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That is a very good point... one cannot cause the other. I found out it's genetic in only the women in my paternal side of the family. Oh goodie. So I was basically born with it like everyone else. I know it doesn't change facts... but it still has me wondering if I'm crazy. There's a...

I've been recently diagnosed by my trauma specialist counselor with Bipolar Disorder NOS. I can't say I'm surprised at all. I've been on a mood stabilizer for several months and its changed my life. I'm just wondering... Anyone know how the two disorders can affect each other? Or is Bipolar...

I try to keep the image in my mind of how proud I'll feel of myself knowing I stood up on my own two feet. That I left a bad situation, continued my education, took care of myself financially, etc. I'm having to pull myself up from the ground up but it'll be worth it soon. I like the idea of...

I recently left my very abusive and psychopathic boyfriend. It was hard as hell because we were so in love with each other, but I can't be with someone so disgustingly corrupt. I have my ESA cats and a few friends. However, I've learned I need to accept being alone in this world. I have no...

I got rejected for SSDI in a different state for a second time. :( They keep finding me significantly disabled but not disabled enough to keep me from working a minimum wage job... Ironic the SSDI payments are more than what I could make working full time at minimum wage. What kind of jobs...

My boyfriend ended up being passionate about the same program at college and signed up with me, so we put him in all the same classes with me. Technically, I can only take a dog into the lectures and not the lab rooms. Since my boyfriend is in class with me, the joke with us and one of my...

I have a philosophy with my boyfriend that I do what I can when I can. I'm terrible at cleaning and I'm too disabled to make money and what not. He's learned to be far more gentle, respectful and supportive with me, and in return I'm triggered significantly less. He does a physical job for a...

Ooh where did you get that hands free leash? I can imagine trying to hold onto a dog leash while grocery shopping takes a very well coordinated person... which I am now. :) Haha! Bristol is just so full of love to give. ;)

Have you seen the documentary "Through a Dog's Eyes" about physical service dogs? It was fascinating how these perfectly trained dogs would suddenly develop behavioral problems if they didn't only have eyes for their human. If the dog didn't feel a strong bond with the person, all their...

The abused dog they are bringing from TN, and the lady said she will temperament test her for me. Also said if she's not the right dog, she'll be happy to help me find one. Unfortunately, the two SD trainers I know are a pretty far drive away. She's narrowed it down to 3 different dogs...

That's what I thought. I asked a huge list of questions about what behaviors has she showed. They think because of my condition we'd probably bond more, and while her story really gets to me... I don't think I have the energy to work with those kind of behavioral issues. I need to be able to...

I'm having to "wash out" my little dog because she's getting too posessive and won't stop barking. A rescue contacted me about an abused and neglected dog who has been rehabilitated. Another SD trainer said she knows two dogs who are right for SD duty. The abused one has the saddest story...

I told my NPD mother about the topic of the flashbacks and all she had to say was "Sounds like you need to stay in therapy." Makes me think she knew and didn't give a shit. When I was 6 I had a bad dream and slept in the bed with my mom (just me and her), and I woke up with my dad lying next...

You're right, it is trust betrayal. I mean, sleeping in my bed is weird yes but the fear I feel during these episodes is beyond what I would think my reaction is... I dunno it's all so confusing. As far as my father goes, back in feb he told me he didn't love me and wanted nothing to do with...

My first real dissociative episode was about all of the awful things my father had said to me. Then, I got another really horrible one triggered by something small while laying in the dark in bed with my boyfriend. I thought my bf was my dad and I was in sexual danger, but 25% of me was still...

I looked up the night terror thing and I found what's unique about those... People in a night terror cannot be comforted, and will not respond. My boyfriend's voice and reassurance he was there is what woke me out of that state, and I laid back down. Based on what he said it sounded like I...

No more tired or stressed than usual. My only source of stress has been the three dissociative flashbacks I had this week, and returning memories of things I didn't even know happened.

My boyfriend said I woke up fully in my sleep last night, sat up, said something to the person in my bed I thought it was in a state of complete terror, he reassured me in my sleep that it was him, and then apparently I said okay and laid back down and went to sleep. I have nearly no memory of...

My point was yesterday that since I can't take care of myself in a lot of ways... I put up with shit I don't like because he's a carer in a way. Yes he's a huge asshole sometimes and goes nutty himself because he refuses to get psych treatment (it's so obvious he needs meds). Before I got on...

That's okay. I hope you feel better soon enough. Thanks for answering even though you're having a rough day. I appreciate it. :) If I could afford to feed a bigger dog, I would definitely have one. If I get SSDI, I can probably start looking for a bigger dog. A service dog trainer is...

I wish I could do that... I probably would have stayed in the big city instead of moving to this small town. However, when I mean I can't take care of myself... I mean I can't help clean almost at all. It's really hard for me. I have about 5 flashbacks a day. Just earlier today I completely...

She's getting the hang of it! After only 5 days of training... yeayah! Took her through the Wendy's drive through and said, "Leave it" a bunch of times and gave her the quiet hand signal, she muffled-closed-mouth-woof a little but not full on crazy high pitched park like she normally does...

I have no family, no friends that can help, no money, I can't take care of myself, and I have 3 ESA cats I could never ever ever ever get rid of. I've already talked to local housing and unless I have an income (still waiting on SSDI to process), they can't help me with anything. The...

Weird how abusive parents seem to use the cleaning as an excuse. Look, I know there are flags and I tell him to stop it every time he does one of them. But I mentally can't handle uprooting myself with no income. Even then I would be stuck here... His dog is my service dog, the college is...

I realized I was making a few royal mistakes with jersey's walks. Because seeing her get excited about a walk looked adorable, I was getting her wound up first. My boyfriend also put her in the habit of walking in front of him and pulling on the leash the last 3 years, so thinking she needed...