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wow. I can definitely see both sides of this. Just because it was talked out doesn't mean your feelings aren't still hurt. Then again, like Eve said, it's HER birthday... I don't know how to fix it, but as a supporter, I just know that I would be hurt too.

Thank you for the encouragement. Its taken some time (and medication) but I think I'm finally seeing things a little more clearly. I understand doing what you need to do about three divorce too- despite everything, I ended up being the one to file, just so he'd stop threatening me with it and I...

My goodness. I wish I could like your post a thousand times. I think your words are exactly what I needed to hear right now. It's taken me some time, but I'm realizing that I lost myself somewhere along the way... I truly truly love this site. Thank you so much for taking the time to post what...

Thank you. It's just hard reflecting back on the person I've become since my marriage has started to unravel. I used to feel so secure, but having everything ripped away from me so quickly has made me question everything about myself. I have days where I feel ok, like I'm strong enough and...

the roller coaster just continues... We finally had a night where he let me talk and cry and actually have my own emotions without shutting down, leaving, or lashing out at me for it. I was completely shocked that I was finally getting a chance to say everything that I've wanted to say since...

thank you again. I will be reading your posts it's in this thread before we walk into our session tonight.

it's my husband, and his PTSD is undiagnosed as of right now ( he finally agreed to complete a psychological evaluation). He has chosen to live in a camper trailer at his work site rather than be under the same roof with me, his wife of 15 years, and our two year old son. So much of what you...

I completely agree. Apparently though, my husband has been hiding this for a few years... And one night it all came exploding out of him. he basically gave me a few months to come to terms with everything, and the next thing I knew, we were in divorce court a few days before Thanksgiving. For...

I'm a little late to this thread but it has been incredibly eye opening. You think leaving your family would be an act of love?? Wow. Those words have really made me question everything about my husband leaving us... I wish you all the best on your journey and hope that your wife will come to...

I feel like I'll reading my own story. I truly understand what you are going through. I'm still trying to muddle through the confusion. This site has been so incredibly helpful.

I don't have any advice, just letting you know you aren't alone. The exact same thing happened between me and my soon-to- be . husband. I felt like I was in the twilight zone, never knowing which version of him would show up when he came to see our son. Becoming the focus of such hateful and...

thank you so much everyone for your kind words. It doesn't fix everything, but there is so much comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one out there struggling like this. I am so happy to have found this safe place, because it's hard not to feel so alone sometimes...

God help me, I don't want this divorce. ... I keep hoping to wake up from this nightmare, but it just keeps going... the tears just keep coming... How do you say goodbye to your soulmate? actually, how do you accept that your soulmate doesn't want you anymore? Every day he goes on denying that...

Good for you. I can totally understand why you would want the divorce. I also struggle between being hurt, angry, and compassionate . It is so important to do what is best for you though. As for me, I think I'm still praying for a miracle... I hope you find peace and happiness once your...

... and nothing I say or do will help until it does.

@Akhos thank you so much for your response. It's taken me some time to come to terms with the fact that this is something he will have to endure alone...

I'm just curious... What made everything hit you like a lead balloon? I keep waiting for that moment to happen with my soon-to-be ex-husband, but every time I think "THIS is going to be it, THIS will make him realize the gravity of the situation", it just continues to get worse and worse. So...

my husband did the same thing. He had already moved out and over the course of 4 months, our conversations went from mildly hopeful with the intention of marriage counseling to him seeing no other option but divorce. He literally showed up one night and said "I'm done. It's over. I'm filing for...

I'm so sorry for everything that you and your daughter are going through. My husband just told me about all of his struggles 4 months ago, and just a few days before Thanksgiving we were in divorce court. My 14-year marriage disintegrated in front of my eyes in 4 months. During these four...

I just realized that the last couple of statements of my post made it look as though I think I can save him because I've read some books about PTSD. That is not what I meant at all. I just meant that I can't even be supportive if he doesn't acknowledge the problem in the first place and only...

oh my goodness! I feel like I oh my goodness! I feel like I could have written this post myself! The main difference though is that it's my husband of 14 years who has left me and our 2 year old son. I feel like I'm grieving the death of the man I married and the relationship we once had before...

my my heart absolutely breaks for you. I am in the same boat. 4 months ago my husband of 14 years told me that he loved me but not like he used to love me and that he had been pretending for quite a while. Over the course of the next four months that has turned into I don't love you anymore...

Wow. Every time you guys reply, I learn something new. My husband hasn't been able to answer any direct questions about why he feels this way- just that it is the ONLY option. He will speak freely about sports, politics, even the steps he is taking to separate himself from me and move forward...

Would you say that denial is a part of avoidance? What are your thoughts? Everyone else can see my husband's behaviors and choices as very distorted, all or nothing, or black and white mentality. He dismisses any other alternative choices that would have a positive outcome. It's like he refuses...

Thank you for all of your responses. He has started EMDR but has only had one or two sessions of treatment and has stated that it was focused primarily on work-induced stress and anxiety. However, he is currently "taking a break" from therapy. This leaves me wondering what happened in his last...