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I have and do put my friends before me when I have thought they needed. I've made sacrifices without being asked to when I thought they were justified. These people can't fart out some basic human empathy, even the one who told me I saved her life. All people care about is that you don't have...

Every time I hurt their feels or embarrass them or make them feel uncomfortable I feel awful and every time I'm left to feel unimportant I feel worse. I just find the guilt and shame that comes with every attempt to spend time with people too much. I feel so numb. Disabled Facebook. No point...

I vomit almost every day. Usually from coughing, but sometimes from panic attacks or pain. Haven't done one for each yet though. Oh yeah, and my meds. f*ck they make me feel awful. Vomit town USA.

My reoccurring nightmare was of school. I felt like the only way I could ease the pain of what I had been put through by my teachers was to try and be there for kids in the place of a shitty teacher. Now I have an emotional breakdown if I try to tutor one middle schooler twice a week in math.

Yep. All three trans students where emotionally f*cked by the end of the program coincidentally. Two graduated, one still has the emontial compacity to be a classroom teacher. In their cases the staff suppressed reporting the sexual harassment they were enduring during their student teaching. At...

I spent two years in a grad program working 90 hour weeks while my professors deliberately avoided any praise as a policy focused on me, gave me extra expectations and work, ignored every warning I gave them directly about my mental and physical fatigue, gave me shit and judgment for taking a...

I hate myself more than everyone else. It doesn't matter what I've done. I know what I and everyone else is capable of.

I don't have the energy to investigate the genuineness of others goodwill after so many false leads and the resulting horrific experiences. I doubt my misjudgment will even marginally harm anyone else.

Never got around to the most traumatic/recent events. https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/disclosing.50139/

You misunderstand. I believe every human being is a cut throat bastard that would drive me to suicide for their own amusement and then tell everyone what a tragedy it is. It isn't that humans are casually cruel and petty. They revel in it. Human misery is the cocaine party that keeps society...

Just lost 9 months worth of work on the only thing that give my life meaning or context at this point. I have no faith left in humanity and don't see myself ever being able to have a life worth living. All I see is an endless road of suffering that I can't understand why I have been burdened...

Just lost like 16 hours and I was awake for a lot of it. Didn't know pain could disrupt your sense of time.

Yep, have anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds. Had PTSD/panic attacks long before I developed chronic pain.

I'm very glad you came here and hope you get all the support you need. The most important thing is you are taking care of yourself.

Thanks for the hugs. It boarders on the bearable a lot of the time. I don't really feel it a lot of the time as I suppress the pain, but it generalizes to rather negative feelings when I do. The numbness is normal for a flare up. It's not being able to use a mouse that really sucks. Much easier...

It helps a bit. Being able to do something and distract myself at the same time makes a big difference, so it is a lot harder. Thanks.

Can't use my right arm without it swelling up and aching, rendering it useless in minutes. I'm in constant pain. Suicidal fantasies were always my main form of relaxing. I've been trying to stop that but right now my meds aren't doing much and I don't know how to make the pain stop or distract...

Not being able to use my right arm is getting to me. Can't enjoy my computer, which is my window to the world.

Right arm goes numb on and off. Useless a lot of the time. Stabbing pain all the time, hands and arms sometimes. Can't type too much. Having a really hard time. Been like this a day or two. Not much to do but medicate, stretch, and ride it out. On my own for the foreseeable future.

No matter who is driving, I start to have a panic attack after about 25-40 minutes but worse driving can speed that up a lot. I feel safer driving but can't much due to my physical issues (not related to the accident).

Thanks everyone. I have thoracic outlet syndrome by the way. Figuring out what's going to work for me is going to be a process. After a year of painful massages, agonizing physical therapy and the reality that often none of these fix my condition. The surgery is often unsuccessful and...

Already had PTSD when I went to grad school but it was manageable enough that I could work or go to school. So basically my grad school profs worked me so hard (90 hours a week, constant pressure and threats) that I developed thoracic outlet syndrome. Then they kicked me out for not being able...

Yep, totally have those kinds of symptoms myself. For me I think it comes from a deep distrust in others and a loss of faith in the social contract. That I will be taken advantage of and harmed without recourse or the support I need afterward.

I think I'm still processing my level of disability, both physically and emotionally. Having such a tether feels very restricting, even though I should view it as a positive for helping me deal with regulating my emotions without fully dissociating. It used to be something I did on occasion, but...

Haven't picked it up yet. I kind of played 5 to death. Still going on Crusader Kings 2 though.