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I know very little about the effects of prescription drugs on the body beyond the few I’ve taken myself — still learning. I’d suspect there might be many lingering drug side-effects. I had developed episodes of extreme hypoglycemia that might have been due to a psychotropic drug side-effect — I...

During the mid 1960’s, I was prescribed a weight-loss drug to boost my energy level and help with my weight-loss. Yet after many months with cold sweats, intrusive thoughts, poor concentration and insomnia I decided to suddenly stop taken this weight-loss drug. Big mistake … My symptoms of...

I’ve never tried stimulating my vagus nerve and cold showers, no thanks! However many years ago, I would practice repeatedly stepping on hand-fulls of carefully selected rounded pebbles that I’d placed on the floor. I would press these pebbles into the bottom of my bare feet to allow the stones...

Bold, energetic, unfolding, out-reaching! Or busting-out all over ... in other words, it's spring!!

user57352 wrote. Does anyone know any art galleries for outside artists in the NY area? You might try finding art galleries in this area by asking local custom frame shops within that same area. Galleries often use their local frame shops. In fact often these two businesses will be combined...

Paul McCartney's Wings album was my sister's most favorite music CD. After her death, her longtime closest girlfriend called me on the phone one day, asking me to please give her this particular CD. It must have held some fond memories for her. Though my sister died 26 years ago, I still often...

Though I entered therapy at age 19 or 20 for anxiety and depression — not until my fourth year of therapy had I become aware that, I was a sexually abused toddler. Up until that time, I’d had no clue, no conscious awareness, no inkling nor any vague memories of CSA. But then, when I had...

I think my giving up behavior over the years -- where I've stopped trying to defend myself -- has only placed me farther outside the family group. The more I gave into their abuse, the more I accepted it, the more freely they had turned on me. While I was trying to establish a loving connection...

I think I had given up on making any loving supportive connections with my parents and brother, early in my life. I had no choice but to accept their abusive behavior. And yes, in my case, most definitely, they've formed tightly bonded group packs against me.

Me, too. I suffered from emotional neglect from both parents though my other basic needs were mostly met. I was never physically punished nor threatened. But because I wasn’t crying as an infant my mother-daughter bond wasn’t very strong. And though this wasn’t her fault, she was always...

Even now, in my late 70's, I'm still learning about who I am and of what emotional hurt I've been struggled with over the years. The pain doesn't just fade away with time. Writing about my past self is also a bit depressing. I think that many of us, here, never received the loving care that we...

As a small child, when alone with my father, I never questioned the ‘right or wrong’ of my father’s ‘no contact’ sexual abuse (fondling) nor his other behaviors. I never told my mother that my father’s behavior was wrong — I simply accepted it. However, I can vividly recall my mother once...

@Rose White Said: I can relate a lot to the sexual dysfunction. That aspect of the csa fallout is so frustrating and alienating. Very alienating, yes! My sexually abusive father was definitely dysfunctional in many ways, beyond just his sexual behavior. He never sought therapy as he apparently...

beaneeboo said: so the thing about being so young, not being physically touched during abuse (when you were 4) and not necessarily understanding what was going on (so therefore 'why would it be considered abuse') is a logical thought process... but it's a logical thought process for a child who...

I’ve had a number of experiences over my lifetime that I can’t explain. Most of these I can easily forget or at least, they haven’t frightened me nor kept me awake at night. Interestingly, I can’t recall of ever being frightened during these paranormal or UFO experiences though sometimes very...

Why a mentally heathy adult male would prefer sexual intimacy with a child rather than another adult is beyond my understanding. However, my father's CSA of me was different in that, he had no interest in experiencing physical touch nor emotional closeness with me nor with anyone. I’d suspect...

I suspect, my father’s non touch CSA toward me, might have been due to his 'suspected' schizoid personality disorder. He always avoiding physical touch and emotional closeness with everyone. Not even in my parents formal wedding photo was they touching each other nor providing eye contact. Their...

Perhaps my trauma came first. I suspect my first trauma occurred during my near-death whooping cough episodes when I was 6 weeks old. I had at times lost consciousness. The doctors said I wouldn’t survive it. But then too, I wasn’t crying during my infancy and that also hindered my mother-child...

I don’t believe I’ve ever had any non-physical entities living inside my house, neither good nor bad. The negative behaviors, emotions if, spooks and monsters, seem to manifest within my family alone. No one in my dysfunctional family has ever had healthy loving inter-personal relationships...

This small graphite drawing I’d created from my imagination during the early 1970s. Old acidic glue has unfortunately burnt the paper. However, back then, I was noticing a very consistent swirling movement underlying many of Vincent Van Gogh’s paintings. This swirling motion wasn’t found only...

Yes, 'Super creepy!' I was also thinking about this taller figure's face and of how distorted I had drawn it -- as if their genuine facial expressions were unknown to me and thus unreadable. That factor would have only added to my fear of them. My brother has always been that way.

Perhaps these are imaginary siblings …they seem like siblings. This I drew this about 25 years ago. Figure drawings just seem to flow out of me without any intentional focus beyond my awareness that I’m drawing a human figure. Often I won’t even recognize these figures as having any sexual...

This drawing I did years ago depicting my frustration in writing monthly newsletters for a local community group. This work I did even before computers - using a typewriter and whiteout. Event dates, locations, contact names and phone numbers - I had to double-check everything …as if using two...

I don’t know if there is an official term used to describe this type of non-contact sexual abuse. This is what I've been calling it. I was never aware that my father’s behavior was sexual abuse, not until I was told it was CSA on another forum about 20 years ago. But in 1991, when my second T...

@Rose White You wrote: what my dad did to me was like only 10% of what Grandpa did. I doubt that CSA damage could be calculated by percentages. And what happened to them in their past doesn't change anything for you nor me. Still we are all emotionally connected in some way. If they were...