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Same. Felt weird and ungrounded lol

I've been self employed for 20+ years. January is always the hardest month. Companies are setting their budgets and individuals are experiencing credit card shock from the holidays. I usually see things start to perk up end of Feb early March. I traditionally use this time to put my house in...

Thank you guys for the responses. It's definitely a situation that has me in full on stress mode. I'm going to back away for now, and definitely not try and get in the middle as "peacemaker". This is their marriage, and their battle. I guess I'd just forgotten how rough addictive personalities...

I have two friends, a married couple, who have stuck by me through a lot of crap over the last few years. I love them as much, if not more, than a goodly portion of the rest of the human population. I'm closest with the wife, but her hubby has been a rock for me too. Thing is, they - or at...

I'm with @scout86 on this one. You don't sound pathetic or like an idiot, your neighbor's behavior was inappropriate and in my mind, an assault on you, both physically and mentally. Completely unacceptable and you have every right to be upset. I'd be a mess if someone did that to me! If she was...

No idea what my "purpose" is. I find that too overwhelming to think about as it was a key part of the cult I grew up in. Now I look at "goals". Sort of keep my eye on the next prize thing so I can keep moving forward toward...something, anything. Some days that's getting out of bed and...

I had a similar experience of the memories going backwards. They started as flashbacks in my sleep, body memories I wasn't sure were real, except that I could feel them, deeply and painfully. The rest started coming out in therapy. A good question to ask yourself is whether you want to...

What @FridayJones said. Meditation is an instant relapse into yuck for me. I'm have found acupuncture by someone who specializes in trauma to be very helpful.

:eek::poop::D

I was on Lexapro for about 5 months earlier this year. I found it helped at first, but then I was exhausted all the time. I could barely get out of bed. So I weaned myself off and decided to deal with the uncomfortable feelings head on. I still use Ativan on an as needed basis tho, and that...

Since my husband passed away last year, I've been slowly working through going through his things and reducing the sheer amount of stuff that seemed to accumulate over 20 years together. No easy task, highly emotional, and I take a lot of breaks. Sometimes for months. I'm quickly approaching a...

Thank you for your words. I was grounding like a champ and made it. He knows my history. He's a very good man, always lets me pick the seat with the clear line of escape I gave him a hug at the end of the night and it felt good. The show was hilarious and I'm glad I didn't bail. I just get...

I'm in a tizzy tonight. I am leaving in a half hour to go to a show, something I have been looking forward to for months. But this time, I invited a friend. A friend I could be interested in. Now I'm all bunched up and scared and ready to call and say I can't. I'm shaking and frightened and...

I'm a writer, and words fail me. Your pain and strength, and hope for healing, shine.

For me, disassociating feels like I've moved "away". I have little or no control over what I'm doing while in that state, and rarely have any active memory. It is always in response to something that has happened in my environment, the "trigger". Due to the training I received growing up, I can...

I just backed a Kickstarter called the Sweary Colouring Book. A bunch of really great swear words with lots of pretty designs, but not too complicated looking. I'm looking forward to it arriving in February

@FridayJones is fast becoming my spirit animal

I don't know if this view will be helpful, but I have learned (the hard way of course) for myself to make no assumptions or expectations on others. I mean that, if I invite someone to come into my life, and they choose not to, that's ok. If they do show up, all the better, but until it happens...

I haven't posted much in the last few weeks. I had to have surgery and have spent most of my time recovering, sleeping, and trying to walk around and get things done. Hasn't been a fun few weeks, and of course, it all lands smack dab in my least favorite time of year. Halloween to New Years...

It fell apart after my husband died. In the 12 months preceding that my sister had been found dead and my brother committed suicide. By the time my DH died, in my arms, I was so numb and shocked I didn't know what was going on. Self medicated like a freaking champ for a few months, started to...

This is the first year I'm putting my foot down and refusing to do things I've always been uncomfortable with or actively disliked. Halloween to New Years has always been my least favorite time of year, but having a husband and raising kids I made the effort, even if I didn't want it for myself...

I have two very close friends, one who grew up in the same cult as I did (and is now out as well) and one who did not. The one who did not grow up as we did told me one day that what I went though was the kind of abuse movies are written about. I was floored. I never thought of what I went...

Current;y at a 9-10. Can't stop thinking of my sister. Today was her favorite holiday and she loved Halloween. I'm hiding in my house, the bowl of candy on the porch because I'm losing my stuffing so badly I don't want to traumatize the kids coming to my house.F**k, this hurts.

Yes. That is exactly how it feels for me. I know I *did* feel affinity, love, affection once. Almost like that part of me was scraped out and I was left with a vast hollowness, an echo chamber of sorts. I remember the echoes of those feelings, but they don't relate to me now.

I don't know if this will help, but I used to have a very similar problem. Growing up the way I did, with the people I was surrounded with I was very small and often the tactic of "overwhelm until the other submits" was employed. Any resistance was met with overwhelming force. This made it very...