to deal with and I am not sure if it comes totaly from the PTSD or the TBI, I think it's both in my case. I know sometimes when I post something here, at the moment my thinking is very clear, but then when I go back to read it I don't remember writting it...

Yes now that I had time to get over it I am glad I went even if it made the rest of the weekend difficult. I can't hide forever but sometimes I would like to. Talking with my therapist yesterday I told her I would rather NOT be around people but she brought it to my attention that with a young...

Happy belated Birthday. I understand about the party. BOY DO I UNDERSTAND.

I have not been extremly social as of late and especailly with my husbands family, who are the only ones that live near us, and calling them family is a real stretch. I went to a baby shower for my neice, who I did not even know was preganant untill getting the invitation, baby is due in a few...

The site of me running naked down the street would not only cause anxiety with my neighbors but would probably bring another person to the lovely world of PTSD, TALK ABOUT TRAUMATIZED:moon: :moon: :cuckoo:

I called my doc because as the night went on I was still having alot of trouble letting go of this. That man works hard for his money, he did offer me some comfort in the fact that he said "Don't stress this, I will stand with you the entire way, I will not let them push you over the...

I lost it with my attorney today after my OB/GYN's office called wanting to know WHY the opposing attorneys needed my complete medical records from them?????????????????????????? Well I could not answer that question so I called my Attorney and asked him WHY my female health issues had anything...

Yesterday afternoon I had a REALLY BAD anxiety attack, see even with meds they still break through. With all the leagal issues pending, like with the lawsuit against the drunk that hit me, suing my own insurance company and with attaining SSD, it gets overwhelming. Both lawyers called yesterday...

Yes don't even get me started on doctors, the one I go to now and have been since almost the beggining is the one I am sticking with because not only does he have the greatest understanding of PTSD, but he also understands how the chronic pain IS NOT helpful to my psychiatric health. You have a...

Yes I got through the anniversary of my accident, how ironic that it landed on Thanksgiving, but I got through it. I thought maybe when I woke up I would not remember it was, but alas major flashbacks all night long with night terrors kinda reminded me of what the day was when I crawled out of...

Mum I understand how you are feeling about your situation and although I can not tell you what you need to do I can share what goes on in my own marriage. From the onset of this DEMON PTSD, in the beggining I felt like my husband was very supportive along with everyone else in my family circle...