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from what i am seeing from others im on the wrong website and should be looking for something to help my anxiety (im shakeing right now typeing this) it is really bad and i dont have much conrol over it..is there any good places i can go to? thank you all for being so helpful and haveing...

in re-response to your comment, i had to take a big break for a second because i had a big anxiety attack from your response, im not used to takeing very brutal advice on something so personal but....i am going to be an adult and say your most likely right....i was obsessive with this...

thank you for being honest

i am not sure what you mean? i guess you mean have i ever had special time with my mother? if so yes, I used to watch old tv shows, and thrillers with her. My mom would tell me all the stories of her life, so she was not afraid to open up with me...its just when the job popped up things got...

thank you so much for you help guys, i honestly figured I had attachment issues but its very helpful to have other people agree with it, that just gives me a better understanding of who I am and what i need to work on. Right now in my current relationship, my boyfriend suffers with the same...

i mean my mom does love me, she did spoiled me a lot when I was growing up with toys and stuff but she was the popular kid in school when she was a teenager so we never connected on the social issues that I had growing up..its strange having the IT girl as your mother and your the geeky chick...

i guess my mother was the closest...i was attached to her because she was the only one in my life, my mother was always firm with me saying "I can never be your friend just your mother.." I know parents say that because they have a job to do and the child needs to respect the parent, but it...

yeah your probably right..if i have never done it with him it would most likely to be easier to swallow ha ha

when i had sex with him it was really late into the relationship, i held out for a long time. I was connected with him way before that even happened. i think pretty much two months after that he left me...the relationship was only a year..

well if its not ptsd then that is fine, i honestly don't know what to call my situation..it just caused trauma and I wanted some help

thank you for your replay Muttly i love you bold answer, and yes it was 4 years ago but he was 3 years older then me..do you think he never liked or loved me honestly? do you think he just used me and was done with me? If someone can give me an answer to that i feel it will pull some weight...

that so understandable wishfulthinking123( i know it is long), thank you so much for your answer its a breath of fresh air to have someone be nice to me. Do you think I should even talk to him for that matter? Or would you think he would judge me even more? I really don't want to be friends with...

Hello people out there, I am feeling very very scared at posting to complete strangers about my problem that I have had for over 4 years, but I feel like this is so outrageous now that I have to get help from someone... So before I explain everything I want to explain who I am and how I grew...