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I should start with some very good news. I think I have already posted this but the news is that my Hep C is gone. It was no RNA detectable at the middle of January and again at the beginning of February. I have been feeling so much better physically since then. My feet are no longer so numb and...

It is OK to repeat what I have already posted before. Yes, I was badly abused as a child and when my parents finally divorced when I was sixteen I made a vow to never hurt anyone ever in my life. I have kept that vow but unfortunately it hasn't been reciprocal. I left home at 16 because I was...

Joey, I should elaborate some. The issue regarding the medication was not the only threat to my health, if not my life. I have very bad teeth and could not afford to have them properly repaired. To prevent infection I rinse with Hydrogen Peroxide several times per week and it works very well...

Not many descriptive single words in the English language are absolutely definitive with no possibility of modifiable interpretation. Even "immediate" can have a wide range of what constitutes immediacy. If compared to a normal lifetime immediate could easily be taken to mean days, weeks or...

Gender has little to nothing to do with this. Man, woman, makes no real difference. If you think it does then you may have an issue that needs help and that is not uncommon. The entire concept of triggering on nudity is something that must contain deeper reasons for that trigger. We are all born...

Yay!!!! I saw my doctor today (yesterday) and got the news. I am cured. Virus not detected at all. It is gone, very, very gone. I no longer have a body that is a cesspool for an evil creature that is slowly destroying me. It is gone!!! This is one of the best days in my life. Now I can feel safe...

A little update: I am almost finished the treatment for my Hep C and at this time the virus is no longer measurable. It should be undetectable but I haven't yet received the 8 week test results. My doctor is sure I am cured and that is such a huge relief. But that isn't why I am posting. I have...

Yep, that's me too. I will be heading back to school later this year to see if I can convince them to give me a master's in Engineering. Science is what I have studied since I stuck some needle nose pliers into a power socket at the age of three. I and the reverend at the church I attend both...

God created the universe. Right now that explanation is as good as we will ever find. In my mind God and the universe are parts of the same entity. This is especially obvious when you work in the field of quantum mechanics. There it is entirely possible and proven that anything in this universe...

There are many good denominations. That isn't the problem. Christians all believe in the same God and Holy Trinity. The problem is, as always, people. When I decided to return to church last year I sat with the Reverend and had a long talk. I was and still am at a point where I do not trust...

Absolutely true. Putting anything on line takes time, work and money. I have been running web sites since this all began. I had my first on line web pages in 1995 which is when the World Wide Web began on the internet. I have been on the internet since only shortly after it began with my first...

Yeah, rather of topic is right. Sorry.

I have also used intoxicants as well but I totally quit drinking or any other drugs about 11 years ago. I now must take, of all things, morphine. Not to kill pain but because it helps regulate my maximum heart rate. That hit 190 bpm earlier this year which is very much not a good thing at my...

Jemini, have a read here, it is what I follow in life: http://online.sfsu.edu/rone/Buddhism/FivePrecepts/fiveprecepts.html

Aarow, the side effects are minimal, really not much at all. Compared to the interferon drugs the side effects are zero. Harvoni is the best medicine so far and I have read that there are more coming that are even better in terms of even shorter treatment time. I am taking it for just 12 weeks...

I have been up and down like a yo yo. I think much of that is because of the Harvoni Hep C med I am taking. At least according to my doctor my Hep C is most likely now completely gone. That is such a nice thing. However, depression is also a known side effect from this powerful med. It is very...

I totally agree. I have Complex PTSD of Abandonment. Keeping in mind that Complex PTSD is not a full DSM V affliction but a general subtype, the "abandonment" form seems absolutely warranted as a diagnosis. My psychiatrist thinks it is fine as a name for a type of PTSD. It sure is that way for...

Johhny, I am so sorry to hear about all you have been through and losing your father and best friend at the time just makes it so much worse. I am afraid that I know very well what you have been going through. Without the horror of having to decide on pulling the plug on your late father I have...

I have spent a great deal of time in the deep wilderness, as far from civilization as I can get. Where I live that is very deep too. The average population here outside the few large metropolitan areas is about 1 person per two square kilometres. It is easy to hike and canoe into areas where you...

And much better than how I have been thinking of myself in recent times. I started this day by waking up crying. I don't even know why I was crying. Something in my dreams I guess. Now I am smiling. Smiling is a big improvement. And, I have actually been getting some things done that I have been...

Heh, this is turning into a meeting of the Mutual Admiration Society. But what is wrong with that? It is exactly what this is all about and what we all very much need.

Aarow, it is so nice to hear you say these things. That alone is making me feel better this morning as I read your post. That is something I very much need, anything to feel better and this makes my time here well spent.

Yep, my psychiatrist is a guy who has dealt with people like serial killers. I think he comes up to the town where I live as a kind of vacation from the truly bad people. It is really interesting how relaxed he is and how nice he is when dealing with what I see as truly nasty problems in my own...

Don't be concerned about being diagnosed. I have a very good Forensic Psychiatrist who knows far more than most. He gets really upset very easily when somebody tries to tell him that person X doesn't quite fit the diagnosis for something so that person doesn't have it. His opinion is that if...

Aarow, you have just shown that none of us are alone in this mess. If I somehow accidentally helped you make a positive decision then I feel much better. It sure shows how this forum is worth existing and why it is a good place for us to vent and cry and just hope that somebody else understands...