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Therapy Or No Therapy?

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Others correct me if I am wrong, but as long as you are an adult they will not have to do anything. That would be your choice. So glad you are here. The only suggestion I would make is get into therapy as soon as you can. You do not have to suffer to get help !!:hug:'s if you accept them..
 
Repressed memories are not that crazy. As we go through life, we collect thousands upon thousands of memories, and so they can't all be at the forefront of our conscious mind 24/7 or we wouldn't be able to function at all. Most of the time we have to focus on the here-and-now to be able to function, only recalling memories if they serve some purpose in our current situation.

For example, say you were walking around in a store that had music playing, and it suddenly played a song that you hadn't heard or thought of in years. Hearing it might activate your memories of that song from years ago. You might think, "WoW I forgot all about this song, haven't heard it in years!" But the truth is that the memories of that song were always there, your brain just had no reason to activate them until prompted by the music in the store.

Moments like that demonstrate that
1. the brain can choose to keep memories away from your conscious mind, if for no other reason than to not burden you with excess thoughts
2. the brain can pull up memories long dormant when prompted

Therefore the notion that the brain could choose to keep some memories from your conscious awareness, for your own good, is not crazy. The brain already does this in another way by selectively pulling up memories for you based on the current situation. You don't walk around thinking, "My phone number is.. my phone number is.. my phone number is.." But if you needed to write down your phone number on a job application, your brain would fetch that memory for you right away. Our brains are pretty flippin smart and amazing, really.

With repressed trauma memories, there is scientific neurological research and evidence that shows how trauma literally damages the brain organ. Because of this, under very severe stress, certain parts of the brain will actually shut down, stopping the incoming stimuli and processing, in order to protect itself. When this happens, our ability to comprehend what is still coming through is limited. For example in some cases, our brain might have recorded the visual information, what we were seeing, perhaps also audio, what people were saying, etc, but without processing any of it. Then the brain does have the power and advanced functioning to recognize that should those memories remain in the conscious, the brain would have to remain in a permanent state of being partially shut down, which would make survival very difficult. So therefore the brain must put those memories in storage with all of the other memories, and never activate them.

However, those memories are there, and so there is always the possibility that they could be activated if prompted in certain ways, under certain circumstances.
 
^^^^ just wondering Klo, but are you a professional? It sounds as if you have studied up on the subject!!...

No I am not, I have just done a ton of reading on certain topics, and have also thought about things on my own. One thing that I thought was very telling was how repressed memories were at one point widely accepted and understood, when the focus was just on war veterans. When the topic of child abuse came into the picture, suddenly everyone started backpedaling on the notion of repressed memories. Gee wonder why.
 
The sudden change to " oh, it's not really a memory it's ":
  • A childish fantasy
  • Something a greedy therapist put there
  • A chemical imbalance in your brain

Has happened again and again in the history of trauma. Yeah, like a child or a chemical imbalance can think up some of the perversions?


Likewise dissociative amnesia
It was described as " railway spine" in the mid 19th century, when it became apparent that people who had been in train crashes had huge difficulty recalling what had happened, to accident investigators for the railway owners.

But still, almost two centuries later, someone with trauma memories will be torn to shreds on the witness stand...

- so many graves to piss on!
 
Cashew- Thank-you for the advice!

ladee- Thank-you and good to know. That's at least one stressor possibly taken care of.

Klo- After reading your post the idea of repressed memories doesn't sound as crazy!

I am going to call in the morning and make an appointment. I am getting really bad anxiety just thinking about calling. I get so close to dialing the number but make up every excuse to call the next day. Like, what is the worst thing that could happen? I know all the judgmental thoughts and feelings are just my own. A therapist isn't going to be judging and would be accepting. Maybe that's my problem and why I am hesitant. Why or how could they even care? Another problem I have is getting that close and personal with someone freaks me out! I don't know if I could or even be capable of doing it! Maybe tomorrow I won't be such a chicken and will call and make an appointment. Thank you guys again for your thoughts and advice.
 
@Allie21, it is normal to feel anxiety about doing that first step. We make it very complicated. It's just the way we do things.... the interesting thing is, we think we will get comfortable with the idea and the risk taking, THEN call. It never worked like that for me. The pain of needing help became bigger than the fear of seeking help. Be kind to yourself. Taking that first step is hard, yet, very rewarding. So many fears of the unknowns... I am sending hugs if you accept them. You are doing so well !!! It will happen and you will be so proud of yourself. Then you will freak until the appt. Then you will go and wonder why you put it off for so long. But things happen as they are supposed to, my belief, so you will do what is right for you at the right time..... you are doing awesome.. hang on to that thought.
 
Just wondering if you made the call? My story is very similar. I was around 20 when bits of memory surfaced. I'm 38 now and still don't have answers. The therapist won't be able to tell you if they are real, but a good one will help you cope with the mental turmoil this can cause. It won't go away. I tried that and waited for that. Hoping you are able to find someone good and helpful.
 
I'm sorry it has taken me awhile to reply! I have been busy with school and work. I went out of town for a week for spring break. I found the place I was looking at had a place where you could send a request for a consultation online. I did that and haven't heard back yet. I'm nervous because I don't know what to say when/ if she calls me. When I hit the button I just kept saying to myself what did I do, what did I do!?!?
I will let you know what she says when I talk to her! Thank you guys again for all the support!!
 
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