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So last session my t said she was going to email me a relaxation exercise we worked on the session before. The session was Thursday and I haven't got an email yet. I knewover the weekend she probably wouldn't email me but what is her excuse now? I don't know why it's effecting me like this. She...

I'm going to second what @Hope1969 and @Ragdoll Circus said. I think its normal. I have looked my t up on Facebook and Google to see if anything came up. If you think about it you are telling this person some of your darkest secrets without much in return. it is not unhealthy and is normal.

RavenGirl- Ok I was just making sure! :tup::) The appt went pretty good. We did a guided imagery thing. It seemed a little goofy to me but I tried it anyway. Halfway through though I kind of zoned out or tuned her out and didn't hear what she was saying. Anyway next time she wants me to write...

RavenGirl- I'm sorry if what I said came across as me devaluing or minimizing what you went through. That was not my intention or how I meant it at all. I was trying to make you feel better but went about it in the wrong way. Again thank-you for the support! :)

RavenGirl- Thank-you for the encouragement!!:):tup: Oh im sure what you have said to your t wasn't that bad. I'm going to go despite every instinct telling me to avoid and run! :brb::dead: I know it has to get better I just wish it didn't take so long to. :banghead: gizmo- Yea I don't think I...

Whyteferret- that's funny I never thought of myself having ptsd. Yea it is going to be a struggle going on Tuesday. I really want to cancel it and not go. Justmehere- Thank- you! My next appt is this coming Tuesday so we will see how it goes!!

stp2012- Yes it was handled professionally and she was assuring and validating. I think that's one of the things I'm having a problem with. I was expecting her to question me and try to poke holes in my story. Thank-you! GreyOwl- yea I feel that I trust my t a little bit more. Thank-you! I...

joeylittle- It was defiantly nerve racking! Thank- you! RavenGirl- I wish I felt brave. I really just want to run. I didn't really feel anything in her office but afterwards I was completely freaked out. I know deep down she won't judge me but I can't help but kind of feel that way. I think...

stp2012- I wish it felt like I did a brave thing. My stomach is in knots and I feel sick. I will be at work or out somewhere and then I panic and have to stop to take a breath. I know it's my feelings that I'm projecting on her. She did say she felt like there was a piece of the puzzle was...

At my t appointment this week I told my t that there was some abuse during my childhood. She had me journal because I was having a hard time opening up and talking during session. In the journal I was trying to be as honest as I could and wrote some heavy things in there. Things I didn't want...

@Ragdoll Circus- haha I think that is a more acurate description!! :joyful: @The Albatross- yea I am starting to get that until I figure them out and what caused them I won't change or get better. I had a session today and we did sand tray work. It was different and I kinda liked it. Has...

Eve Harrington- I don't really know! I guess I just assumed we would jump into talking about my past. I can tend to be impatient and want results quickly. In the first session she told me it was going to be a long process. Ragdoll circus- yea that would be amazing! One of my problems is...

I have been in CBT for around a month and I feel like it is going pretty slowly. She keeps wanting to talk about my common thoughts and core beliefs. It seems like I keep repeating myself. This week for homework she wanted me to do the downward arrow to identify core beliefs. I know we have only...

Thank you guys!!

Thank- you Hodge and Leigh925 for the insights and advice. Hodge thanks for the hugs! I just got back from the appointment and it wasn't that bad at all! She was really nice and professional. We seemed to be a good fit so I'm going to keep going to her and see how it goes. Thank-you again...

Thanks for all the advice and encouragement! I am with you guys and know I need to keep the appointment. The one thing I do know is that I do not want to keep living like this. I am going to the appointment so we will see how it goes. @Simply Simon- you are right, I'm not seeing my memories as...

I am really contemplating cancelling my T appt for Tuesday. I would just be wasting her time and too complicated for her. Maybe this is denial or minimizing but nothing horrific or terrible happened to me. The therapist will see this and would tell me I'm just overreacting. I don't want to think...

Today I self-harmed for the first time ever. I don't know why I did it. It was almost like a compulsion and I had to give in. I know that sounds weird and messed up! I guess I thought it would make me feel better but it didn't. I did it on my stomach so no one would be able to see it. I don't...

That is awesome to think about! To know that there are people out there who are willing to hear our problems and wanting to genuinely help us. Hopefully I don't screw it up or push them away somehow.

@Unknown Victim I can assure you, you are not that messed up! I would feel the same way though. I would be crushed if my doc said that to me. Yea I really do want to talk and get things off my chest. Now if only my mind and mouth would work together that would be wonderful! Lol

I was rereading my post and gosh I really was not making sense! lol @Ragdoll Circus Ok good, I thought I was losing it! I just kept thinking "what did I just do!" That is what is getting to me, I don't know this person and I'm suppose to tell them things I haven't told anyone? I'm still...

So I have an official appt date with a therapist on April 26. I am kind of freaking out right now and really nervous (this is going to be a long month) I am using my parents insurance and am worried they will find out I'm seeing someone. I also have never been to a therapist so I don't know what...

I'm sorry it has taken me awhile to reply! I have been busy with school and work. I went out of town for a week for spring break. I found the place I was looking at had a place where you could send a request for a consultation online. I did that and haven't heard back yet. I'm nervous because I...

Cashew- Thank-you for the advice! ladee- Thank-you and good to know. That's at least one stressor possibly taken care of. Klo- After reading your post the idea of repressed memories doesn't sound as crazy! I am going to call in the morning and make an appointment. I am getting really bad...

Shodokanjeen- Thanks for the reply! Yes I have tried to do this once about the abuse. I told my mom and step dad when I started to remember things more. My mom had a different version of what happened than I did. That's kind of why I question whether it happened or not. She would have a better...