Constant Need To Hear Human Voices, Don't Trust People

[Rebel Girl]

So I'm finding that not hearing people speak is a very bad experience. Like depression or panic attacks are the result of my not being able to hear human speech for an extended period. I can do other things and focus on them, but if there isn't a constant chatter like a podcast, narrative film, or audio book I start to get into a downward spiral. I also hate being around people, as I don't trust them and feel a need to constantly put on an act. I'm not sure if it is pure loneliness or something deeper.

 

[Seasounds]

I wish your life was easier. The keen insight, that you have about your response to narratives, seems to be very specific observations; hopefully they will be helpful to you, in managing your symptoms, in the long run.

I play the radio, conversations and music, I think, to be calmed. Being with people; I long to feel safe in a group of people. But since I don't create that experience for myself very much (working on it), I isolate; it is a love-hate relationship.

The best to you!

 

[Friday]

That's an interesting point.

I can go without speaking for weeks. Both physically & (however one defines typing one's words). As long as I have music and other things playing that do contain language. But when there is true silence? I talk a lot. To myself. To the world around me. Just to hear words. I even go so far as thinking in words, and that takes an effort. I don't think in words, I think in pictures. There have been a few times in my life where talking to myself is no bueno, because I don't want anyone to hear me. That's when I learned to think in words. Hadn't really given any of this much thought before. It's an interesting thing to consider.

 

[joeylittle]

I can do other things and focus on them, but if there isn't a constant chatter like a podcast, narrative film, or audio book I start to get into a downward spiral.

I'd say it's great that you have figured out something that really works for you as a distraction technique. Don't judge yourself for it if it isn't a problem. I'm the opposite - I can't have any kind of background sound, can't listen to music, podcasts, etc. I'm better off in silence. For awhile, I kept thinking something was wrong with me, because "listen to music" is such a common mental-health suggestion. And then I just decided it was how I am, not something I needed to change.

I'm not sure if it is pure loneliness or something deeper.

There may not be a connection at all - listening to chatter, narratives, may just be a way of keeping your mind engaged so that you don't ruminate or work over negative thoughts. Avoiding people is a very common symptom, one we need to challenge ourselves to work on, but not necessarily something you are compensating for by listening to narrative.

Just offering a different perspective!

 

[Rebel Girl]

I think I'm still processing my level of disability, both physically and emotionally. Having such a tether feels very restricting, even though I should view it as a positive for helping me deal with regulating my emotions without fully dissociating. It used to be something I did on occasion, but now it is full time.