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My DV/rape trauma "ended" about 9 months ago. Two days ago I had resurfaced memory of child sex abuse. i am here to tell you I'm doing fabulously! This after 6 weeks at Sierra Tucson, a few months in a sober living home, prolonged exposure therapy, CODA meetings, equine therapy and new...

Well, that "cheery" mood didn't last long! Back to feeling hopeless and empty. F*ck this shit! Just hoping to feel better again soon . . . Couldn't bring myself to yoga or walk today. Just feel helpless. Going to try to write out some positive self talk.

Hi ldj, yes the sociopath is an ex. From what I've read we never really had a relationship. It was me trying to love him while he has his secret agenda of using me and spitting me out for the next new shiny ego-feeding supply. As him being someone with a couple severe personality disorders...

Huge thanks to everyone who responded. I ended up going for a truly awesome energy flush massage (complete with crying) and walk, came home and read what I had written and was shocked! I must remind myself when I think this way that these are distorted thoughts and not reality but the...

Hey Lovemyself. Hugs if you accept them. Try not to beat yourself up about Christmas. I went back a million times after I said, "No more" to myself. In fact I let him poison my life for 8 more months after I first broke up with him! It finally took him spitting in my face and "fake punching"...

Hi everyone. I have been on and off of this forum but just need to reach out today. I would like to share what I just journaled: "I don't know what to do. It seems like nothing makes me feel better/emotionally safe. I feel like my life will never improve. I am stuck, paralyzed. No one to...

That could be. I don't like to do it, but I had errands to run with a lot of anxiety so took a xanax (which I have been on for sleep for a long time, prescribed my pdoc). I use those only as a "must do" when the anxiety becoming so overwhelming that I feel I can't take it anymore. I think I...

I do feel peaceful, most of the time, around horses. I have been experiencing increasing physical pain and near constant nausea too. Does that happen to you too?

I don't know . . . overall a very weird experience. After I got up from "resting" I was dissociating but at the same time a vision of a caged screaming monkey swinging about and baring its teeth was prominent in my mind. I just felt rage so just wrote down "I feel rage." Then I dug deeper and...

My anxiety has been sky high. In fact I think it's the worst aspect of my PTSD. So this morning I did a guided breathing relaxation for about 10 minutes. Afterwards I felt very calm and peaceful but very sleepy and now I am exhausted. I did notice for a good 15 minutes that my incessant...

Yeah the other day I went into a coffee shop and the barista was this young guy who made eye contact and smiled. I immediately felt threatened, like he was trying to hit on me (was probably just being friendly). But the discomfort was very strong. I am afraid of most men now and think they're...

Yes it did end 3 weeks ago. Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon. I guess I have felt shitty for so long that I just want to feel better ASAP, but I will continue to be patient. I feel like I need to take more action steps but I'm not sure what. I went clothes shopping for 4 hours with my...

Hi you guys. I was in an extremely emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship on and off for 1-1/2 years. I changed my number 3 weeks ago and this is it, not going back. My therapist has identified it as trauma. My problem is so many things in life are triggering me. So much seems to...

Yeah, I think today is a survival day. I cancelled my horse "therapy" appointment. I just "could not" go/. Freeze/numb mode I guess. Need to feel safe at home. VERY frustrating. I really want to heal. Unfortunately my therapist is booked for next week so I won't see her for about a week...

Wow Heyheyhey, sounds like you have really come a long way! I feel kind of overwhelmed by thinking about all the exercises/coping skills you have in place. All I really have for coping is exercise, eating right, horses (today), reaching out for support or just plain companionship. I really...

! Go get 'em with the walking DharmaGirl!

Thanks for the replies guys :) Heyheyhey, it is wonderful that you can relate. It seems you are happy (at least as you present yourself through writing), so maybe there is hope for me? Ever since my therapist brought up my abusive relationship being about my mother and seeking validation from...

Just wanted to report how this forum has helped me. I just read a post about how someone cut off a new relationship because of too many warning signs of potential abuse. At the end someone posted a quote that said something like if you have to explain to somebody how to treat you with respect...

Hi everybody. I can't remember the last time I posted here but it's been a while. I really need to reconnect. Not sure if this is the right place but I know I can't post again in Intros. Recap: neglected/verbally abused as a child. Have broken up FOR THE LAST TIME with extremely abusive ex...

Well I tried to post the youtube link but it wouldn't let me. It's Katy Perry's song ":Rise." Take a listen/look. This song is so motivational and awesome I wanted to share. She talks about being more than a survivor but a thriver. There is one point in the video where's she's hanging from...

I sure hope so

Well I'm on a lot of psych meds but I've been on the same for quite a while and this just started a few months ago. I'm seeing a new therapist for the first time on Wednesday who does EMDR so not sure if she'll want me to do that.

I thought I replied to this but maybe not. I have tried some grounding techniques but they usually don't help me snap out of it

This has been going on for three months. Yesterday and today has gotten even worse - -didn't know that was possible! My functioning is really affected by this. There is no way I could work with this. Can't remember a damn thing and easily get disoriented and flustered. Was driving home from...

I do it too. I did a lot of it yesterday. It really is self destructive and only makes things much worse. I only do it rarely now, thank God.